Do you ever give your spouse a chance to miss you? (spouses, retired)
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I'm realizing our world has become largely restricted to home in recent years and I hate it. I can't see spending the rest of our lives like this -- only more so -- after we retire.
DH has given up the solo dive trips he used to take with buddies -- they don't want to go, either. He works in a different department now that doesn't require him to travel, whereas previously he might go to the East Coast twice a year. A friend wanted to fly with DH to AirVenture (Oshkosh) this summer. DH won't go. I've been known to take a vacation or two -- even a three week cruise -- without him. I don't do that any more. I'm too busy working on my successful jewelry business.
Maybe I can't change his situation but I can change mine. I'm trying to buy a compact RV, a Roadtrek. He's pushing back at every turn. I think he fears I will go places in the Roadtrek without him. He's right: I will. I want to visit some manufacturers and vendors I do business with. But I'm beginning to think I won't be allowed to.
My view is that we're married, not lifers doing time in the same cell.
Does it seem that time spent apart enhances the time spent together? Or are you joined at the hip?
In short, do you ever give your spouse a chance to miss you or do you get a chance to miss him/her?
(Please, I'm talking about living spouses only. Thanks.)
In short, do you ever give your spouse a chance to miss you or do you get a chance to miss him/her?
(Please, I'm talking about living spouses only. Thanks.)
Yes, although my wife and I travel extensively together, we also travel separately as well. For example, my wife will be going on a 7-day New England coastal cruise with her cousin in September. Next January, she will be going to Costa Rica for a couple of weeks with a group of friends/former coworkers. And in June 2016, she and a friend will be going to Praiano, Italy for a month or so. And her absences provide me with the opportunity to pursue my hobby/pastime (playing poker) without feeling guilty about devoting so much time to it.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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We don't travel apart very often, but normally at least 2-3 times a year. This year, for example, I was gone for a week to Las Vegas on a business conference. Later this month she will be gone to California for a week to visit family without me.
She will often do a day trip or overnight with friends to Portland. After 41 years we are not getting tired of each other, but still have thopse times when we miss each other.
My whole working life. Once a month I would take one weekend and join with a bunch of guys and gals and we would wear uniforms and do training. Also every year I would take 2 weeks off to do stuff with my unit. It was called annual training. This went on religiously for over 28 years. I even took a 15 month trip overseas without the wife. Of course I would not have wanted her with me as we seemed to be avoiding 7.62mm rounds, RPG's and roadside bombs. It would not have been very fun for her.
I'm really worried about this (assuming we remain married into retirement). We definitely don't see eye to eye about alone time (I love it / need it, my wife? .... not so much ... attachment / separation anxiety issues). If we end up 24 x 7 x 365 or even a significant fraction of that we are going to end up completely hating each other.
My whole working life. Once a month I would take one weekend and join with a bunch of guys and gals and we would wear uniforms and do training. Also every year I would take 2 weeks off to do stuff with my unit. It was called annual training. This went on religiously for over 28 years. I even took a 15 month trip overseas without the wife. Of course I would not have wanted her with me as we seemed to be avoiding 7.62mm rounds, RPG's and roadside bombs. It would not have been very fun for her.
I'm realizing our world has become largely restricted to home in recent years and I hate it. I can't see spending the rest of our lives like this -- only more so -- after we retire.
DH has given up the solo dive trips he used to take with buddies -- they don't want to go, either. He works in a different department now that doesn't require him to travel, whereas previously he might go to the East Coast twice a year. A friend wanted to fly with DH to AirVenture (Oshkosh) this summer. DH won't go. I've been known to take a vacation or two -- even a three week cruise -- without him. I don't do that any more. I'm too busy working on my successful jewelry business.
Maybe I can't change his situation but I can change mine. I'm trying to buy a compact RV, a Roadtrek. He's pushing back at every turn. I think he fears I will go places in the Roadtrek without him. He's right: I will. I want to visit some manufacturers and vendors I do business with. But I'm beginning to think I won't be allowed to.
My view is that we're married, not lifers doing time in the same cell.
Does it seem that time spent apart enhances the time spent together? Or are you joined at the hip?
In short, do you ever give your spouse a chance to miss you or do you get a chance to miss him/her?
(Please, I'm talking about living spouses only. Thanks.)
I don't have any advice for you, but I'm so excited for you and your jewelry business. I make jewelry as an intermittent hobby and that is a far away dream of mine.
I'm realizing our world has become largely restricted to home in recent years and I hate it. I can't see spending the rest of our lives like this -- only more so -- after we retire.
DH has given up the solo dive trips he used to take with buddies -- they don't want to go, either. He works in a different department now that doesn't require him to travel, whereas previously he might go to the East Coast twice a year. A friend wanted to fly with DH to AirVenture (Oshkosh) this summer. DH won't go. I've been known to take a vacation or two -- even a three week cruise -- without him. I don't do that any more. I'm too busy working on my successful jewelry business.
Maybe I can't change his situation but I can change mine. I'm trying to buy a compact RV, a Roadtrek. He's pushing back at every turn. I think he fears I will go places in the Roadtrek without him. He's right: I will. I want to visit some manufacturers and vendors I do business with. But I'm beginning to think I won't be allowed to.
My view is that we're married, not lifers doing time in the same cell.
Does it seem that time spent apart enhances the time spent together? Or are you joined at the hip?
In short, do you ever give your spouse a chance to miss you or do you get a chance to miss him/her?
(Please, I'm talking about living spouses only. Thanks.)
I completely get 'being allowed to'. My B H is the same.
I feel very confined.
He needs medication twice a day that he can't or won't administer.
Mine probably wouldn't miss me, she has a pretty good aim!
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