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I have no children so I have never been able to delude myself that anyone will want my stuff. But my semi-hoarder mother died in 2012, leaving a huge collection of teddybears, plus antique (early 20th century) dolls. We're talking 23 big moving cartons of bears, many with their own furniture. There is NO secondary market for this stuff. None. Ebay has killed the collectibles market entirely. I have donated at least $3000 worth ("worth" meaning "what she paid for them") of bears to charity thrift shops and tricky trays. Most of her furniture went to the Habitat ReStore. I have a dresser and a vanity and that's it. My husband died in 2013 and his treasured collection of all post-1980 comic books went to a friend because post-1980 comix are worth nothing.
I threw away thousands of old photos of people whom I have no idea who they are.
I think if you assume no one is going to want your stuff and that when you die, your stuff will end up in a dumpster or bonfire a la Charles Foster Kane, you're ahead of the game.
While the Teddy bear market may have become, well, bearish, there is still a good market for antique and vintage dolls in good condition. Check Theriault's doll auction company, if you still have these dolls.
But - condition is key, unless your mom's dolls are extremely rare. There are doll collectors' clubs all over - get in touch with your local club and see if their members might be interested. If you can't find a local club, contact the United Federation of Doll Clubs and see if there are any members at large in your area.
I am glad your mother's bears weren't destroyed or thrown away. It sounds as if her dolls and bears brought her a great deal of pleasure, and that sort of value has little or nothing to do with monetary value.
I am a Boomer and I certainly understand children not wanting sets of china from their parents/grandparents. What young people have time to have formal sit down meals? With the busy schedules of most young folks, it is grab a bite out the door. I don't believe that many families still host formal dinners where one would use fine china. It would only sit in a cabinet gathering dust. Not saying this is right or wrong, but just my opinion.
I could ask, what older people have time to have formal sit down meals? I am nearing 60, but I work full time, hit the gym every night after work, get home around 10, and am busy all weekend with either house/yard stuff or doing stuff with my BF. Son is in college, and honestly I don't even remember the last time we had a sit-down-at-the-table meal at my house. I don't even see me doing that after I retire. Once my son was off to school - I no longer had any need or desire to even have dinner at night - I am too busy!!
When my parents married... their apartment was all hand me downs... anyone remember cinder block bricks for a bookshelf...
Nothing was new and they were grateful family and friends offered and were able to lend a hand.
Mom's first purchase was a sofa in 1960... she still has it and no... it is not the kind no one can sit on.
In 1967 as a Christmas present to each other they bought a frost free refrigerator freezer and in 1969 the same with a Dryer and both mom still uses today...
Furniture, bedding, appliances, clothes were almost all hand me downs and we were glad to have them...
I think the difference today is kids can go out and buy what they want... and they are not limited to a single Sears Charge Card for the entire family shopping...
Starting with nothing fosters an appreciation that is hard for those that never experienced it.
Ummm.... I started with nothing. I'm not sure why you think otherwise. I moved out into a crappy apartment once I had a decent job, and had to get by with very little for several years. I bought my own house at 28, and proceeded to furnish it with what I liked, a little bit at a time. I worked for everything I got. My parents did as well.
I know that my son would certainly not want all my "stuff". I have actually written up a document that goes over all the furniture and collectibles that I have, so that he can make some sort of informed decision whenever that time comes (which is hopefully a long time away!!).
Part of that, though, is that pre-"throw away society" or pre-"brought in on a boat from China", the prices of appliances and furniture were much higher.
1960 10" TV - $169
1960 fridge - $600
1960 washer - $235
adjust those for inflation (via the CPI calculator) and you get a $1,400 TV, a $4,800 fridge and an $1,800 washing machine. And that is not including the hedonic adjustment for the increase in functionality (economists like to adjust prices upward for changes in functionality but never seem to adjust prices downward because many new items don't last the way they did in 1960). My last 36" TV was $400, the fridge we needed when we moved here was $2,000 and the washer and dryer were about $800.
