Ageing and Fear of Technology! (60+, grandparents, relocate, Canada)

[yellowsnow]

This should be a feel good thread for all of us! 'We', collectively speaking, are pretty much cutting edge compared to lots of folks out there. We are lucky. Technology helps us every day. For the most part, we are still learning and growing.

I wonder if there will come a day when I suddenly become too old to be interested or change/adapt to what's new out there? I hope not and I am planning on fighting it! Still learning my new Android so I can't go over the hill yet! And I just finished extending my wired and wireless network. Works much better now!

Recently, I have mentioned the new person in my life, SO's cousin. He relocated from NYC to Vegas. He is seriously, with just a few exceptions, a throwback to the 1980's. He is in his 60's but to me he seems 'older' than my mom was in her mid 80's.

He does use a cellphone. But when it comes to paying the bill, he will travel by bus to the store and pay an extra dollar to pay it in person and get a receipt. He is disabled and walks with a cane so this trip will take him at least a couple hours. And it will be painful too. Plus the bus costs money. So I showed him it takes less than 10 seconds to pay a cell bill online and you get a confirming text and an email receipt within seconds. Will he do it? I think not.

He still buys stamps, checks, and mails his bills. Then he checks with each company every month to make sure they received his payment. Really? I don't think I have done these things for decades. Everything is online.

He loves the library. And he goes there in person to check out books. And carries them home on the bus. I showed him how I do it. I virtually go to the library and download what I want to read. Sometimes I read a book on the computer, and sometimes I will put the book on my Android or Nook so it's portable. The look on his face was pure deer in headlights. Just the idea totally befuddled him.

He loves music. Growing up in NYC and living there all these years gave him the opportunity to actually see almost all his favorite artists. He has an extensive collection...wait for it....on vinyl. He has never owned a CD. He actually has a turntable and plays records. So I showed him my ipod. SO introduced him to his collection of CD's and the wonder of Bose speakers. And burned him a CD.

Maybe the most confusing part of this is that he is our contemporary and it's like talking to your grandparents. I have no idea if he can be dragged into this millennium but I'm going to try. I built him a laptop out of spare parts I had lying around. I guess a new challenge for me will be trying to teach him how to use it.

How can anyone reach 60+ in this day and age NOT be computer savvy? He has never bought anything online either.

Take a minute to think about what technology does for us every day and be thankful we aren't like this guy! Just being able to access and use things online, like this forum, from our armchairs, is a great gift. Till I met this guy I took most of it for granted. I think I will start paying more attention!

[volosong]

It's a losing battle if you try to teach him to be computer savvy. Tired it with my dad, and he just couldn't get the hang of it nor see the benefits. This was way back too. Mid '80s. If your SO's cousin is happy, let him be. This stuff's not easy and will lead to all kinds of frustration in his life. Perhaps a way to start, if he is willing, is to take a basic computer class. The ones that they offer at community senior centers. That might be an soft way to ease him in.

I've been fortunate to be on the cusp of the technological revolution. In fact, where I work, we 'push' technology, (NASA space program). About the only thing that I don't like doing is read texts on a tablet, computer, or any other type of computerized display. There is just something about having a physical book and turning the pages. I'm also reluctant to pay my bills on-line. Most of them anyway. Barely a week goes by when we don't hear about some security breech at somewhere or other where customer's data has been compromised. When I can feel confident that data breeches are a thing of the past, then I'll transition completely to computer, on-line payment of bills.

- - -

p.s. Totally unrelated...I'll be in your town in two weeks, the nights of the 20th and 21st, to attend a training class. Are there any reasonably prices hotels that the local know about, but don't want to let the secret out?

[Happy in Wyoming]

Originally Posted by yellowsnow

Recently, I have mentioned the new person in my life, SO's cousin. He relocated from NYC to Vegas. He is seriously, with just a few exceptions, a throwback to the 1980's. He is in his 60's but to me he seems 'older' than my mom was in her mid 80's...

The implication is that this somehow makes him your inferior. I disagree. Why should he do it the ''modern way'' which is nothing more than your way. I'm sure that you think your sneering and condescending acccount of this gentleman will elicit laughing agreement from everyone.

I'm 71; I do pay bills online and order many things online because I find it convenient and often the only source of certain goods. I use the internet to find information of all sorts quickly. That doesn't make me superior, however.

