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The best way to make new friends is to meet new people. Join new groups, organizations, or activities. There you have a strong chance of meeting new people, and any friendships which ensue will be new friends!
It will not happen by sitting in your recliner and lamenting.
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
10,347 posts, read 8,564,711 times
Reputation: 16689
Quote:
Originally Posted by MI-Roger
The best way to make new friends is to meet new people. Join new groups, organizations, or activities. There you have a strong chance of meeting new people, and any friendships which ensue will be new friends!
It will not happen by sitting in your recliner and lamenting.
Yes it does take effort and covid isn’t helping.
Yes it does take effort and covid isn’t helping.
There may still be opportunities.
A local Health Club decided to set up free outdoor exercise and yoga programs for members and their friends this summer since the Club was closed by Executive Order and as a future membership promotion. They chose the park adjacent to our neighborhood to do these events, every partipant had one parking stall to themselves for social distancing, my wife participated as a friend of a Health Club member, and she met a woman from a block away that she didn't previously know. Not full friends yet but more than an acquaintance.
I found that friend circles changed as I changed paths, from student to parent to employee, our lives took different paths. We remained friends, but it became dinner once or twice a year.
I recently stopped working, as did several others that I knew from different jobs. Although we were friends at work and even outside work, without work there doesn't seem to be much in common. It's like dud conversations that repeat themselves rather than veering into more entertaining conversations. Indeed, I might be the dud, hard to say. I think one of the issues is a big political difference that was unspoken as work colleagues.
Reconnecting with old friends is always a treat, it's as though a day hasn't passed between then and now. Those are the friends on different paths that I see once or twice a year.
Making new friends online during pandemic is tricky if dating sites are avoided. There's something called Meetups that I heard about through volunteering. There are diverse special interest groups that meet regularly - I plan to try it at some point, as there's a local meetup called Changing Perceptions of Aging. Who knows, I might make a new entertaining friend with similar political leanings.
[/quote]I also lost a friend when the man she was dating behaved in a very abusive manner to her. She understood he was wrong and was bad for her. She had a PhD, for heaven's sake. But she was addicted and just couldn't bring herself to drop him. Instead, she dropped me (the person who was literally protecting her) and went ahead and married him. Needless to say, he ordered her to keep me out of her life. Another very sad loss for me but one I couldn't really do anything about.[/quote]
I had a friendship that fizzled due to something a little similar. A friend was dating a guy and the way she described the relationship, it didn't sound "kosher." It sounded like he was using her. During one phone call,
she mentioned that he came over last night and she cooked for him (he never seemed to take her out).
I made the mistake of asking, "Does he ever take you out to eat?" and she seemed a bit offended by that.
I wasn't hearing from her so much and when I'd call her, I noticed she didn't act too friendly. Years later, she got in touch and when I asked if she was still seeing him, she said no and admitted he was no good. But the
friendship still feels distant and I know it turned on a dime when I asked that one question.
A childhood friend called me yesterday out of the blue and it was great hearing from her! We were talking and
laughing about the past. It would be great to see her again (when things calm down).
I've also had friendships which didn't seem to last due to some mental health issues. I don't want to sound cold but I think it's healthier not to renew those.
I've had some work friends who I thought would be "forever friends." Some of them died young.
I made a nice, casual friend from aqua-size. She's older but a sweet lady. She's been texting me, checking
on me during Covid. I like her.
I had a friendship that fizzled due to something a little similar. A friend was dating a guy and the way she described the relationship, it didn't sound "kosher." It sounded like he was using her.
During one phone call, she mentioned that he came over last night and she cooked for him (he never seemed to take her out). I made the mistake of asking, "Does he ever take you out to eat?" and she seemed a bit offended by that. I wasn't hearing from her so much and when I'd call her, I noticed she didn't act too friendly. Years later, she got in touch and when I asked if she was still seeing him, she said no and admitted he was no good. But the friendship still feels distant and I know it turned on a dime when I asked that one question.
A childhood friend called me yesterday out of the blue and it was great hearing from her! We were talking and
laughing about the past. It would be great to see her again (when things calm down).
I've also had friendships which didn't seem to last due to some mental health issues. I don't want to sound cold but I think it's healthier not to renew those.
I've had some work friends who I thought would be "forever friends." Some of them died young.
I made a nice, casual friend from aqua-size. She's older but a sweet lady. She's been texting me, checking
on me during Covid. I like her.
I met a man one night who was really into me, so I took his number. I noticed that he wanted to meet at mine and wasn't able to talk at supper time when he was away, so I called at supper time more than once. I never allowed him to meet at mine. Not wanting to go out means something is not above board - as in married.
The relationship can turn on a dime again, but it doesn't mean you flipped heads.
There are mental health friends who call out of the blue and you don't even remember their names. Decision made, no need to waiver and rekindle.
The most treasured friends are the ones who knew us from way back. The shared memories connect our younger selves with our older selves, keeping the embers of our lives aglow. I am fortunate to have a small handful of these, although they are mostly sustained through emails and the occasional phone call now.
The next best group are friends made through family or other friends. There is a connected overlap there, with similar frames of reference and kinship. Several years ago, I had lunch with my mother and her friends who had their daughter (about my age) visiting. The lunch was only an hour but we instantly felt we had known each other forever and have kept in touch by email. Her support after my mother's death has been immeasurable.
In the aftermath of my mother's death, I've also been exchanging greeting cards and calls with one of her friends (age 94) who lives in assisted living in another part of the state. I've never met her but again feel bonded by the overlap of their longtime friendship. She lost her husband, daughter, and son close together and managed to stay afloat and is now offering wisdom and emotional support which have helped me get through this. There is no age barrier; it feels like we are the same age even though she is 30 years older.
The shared bond of anything we love -- even a cherished geographical location -- can form the solid foundation for a thriving friendship.
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
10,347 posts, read 8,564,711 times
Reputation: 16689
Quote:
Originally Posted by MI-Roger
There may still be opportunities.
A local Health Club decided to set up free outdoor exercise and yoga programs for members and their friends this summer since the Club was closed by Executive Order and as a future membership promotion. They chose the park adjacent to our neighborhood to do these events, every partipant had one parking stall to themselves for social distancing, my wife participated as a friend of a Health Club member, and she met a woman from a block away that she didn't previously know. Not full friends yet but more than an acquaintance.
Yes. But for some it is a supreme effort so having limited opportunities just makes it harder for them. It may well be a numbers game. Some people you might meet might be more reluctant to become friendlier.
I’m in Georgia where things are a bit more relaxed when it comes to covid. Not as many opportunities to socially engage as before, but people are out and about so if you try, new friends are always a possibility.
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