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I read recently that the biggest regret that retirees had was not retiring sooner. They would rather have had less money than retire when they are too old to enjoy activities. I have 2 suggestions:
1. You could suggest that you retire and your wife work since she's younger. Seems fair
2. Maybe you could get fired. You could do a crappy job for 1 year until they fire you and then draw unemployment for 2 years. That would get you to 65! Wow. What a plan.
I read recently that the biggest regret that retirees had was not retiring sooner. They would rather have had less money than retire when they are too old to enjoy activities. I have 2 suggestions:
1. You could suggest that you retire and your wife work since she's younger. Seems fair
2. Maybe you could get fired. You could do a crappy job for 1 year until they fire you and then draw unemployment for 2 years. That would get you to 65! Wow. What a plan.
I ask my manager kiddingly about firing me... at my age they don't "fire" anyone but offer the opportunity to retire. We both laughed and then he said... ok I'll do it for 5K.
I have a friend with a similar situation. May I suggest that you and your wife spend a lot of time talking thru the reasons for her fears? Is there any reason to think she will be more comfortable with your retirement next year? or the year after? If not, do you plan to work until you drop? This is something for her to think about logically and fairly.
Its a big change, and will take some compromises and adjustments, but pls don't forget that you have earned this, and are no less entitled to be happy in your senior years than she is.
I agree with this. You need better communication. You don't really know why she resists the idea.
I also am not clear about whether she works. Does she? I do think I'd wait until the last kid launches, but after that, if you have the means, then I think you should be able to retire.
You need to sit down without your wife and determine when you are financially able to retire, and then when YOU want to retire. Make the decision and stick to it. You will be the most miserable person in the world if you keep working because she wants you to but you don't want to. Hopefully she will agree with your decisions. If not, there are more over 55 single ladies out there than ever before.
*The youngest has been away at college for 5 yrs (EE) so no empty nest... we're done with that.
*No need for marriage counseling... we're solid as a rock.
*A bit of resentment maybe on my part, but sacrafice is the husbands burden, IMO. I will do what is necessary for her to feel loved and safe.
*We've talked about buying a flipping a few houses since I capable and she's in real estate but I worry about her "going cheap". I'm not good at "that's good enough" so I'm hesitant. might work if she can commit to the "plan". She's not good at planning the work and working the plan.
*Work wants me to be available after retirement but I'm ready for something different after 35 yrs.
I'm gonna have the kids work on her... Kids can be bribed (kiddin')
I can understand her concerns and you sound kind of pissed about the whole thing. How much time you spend discussing when you'd retire? It almost sounds like you decided on your own without a lot of talking. Also perhaps your wife is concerned your kids might boomerang back to living at home, or even that they haven't moved out yet. Even if you don't INTEND for them to remain dependent, you may end up helping them more than you'd like to think.
Maybe slow things down a bit and have some in-depth discussion to address her fears and your aspirations. Find out how you both expect to handle the kids if things don't go as planned.
When your 'financial guy' said that you are good to go without any details,what does that mean? You have enough money to pay bills and live on as well as for unexpected health concerns? What do you plan to do when you retire?
Maybe your wife is okay with the general idea of retirement but the actuality of it scares her. It might be an unreal fear to you but something about it scares her, She might be going through a lot of feelings right now about the changes in your life (the last child leaving home, the possibility of you retiring) that she may not be able to articulate yet. Continue to talk to her and find out why your retirement seems to scare her.
Would it help, as someone suggested, to retire gradually- cut down to part time then leave the job at the end of a year (or whatever time frame that you have)? She'll need to start thinking about her own retirement as well.
Does your wife go with you when you see "the financial guy"? Does she understand your financial position?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave_n_Tenn
yes
Regardless of what you think she understands, she's still anxious. You can "hang tough" and go ahead and retire immediately but I'm not sure either of you will be very happy until you come to more of an agreement on expectations.
As mentioned, maybe she is feeling a bit envious that she we will still be working and you will be "sitting around"?
Maybe it makes her feel old or embarrassed to have a "retired" husband?
Or, hate to suggest it, are you sure she isn't having an affair?
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You could do a crappy job for 1 year until they fire you and then draw unemployment for 2 years. That would get you to 65! Wow. What a plan.