Of course, wages have been stagnant (at best) since about 1980, which the falling prices of good somewhat hides. The was the trade-off, cheap mass-produced offshore goods for jobs (particularly manufacturing jobs that people - mostly men - could get straight out of high school without shelling out a minimum of $50,000 for a 4 yr degree).
Also things like food - in 1960, the average household spent 18% of its income on food (both eating at home and eating out). Now it is 8%.
Very true...
Had a discussion with my cousin not that long ago... her husband had the nerve to buy her a washer/dryer set for Christmas... it was one of the fancy front loaders and over $2,000... she was livid... just show times changed.
Mom and Dad pulled together and when they bought a clothes dryer that was really living high... because no one needs an expensive clothes dryer when a length of rope will do...
Maybe it comes down to expectations?
Things that were considered luxuries are now considered necessities... back in the day it also took a lot of sacrifice and older people still remember.
I managed a lot of low income rentals at one time and one thing that was always in short supply was dumpster space... the volume of trash tossed boggles my mind even thinking about it... like Christmas Bicycles a few months old with flat tires tossed or other things that just needed a bolt or screw to fix gone...
When I was 8 the family pooled together and bought me a Schwinn bike... it was my pride and joy and I kept it oiled up and when the tire had a flat I went and bought a patch kit and patched the tube... sure other kids had expensive multi-speed bikes... just knowing that everyone in the family chipped in so I would have a brand new bike made it special... and YES... I still have it today and have been asked several times if I would sell...
Last summer Mom called and said it looks like she needs a new dryer and she said it was OK if it was white if I could not get it in Avocado...
Took a look and found the belt had broke... with the part number and less than $5 I had replaced the belt and her dryer was good as new... not bad for something pushing 50...
A lot gets tossed because no one wants it... back in the day things got tossed when they wore out...
While the Teddy bear market may have become, well, bearish, there is still a good market for antique and vintage dolls in good condition. Check Theriault's doll auction company, if you still have these dolls.
But - condition is key, unless your mom's dolls are extremely rare. There are doll collectors' clubs all over - get in touch with your local club and see if their members might be interested. If you can't find a local club, contact the United Federation of Doll Clubs and see if there are any members at large in your area.
I am glad your mother's bears weren't destroyed or thrown away. It sounds as if her dolls and bears brought her a great deal of pleasure, and that sort of value has little or nothing to do with monetary value.
Another cousin had the first Barbie Dolls given to her by her Godparents... she was meticulous and they were mint in the box like everything she had as a child... when she went off to college her Mom decided to clean house... put it all out on the curb for city clean up day... to this day my cousin remembers... and it's not because they would be worth thousands today...
Last edited by Ultrarunner; 03-31-2015 at 01:09 PM..
Ummm.... I started with nothing. I'm not sure why you think otherwise. I moved out into a crappy apartment once I had a decent job, and had to get by with very little for several years. I bought my own house at 28, and proceeded to furnish it with what I liked, a little bit at a time. I worked for everything I got. My parents did as well.
I know that my son would certainly not want all my "stuff". I have actually written up a document that goes over all the furniture and collectibles that I have, so that he can make some sort of informed decision whenever that time comes (which is hopefully a long time away!!).
Most I know started with very little and many have made a very comfortable life and a few are quite wealthy... most are still very frugal and simply cannot stand to see waste... not wanting or being able to use something is one thing... saying that when so and so dies were are getting a dumpster or having a bonfire is quite another and could only happen in a society of plenty... nothing directed personally towards you.
February, a long time friend sold his home and moved to assisted living... his daughters live on the other side of the country... he was troubled not knowing what to do with household things like washer/dryer, kitchen pots and pans, utensils, china etc and asked me to help..
Within 24 hours I had found homes for everything... a young couple starting out with two kids was thrilled to have the washer and dryer because it meant not having to spend hours at the laundromat anymore...
My friend was not looking for any money... just knowing things he could no longer keep were going to someone that would appreciate them.