I have a desktop and a Kindle Paperwhite. I do not own a pad, tablet, or similar. My cell phone is basic. I've received text messages, but I've never had a reason to send one.

I use a wood-fired cook stove because I prefer it to ''modern'' gas or electric ranges.

You must really consider me to be your inferior.

I'd have lunch with him, but I sure wouldn't with you.

[Lastfire]

I believe you can be both the person who uses stamps/mail and also use the computer. Why not? Some bills I pay via computer but some agencies have sorry billing systems (which I don't trust). I use the stamp and envelope for those. I order items using Prime/Amazon but I still love to "hold a real book." Even if he does everything the old-fashioned way, I think that is okay. He is happy...let him be.

[yellowsnow]

Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming

The implication is that this somehow makes him your inferior. I disagree. Why should he do it the ''modern way'' which is nothing more than your way. I'm sure that you think your sneering and condescending acccount of this gentleman will elicit laughing agreement from everyone.

I'm 71; I do pay bills online and order many things online because I find it convenient and often the only source of certain goods. I use the internet to find information of all sorts quickly. That doesn't make me superior, however.

I have a desktop and a Kindle Paperwhite. I do not own a pad, tablet, or similar. My cell phone is basic. I've received text messages, but I've never had a reason to send one.

I use a wood-fired cook stove because I prefer it to ''modern'' gas or electric ranges.

You must really consider me to be your inferior.

I'd have lunch with him, but I sure wouldn't with you.

Not at all. He is a good guy and I like him. I do feel sorry for him because especially with his disability, technology could make his life much easier. There's no 'superior' or 'inferior' to it. Just a statement of fact. It's like he is from a different era. He does make me appreciate my daily effortless use of technology and make me hope I continue to keep up!

I have cooked many a meal on a woodstove and would continue to do so if I still had one. I do have plans to convert my useless gas fireplace by adding an insert so I can burn wood and if it can be done I will plan the insert design so I can do just that!

[NoMoreSnowForMe]

I'm glad I can do what I can do on the computer. But, I have come to the point where I don't want to have to learn anything significantly different when it comes to technology. I find it frustrating and exhausting. I just want to do what i want to do, without having to get another degree, so to speak, to do what i want to do.

For instance, I have an old Compaq with Windows XP. I have been computer shopping. Unfortunately, I have never used a Mac, and they're too expensive for me anyway, but I'm afraid of the learning curve. The reason I'd consider a Mac is because from what I understand, Apple doesn't reinvent the wheel every time they come up with a new OS. Windows, though, OMG.

I got a computer with Windows 8 on it - and it was a foreign world. Took me hours of watching YouTube videos on my Compaq, to realize that not only was the Windows 8 OS really not user friendly, but there was something wrong with the computer that made it worse. Yikes.

Then, I bought another laptop that had Windows 7 Professional on it, which is about impossible to find, and I thought, hey I can do this - but it turned out to be junk (Dell Inspiron) that kept giving me a white screen with an error message about the HP Graphics driver failing - but repairing itself! So much for the Win 7 Pro option - I have read the ones that come with Win 8.1 with the professional downgrade don't work right either.

Ugh. $800 computers should work. And I don't want to have to figure out Windows 8.1, which doesn't appear to be much better or easier to learn than Windows 8. And Macs would be a huge learning curve, too. So, I'm waiting for Windows 10 to come out and figure out if I can figure out Win 10.

I wish laptops were standardized. Wish I could just add more memory in my old Compaq laptop and keep Windows XP. But, already, I've had to learn "fixes" when using Firefox because nearly everything uses too much RAM for my laptop now. Firefox has this component now called pugin-container, which eats a huge amount of RAM, so I had to learn how to get a Firefox plug-in that lets me turn off Adobe Flash, so I can then disable the plugin-container.

Anyway, yes, I can figure out this stuff, but I hate it.

I also can't get into all the social media. How do people have time for real life if they're on Instagram (never seen it), facebook (on it rarely), twitter (only go on it for the occasional sweepstakes entry), on and on.

Also, I don't like reading a computer screen. It's not even so much that I like turning a page, which I do, but looking at a backlit screen tires my eyes.

So, yes, I'm grateful I have some clue when it comes to technology. But, I have also started hiring people to do stuff I just don't want to have to figure out anymore. For instance, a friend started a YouTube channel, and paid for a logo. I was able to figure out how to use the logo to put a picture icon, but couldn't for the life of me figure out how to make the channel art. We're hiring someone to do that for her, that I found on Etsy.

