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I'm way happier as a senior now. I think I was grouchy and more negative in my thirties and forties.
I feel so grateful for all I've been given -- good health, a dear dear husband, financial security, being a woman in America, none of it my doing -- so I don't take it for granted or tend to dwell on negatives much, and feel guilty if I do.
Also, my life is so full of exciting things to do in retirement, I don't have time to waste on complicated judgments and arguments with people or situations.
I'm lucky most of my close friends are happy and positive, so that influences me also.
But I did think of something that can make me cranky -- women who talk incessantly. You'll meet someone in the street or the post office, and they start a non-stop dialog about every detail that's happened since seeing you last. It goes on forever, and I feel grouchy after about twenty minutes trying to get away tactfully. I never noticed this with younger women before retirement. But it seems like a phenomenon with a lot of older women.
My husband notices the same thing happening in older women he meets in the neighborhood and gets stuck with a forty minute run down of way too much boring information.
Lots of lonely older women out there, perhaps living alone, and once they find a sympathetic ear, they talk. Sad but true. It's hard to escape gracefully sometimes.
I gotta tell ya... I remember growing up and seeing the fun old guys and the sweet old ladies. On the other hand we also had the grouchy old men and some of them old ladies, who I swear had moles with big black hairs growing out of 'em. I suppose I've noticed myself becoming a bit more intolerant and stubborn but not thoughtless or hard headed. You know the type... charter members of the *ithch and moan club.
So are some of us becoming the dreaded grumpy old men like Walter Mathau and Jack Lemmon? I see the cynicism in many responses here in this forum and it scares me to think I may become one of "them".
I always liked Ann-Margret
...just sayin'
Depends on each persons outlook.
At this point in peoples lives they often have health issues that cause them discomfort or have life issues that annoy them which are now out of their control. (Not enough money, kids, spouse...the usual.)
I'm 45 but my parents and their peers are 70ish and I hear all the time about how so and so goes on and on about their current illness etc.
I wish eveyone here all the best and that you find something to keep you engaged and excited about life until you run out of days.
Otherwise, you will often just be miserable passing days until it's your time.
Gads, 2 days in a row I was crabby. Out of curiousty I looked at South Carolina as a retirement option. I did mention that I was looking into Senior income based apartments & this snot basically posted that I should look elsewhere. Crossed Charlotte off my list but not before I gave the person a piece of my mind. I never do things like that but this time I did.
Gads, 2 days in a row I was crabby. Out of curiousty I looked at South Carolina as a retirement option. I did mention that I was looking into Senior income based apartments & this snot basically posted that I should look elsewhere. Crossed Charlotte off my list but not before I gave the person a piece of my mind. I never do things like that but this time I did.
Lol, I was looking at both Carolina's. This old age thing has got to stop!
LOL..... we actually want it to continue...... but I get your meaning!!! Have been having some of those problems myself.
I've learned that no matter how innocent the question looks, it's best sometimes (for me anyway) to keep my opinions to myself. I've been getting blasted left and right and I know of at least one person who "unfriended" me. Name of the game, I guess.
I think much of today's nastiness comes from people being drawn to extreme positions be it politics or racism The fact that all can be anonymous on the net doesn't hurt either.
Or, they'll stop in a spot where there's a display so you can't get around. When I was grocery shopping, this was a problem a number of times. Had to raise my voice before they responded & moved. I have to remember to shop more often so I don't push my pain level too high. Then maybe I won't be so crabby. Never thought of using my cane. Hmmm.
............ and why do they walk straight at ya while staring at those stupid phones? Watch where ya goin' for Pete's sake.........
We hit the third stage of life somewhere in our late 40s. "Midlife Crisis" is essentially the darker side of Stage Three.
If we haven't been living our FIRST dreams, a wrecking ball can come through our lives and signal that life is short and it's time to get busy working on our highest goals, hopes, and dreams. That "wrecking ball" doesn't have to hit, but it sure hit me because up to that point, I'd been living my second, third, and even forth choices in life. Here's more about what happens at Midlife that determinds our emotional state in our Senior Years:
"At midlife you have a vast array of experiences from which to draw. These include successes, failures, close calls, peak experiences, black holes, new romances, lost loves, etc. From these experiences it becomes your task to sort through the material to see the patterns so that you may now consciously choose how you wish to proceed from here..."
Quickly thereafter comes the last stage of life that supposedly arrives around age 65.
This is the last stage of life. It's where we look back and tally up the "wins" and "losses" columns and decide if we're happy or not.
If we're satisfied with the "wins" we've had in life, we become the kindly old grandfather and the sweet old wise grandmother.
But if we're NOT... then we become the crusty old geezer or bitter old biddy.
"Of course, this position is quite contingent on the reality that I did what I needed to do in stage three. If that is not the case then a number of scenarios may develop."
"One of these problematic scenarios is the possibility that one becomes quite bitter and angry that life has been unfair to them. They feel robbed and cheated by the very people that supposedly loved them. These people become constant complainers and nothing is ever really right. Life satisfaction is very fleeting and their anger is obvious.
A second scenario is one that defaults to the myriad of thought and positions (complexes) that they held dear to throughout their life whether they were ever expressed or repressed. (Freud proved that repression never works.) These are situations in which our aging parents or grandparents begin exhibiting behaviors that appear on the surface to be very inconsistent with who we saw them as earlier in life.
A third option is to opt for an early out. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "When you cease to make a contribution you begin to die." These are people who can see no more value to themselves than what they did or do. They manifest this in two ways. Either they live in the past and all energy is attached to past accomplishment, or they resign themselves to death and wait to die. We can see the first option in the person who has a few repetitious stories they tell of sometime in their past. What ever you try to discus with them, you end up listening to one of those stories. The second option can be seen in the person who dies shortly after retiring."
The important thing to keep remembering is to avoid getting trapped in, "All or Nothing Thinking."
Keep considering the many possibilities between situations that arise in life.
In the final stage of life, there is really nothing left to prove.
There's still a lot of life that can be lived and we are still held accountable for our actions. We can still do things if we've been flexible about changing our diets and other lifestyle decisions like stopping smoking and exercising.
The Crusty old Geezers and Bitter Old Biddies have no one to blame but themselves.
They owe it to the next generation.. and to their own spiritual condition... NOT to future contaminate the environment with their negativity, pessimisms, and hatreds. That alone can help ease their suffering.
Last edited by veganwriter; 07-13-2015 at 07:10 AM..
Haven't read all the replies, but in mho, As one grows older they have been around this bend before and are feed up, tired, bored or just plain sick of it. Also one must take into consideration how much pain an older person may be experiencing.
Lack of B vitamins can cause bad moods to or maybe I should say help good moods.
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Carl Jung's 4 Stages of Life