Since a child... I have always been around a lot of older people... many of my close friends are/were 50 years or more my senior... it does give a different prospective as to what it's like being old... every Sunday for years I was doing the grocery shopping for several that had no one... they were just neighbors or friends and even a co-worker that was a mentor when I was starting out.
A lot gets tossed because no one wants it... back in the day things got tossed when they wore out...
I won't say that once upon a time things were designed to be fixed, but the designs tended to be quite a bit simpler and had components that could be R&R. Not so much now.
When we first married in 1980, we bought a 15 yr old washing machine and dryer - even things like the motor in the washer could be rewound (twice before we gave up on it). The spouse did all our car repair. Now, even with advanced degrees in engineering, he doesn't bother to work on electrical/electronic devices or our cars because he can't. Everything has sealed modules and dedicated ICs and SMT electronics that you can't work on, and if they are more than a couple years old, you can't really replace them, either. In 2007 I bought a new stove and needed a (major) replacement part for it in 2012 - completely unavailable. I watched Craiglist and some of the other "used" sources but never found it.
Even just 10 years back, I assembled all of our computers from parts - now I can't do it as cheaply as I can buy them as whole units, particularly laptops. That makes them essentially disposable.
The culture of the tinkerer / fixer / hacker (the original definition of the word) is not really something that got passed down and that is something that contributes to being wasteful.
When I grew up there was actually a fix-it shop in town... people would bring in lamps that needed a new cord or blinds needing a new ladder (I think that's the term)
Where I bought my second home my neighbors had all moved in the 1930's and no one ever left... I bought my home from the original owner as mentioned before.
What impressed me is these mostly 80 year old widows all had tool boxes, did their yard work, had pruning shears and a basically what was needed for basic household repairs...
Maybe that time has passed and being self reliant and able just isn't a trait valued today...
Still marvel at one older lady that would take apart her Wedgwood stove and clean every nook right down to the gas burner jets... she said when she bought the stove new in the 1940's she insisted she be showed how to do these things...
Cars are a mixed bag because new cars require much less in terms of maintenance... my hobby is restoring antique cars... from 1905 through the 1960's...
Driving home all the dash lights on my BMW illuminated like a Christmas Tree... car stumbled and lucky I was able to coast home... called BMW and said it would take a week and figure $800 on the low side if I was lucky...
Got on the internet and put in my symptoms... found a defective voltage regulator integral to the alternator could cause this... $37 dollars later and 2 hours of my time it was fixed...
They don't want your stuff because they are 6 people to a two bedroom apartment.
My son is in the Bay area, too. He is married with a child and can barely afford a one bedroom apartment. My grandson's "bedroom" is a closet. There is not very much room for anything extra.
Bay Area is a tough market right now... very desirable and limited possibility for large numbers of new housing close in...
On the bright side... most of the people I work with retire, sell and move out of state...
I go years without raising rents unless there is a turn over... I appreciate good tenants and don't want them stressing over annual rent increases in property I own.
I have a feeling this to will pass...
A home next to me sold for 80k in 1989 and was resold several time until it sold for 510k in 2007... in 2009 the bank sold it for 130k then it sold again for 2012 for 200k and now is probably pushing 500k again... timing cannot be discounted...
The new millennial that paid 200k said it was the best thing they ever did... against the advice of many urging them not to get tied down with a home and mortgage payments... they have been out looking because the 1200 square foot 3 br 1922 home is getting tight with 2 kids...
They can opt for a long commute and double the size of their home... and they can again have a home office which they had to give up when the second child came along...
By the way... the place looks great... almost all from Ikea and they said they would try to sell most of it if they do move...
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I am nearing 60, but I work full time, hit the gym every night after work, get home around 10, and am busy all weekend with either house/yard stuff or doing stuff with my BF. Son is in college, and honestly I don't even remember the last time we had a sit-down-at-the-table meal at my house. I don't even see me doing that after I retire. Once my son was off to school - I no longer had any need or desire to even have dinner at night - I am too busy!!
