Retirees: Do you prefer being single or married (or involved with someone)?

[Larry Siegel]

Originally Posted by NYgal2NC

Where are you getting your numbers from?

Nowhere. I've spoken to perhaps 2000 people in my lifetime at a level where I might have some idea how many times they've fallen in love. Almost everyone says between one and five. By far the most commonly heard number is two.

[BellaDL]

Originally Posted by Larry Siegel

Nowhere. I've spoken to perhaps 2000 people in my lifetime at a level where I might have some idea how many times they've fallen in love. Almost everyone says between one and five. By far the most commonly heard number is two.

Larry,

One of the survey of 2000 people got the same average number of 2 as your experience


Falling In Love Only Happens So Many Times, Says Survey

Siemens Festival Nights interviewed 2,000 people about their romantic and sexual histories. On average, respondents had fallen head-over-heels in love just twice

The interesting result of this survey is this part

One out of seven participants didn't think the person they were currently dating was the "love of their life." Of those one in seven, 73 percent reported that they "made do" with their partner after "true love" slipped through their fingers. Additionally, being in a relationship with someone who isn't their "true love" apparently doesn't stop people from continuing to look for the real thing. Seventeen percent of the adults polled said they had met the love of their life since getting together with their current partner.

This article mentioned that this finding contradicts the result of a previous research. However, the link to the previous is broken.

Previous research contradicts this study's findings -- a 2012 poll, again of 2,000 adults, found that the average person fell in love four times in their life.

To understand the reason for the contradiction, one would need to analyze and compare the questionaires of the two studies. It is often that the way the questions are phrased influences the responses. Other possible reasons for the discrepancy are 1) the polls were for with different groups of people (young, old or random; urban, rural or random etc.) and 2) where and how the polls were conducted (magazine? online? landline vs cellphone etc.).

The average number of these 2 surveys is 3 which is still a very limited number.

For me, I have fallen in love and married only once. It was not love at first sight with my husband. We were co-workers and friends for a while before dating. I was terrified on the way to the altar (was supported in both arms by my parents) . The wedding vow "for better or for worse, in sickness or in health etc." scared the heck out of me. I was thinking "Oh my gosh, what I am getting in now? Can I really honor this vow for the rest of life?" so it took at least a minute or two (which was like eternity to my husband) for me to say I do

I think I am way too left brained and have always prided myself for being logical, analytical, and objective. This tendency had probably protected me from making foolish relationship choice. I just hope that in my later years, if something happens to my husband, I would not throw all caution to the wind and decide to have a torrid love affair to compensate for my 'boring' youth ;-)

[ReachTheBeach]

Both of the two I fell hardest for when I was single were not interested in settling down. I don't think that was random chance. I think I changed what/who I was looking for. I don't think it is all chemistry and magic. I did not settle for my wife (some times I think she did for me) but she is different than what I first thought I wanted in a soul mate.

[johngolf]

Bella

You said:

I just hope that in my later years, if something happens to my husband, I would not throw all caution to the wind and decide to have a torrid love affair to compensate for my 'boring' youth ;-)
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[Curmudgeon]

Originally Posted by johngolf

For years I always said I would re-marry. Even my wife said I would. I have changed my mind do to the fact that I have been helping my wife thru a long term illness and I could never do the same for anyone else. Thus my answer is I would stay single (widowed). I would not re-marry.

I can identify with this. Thirteen years total, the last four intense. I'm burned out on that and like you, could never do the same for anyone else. By the same token, successful relationships are hard work. I'm burned out on those as well. Single is looking real good now!