On Living a Really Long Time (New York Times) (move, spouse, community)

[brightdoglover]

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/15/bu...irementspecial

This relates to the poll taken on the forum about what age people might like to live to. I am picturing myself living that long, and my image is that I live in a (good) continuing care retirement community- one that is genuinely community, if that's possible. I don't have to drive (probably can't by then), don't have to do cooking in order to eat well, have exercise and swim facilities on campus. My mind is still good (I am low risk for dementia) and I am not isolated in my woods dream house.

Now, I know that a lot of my sense of isolation is subjective, not geographic, and I am just starting to work on that for real. But as someone without relatives of origin (when my 90-year-old aunt is gone) and no children/spouse, I don't think the losses of aging will strike me the same way they might strike people who have lived in conjunction with others for so many years, and then lose them.

In October, I'm going up to Vermont for a couple of days to check out a CCRC. Again, I'm only 62 and working full-time and living in my dream house outside Boston, so there's no rush. But there is longevity in my genes on both sides, I should have the resources to live decently/well for a long time or in a CCRC. As long as I have some nature around and can read and think, I don't think I'd mind a long life. It seems to be taking me my whole life to deal with the real issues in it, so more time might equal more insight, and maybe more useful insight, at that.

[newcomputer]

I liked this part :

"In fact, people 95 and older report higher levels of satisfaction with life than those who are decades younger, Professor Jopp said. She speculates that people in their 60s and 70s have not yet fully adapted to their impairments, whereas the very old have reached a state of acceptance."

I've always thought of the 70s as the difficult years, and that if you make it through the 70s relatively unscathed, the rest should be gravy.

Reaching "a state of acceptance" sounds good to me.


boogie'smom

[ReachTheBeach]

I think this sums up the mixed feelings best:

There is a paradox in the desire to live longer, she said. Many people want to reach an advanced age, but they do not actually want to be that old, she said.

[yellowsnow]

I have my doubts about the community thing. In senior housing, the oldest usually feel less of a sense of community because most of their contemporaries are gone. The cycle is 20 years + or -. The old folks are gone and new old folks move in.

[brightdoglover]

I fear you're right. Keep younger friends!

[ReachTheBeach]

Originally Posted by yellowsnow

I have my doubts about the community thing. In senior housing, the oldest usually feel less of a sense of community because most of their contemporaries are gone. The cycle is 20 years + or -. The old folks are gone and new old folks move in.

I don't see this so much in the ones I have visited, at least not if the residents have some activity. There is the knitting table and the cards table (examples; there are often others) and different faces come and go but the new 65 year old doesn't refuse to play cards with the 87 year old or visa versa.