I do plan on getting myself a smart phone for X-mas. I want to be able to call my friend in Canada using Skype (which we use and love) from anywhere with an i-pad or similar device. And I do like the idea of having a GPS with me and want some of the other apps. Right now I have a dumb phone.

I also love being able to pay bills online, though, and hate having to write two checks a month - my landlord and a government agency that will charge me too much if I pay with a credit or debit card.

Anyway, I definitely see your point about your relative needing a better option than a long bus ride. But, I do understand his deer in the headlights look. Maybe he doesn't learn new things easily, and also doesn't want to look stupid in front of others willing to teach him.

I agree you should let him be, or offer to pay his bills for him online? Or drive him there?

[Gandalara]

NoMoreSnowForMe -
Just an FYI ... Windows will be offering a free upgrade to Win10 (for 1 year after the release date) for people running Win7, Win8.1 and WinPhone8.1 devices. This is according to PCWorld and CNet and other sources. But they still haven't said when they are releasing Win10
(I'll have to go find some free wi-fi when Win10 is released. Thank the ghods I was staying at a hotel when I upgraded from 8.0 to 8.1 - it was a huge download!)

yellowsnow - I got the feeling from your post that your SO's cousin is seeing those trips on the bus and the phone calls and the trips to the library as social. It may pain him, but maybe that's his version of getting out to see people? Heh - introduce him to City Data
I have a 52 year old nephew who does not own a computer, although he uses one at his work - as little as possible - he considers computers an 'evil necessity'. If the family needs to email him, it's a work address. He does not own a smart phone - he has a 'dumb' clam shell. I just think he's weird

ETA: I still have vinyl - but no record player, LOL

[maggie2101]

There is nothing wrong with vinyl. In fact, it is making a comeback. I would give anything to get back the 2000 vinyl LPs I sold when I moved from Los Angeles.

[texdav]

I don't even thinking in coming years the computer itself is the tech miracle for seniors. it will be robotics more and more.

[brokensky]

Some folks are just terribly intimidated by technology, even if they know in their hearts it would make life easier.

I have increasingly become dismayed with being tied so much to everything being online - for security reasons. It is pretty scary to think about how easy it is for a hacker to take down a company. It has made me really concerned about banking, for example. What would any of us do if we logged in to our bank account one day and found it at zero? How would we reconstruct? Prove what money we had in those accounts? WIthout backing up things online on a very regular basis, it would be a big mess.

Of course, I think the same thing about electricity. All it takes is a power outage for my world to crumble. I don't even have a clock that isn't dependent on electricity.

But what is the average person to do? The conveniences are so real. I remember when it changed my world to be able to fax my articles back to the newspaper instead of showing up on site. It was HUGE!!! Life changing. And now - I can communicate so easily with anyone -- anywhere!

Then I look at how much these conveniences are costing me monthly, and I get really upset. It should not cost hundreds of dollars to have a cell phone and WiFi. I gave up cable TV to cut down on that cost (over $100 a month). But these providers have us so dependent on them . . . I cannot imagine not having WiFi. I depend on it for my work as well as for my entertainment (i.e., I play World of Warcraft and I use Netflix).

I have tried for years to get my parents hooked up. Even gave them a Mac computer. A router. A large cinema monitor. We (me and the grandchildren) have tried again and again to teach them how to use the computer. They are afraid to even turn it on.

And forget them texting. It would be soooo convenient if they would just learn to text us. But no way.

I no longer use email except for business. All of my friends and I communicate online (FB typically). Well, my parents won't even use email, which would at least mean we could send them photos and recipes and interesting articles (especially about medical issues).

I gave up several years ago. They have to figure it out for themselves. We thought with all their friends online, this would encourage them. But for some reason they are stubbornly opposed to anything to do with the internet and computers.

No one even mentions it to them any longer. I think we all stopped saying anything maybe in 2006 or so.

ETA: with illness, especially, we have tried to show my parents that things like online bill pay and ordering groceries for delivery could be so helpful for them! Also, ordering other items online and having them delivered (OTC medications, for example) would be wonderful as my Mom doesn't drive any longer and my Dad walks with a cane. But for whatever reasons, they are not interested.