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Interesting thread. My late FIL was the stereotype of the GOM that lost all social tolerance, more and more as he aged. It wasn't pretty. A few years before he passed away, his normal conversation always centered around being tired of always having to eat and being ready to be "slid in" (his grave). Virtually everywhere you went with him the last 3 years, you had to prepare for comments about "those people". He was not like this when I met him 20 odd years before. As his mobility, freedom, and cognitive abilities decreased his intolerance and insults and "I don't give a sheet" attitude increased. During his last hospital stay, one of his nurses was from India. He asked her, in front of everyone "where do you people go to school? Is it taught in English?"!! Later a different nurse was of Asian descent, and whenever she left the room he actually would say "I can talk now that Ching Chang Chung has left"!!! My wife was beside herself!! 10 years earlier, HE would have been the one admonishing anyone that spome like that. He died less than a week later, at 89. When my wife apologized to the nurses afterwards, ahe said they see this behavior all the time and know its not the real person, but the loss of brain function talking.
I am dismayed to hear the tale. I've got one of my own.
One of my sons was premature. We were in the Adirondacks hiking - I went into labor.
Four hours later, in our local hospital. I had NEVER been in this kind of pain. I told every sentient professional-looking person in that place that something was not right.
It took screaming and naming my (Tier I) attorney to get the attention I knew was required. Footling breach, baby's vitals were not good. Emergency C-section. I had demanded - yes, DEMANDED - local anesthesia because I did not trust these on-call yahoos. Some docs from "developing world" cultures are arrogant and dismissive - their hapless mothers, I guess, got them used to being worshipped. What the heck - even today, outside of the top caste, the wives are burned if Master dies. Masters consequently become vindictive if their egos are bruised - likely the first time in their lives it has ever happened.
I was nearly delirious with pain. I wanted to make sure I was awake and in full control of my senses in order to bear witness to the impending doom. After the fact.
I was wheeled into emergency surgery and they all filed in. I looked each one straight in the eye and stated (well, shrieked) "I want a record of every person authorized to be in this room. I want documentation about where each of you went to medical school, when you were Board-certified in the United States, and your litigation history".
Baby came out OK, I got septicemia. I am convinced it was attributable to one or more of the "developing world" docs not washing his hands. Even under exigent circumstances, you can't get away with unsterilized instruments - too many eyes on the fact pattern. Contaminating the theater with unwashed hands? That's another matter.
Intractable pain makes all of us behave without political correctness. In some cases, failures in political correctness are warranted, since there is no accountability. I have witnessed Haitian nurses pinching nursing home patients - hard - for their perceived over-use of the "help" button.
I hope your late FIL was not in that kind of pain. If he was, and you judge him based on the actions arising from the pain, I suggest that you re-examine from a different perspective. You do not know both sides of the story.
Or...they could be in pain. I have to take pain pills for my back, but can't or don't take them if I'm going to be doing any driving. Yesterday I went grocery shopping & I needed a lot as I had not been shopping for awhile.
When I was finally checking our, I unfortunately chose a lane with a younger female. Even though I was in a motorized cart, she still was overloading the bags. I'd asked her to call for a carry out & he was helping. When I gave her my bags to fill, she started filling them with the heaviest items. I said, how do you suppose I'm going to lift those? Then she was putting the fruits & vegs in my freezer bag. Again I made her take those out & put in the freezer food.
Never again will I get in line when the cashier is young!
So... we covered the grumpy part but what about the nice old guy and the sweet old lady. Are they extinct? My wife will eventually be one of those sweet old ladies, but right now she ain't old (56)... hot yes, but not old.
Me... well I probably am less concerned with as much as I usta be. Care about the important stuff and increasing indifferent about trivial meaningless stuff. I'm just more content these days.
When you get old, you've had a lifetime of exposure to the full range of muppetry exhibited by humanity and you're just about sick and tired of it. If I see one more mutt stopped dead in some kind of pedestrian traffic choke point such as just past a turnstile, or right outside an elevator door, staring at his smart phone in a facebook trance, I'm going to pistol whip him with my cane and beat him about the head and shoulders, then plead senility to the judge.
IMHO; many spend their working life's compromising in order to get along in society then once retired they become more independent and it shows. Just being grouchy is much different than more out spoken. But I say if you look society over the years has become more suppressive of individual opinion. But if you look closely younger people have become more not just angry but down right more violent in their views.
Absolutely, when you're working in the corporate world or dealing with customers or your kids are in school you have to put up with a certain amount of BS just to get along. Once those obligations are eliminated then the requirement for putting up with stuff is vastly decreased. I'm not sure that is being grouchy or mean spirited, it just means you don't have to suffer fools any more.
So... we covered the grumpy part but what about the nice old guy and the sweet old lady. Are they extinct?
No, they are not extinct. I have a number of kind, sweet and nice older friends both male and female.
Although I had cited a study explaining why some elderlies are grumpies, I think they are the outliers and not the norm. Some of them may also be temporarily cranky due to circumstances (poor health, in financial or relationship difficulties, under the effect of medication etc).
My personal observations of our elderly parents were that they did become more depressed, tended to ruminate and dwell on negative life experience, memories etc in their late 70's and 80's especially after suffering mini strokes and/or more serious health issues.
I also have to question the trend of overprescribing of medications. Many drugs have side effects on the minds and the effect of drug interactions are not well studied or well known.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave_n-Tenn
Me... well I probably am less concerned with as much as I usta be. Care about the important stuff and increasing indifferent about trivial meaningless stuff. I'm just more content these days.
I am with you. I have become mellower and more contented with old age. Life is too short to waste on anger, argument, resentment, complaint and grumpiness.
I am doing the best that I can to stay strong, healthy, using as little medications as possible. The only med that I am on is 20 mg of simvastatin a day. I quit using it for 2 years fearing that it might have had an effect on my blood sugar but resuming the usage after finding that I could control my BS with diet and exercise. I had try to do the same with cholesterol but could only bring up HDL level and could not lower the total cholesterol number without simvastatin.
When you get old, you've had a lifetime of exposure to the full range of muppetry exhibited by humanity and you're just about sick and tired of it. If I see one more mutt stopped dead in some kind of pedestrian traffic choke point such as just past a turnstile, or right outside an elevator door, staring at his smart phone in a facebook trance, I'm going to pistol whip him with my cane and beat him about the head and shoulders, then plead senility to the judge.
Ain't it the truth!? People without smart phones do this as well. I see it most often at the grocery store. The automatic doors swing open and here you are in the lobby. (Where they keep all the carts) I don't usually have to stop here, having brought one of the "abandoned" carts with me from the parking lot. (I don't know why everybody doesn't do this - aren't you going to want a cart when you get inside?) Well, anyway, now we go through the next set of automatic doors only to find that someone has halted right there to look for their list/coupons/tissue or whatever.
High Iron, may I borrow your cane for a minute? Thanks.
Ain't it the truth!? People without smart phones do this as well. I see it most often at the grocery store. The automatic doors swing open and here you are in the lobby. (Where they keep all the carts) I don't usually have to stop here, having brought one of the "abandoned" carts with me from the parking lot. (I don't know why everybody doesn't do this - aren't you going to want a cart when you get inside?) Well, anyway, now we go through the next set of automatic doors only to find that someone has halted right there to look for their list/coupons/tissue or whatever.
High Iron, may I borrow your cane for a minute? Thanks.
Of course, madam. *tips hat chaplin style*
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