Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The question which I took the liberty of bolding above is a terribly sick and twisted version of what ought to be reality, namely that we are always living. I never stopped living and so I did not need to "start" living. Here are some of the things I did in my spare time and vacation time while still working full time:
1. Enjoyed the life of the mind with extensive reading, reading not required by my job.
2. Enjoyed traveling.
3. Learned to fly private airplanes, probably the greatest adventure I will ever have.
4. Took up bicycling and became wonderfully fit - a joy in and of itself. Ex-wife and I rode from Seattle to Los Angeles.
5. Took up motorcycling after bicycling and had great adventures with that.
The above list does not even include the gratifying aspects of my full-time career itself. Sure, there were also frustrating and stressful aspects, but I look back with satisfaction on the contributions I was able to make.
Working is not separate from life, but is part of it. As Khalil Gibran wrote, "Work is love made visible".
I find it inexpressibly sad that some people seem to feel as if they will only start "living" when they retire. What a tragic waste of the better part of a lifetime.
Once again, ER, you get it right! Aside from having more time to garden and travel, I intend to just keep on doing what I've been doing.
IHMO, it is more important to face the reality of our own mortality, and reconsider our relationship with God. No matter how long or healthy we are, life in this world is temporary, and what comes after is a much longer time,
At what age or point in your life did it hit that it's time to start living? Everyday as we go out in the world we see young vibrant people and old people. Once we were young and now on the fast track to old. Hey with all things being as they should many will reach old age which brings along old age issues. Which is why I just don't get it when people look to retire in upper ages. Instead of a retirement date why not a freedom date? Work if you want to.
Two points.
Age 48. That would be when my first wife left and after a period of mourning I finally asked myself why I was doing that and decided to start living.
Age 61. I admitted to myself that I no longer enjoyed my profession or even just working at all and decided to retire six months hence, two years earlier than originally planned.
That wouldn't have bothered me at all, because the whole town would have shut down before the 4th inch fell.
I had no choice. I am army national guard. I had to go to work. That was the difference. Still even if I had not had to work that day you still need to clear that snow to get out there or to allow fire trucks or emergency vehicles to the house if one was needed. So eventually and you cannot go long without clearing the area. I just knew at that point I would not be 70+ years old like my dad out there shoveling snow every winter.
I don't think the OP wasn't living his life before age 55, I just think he had an "Aha Moment" to live his life differently. Work limits your activities, so you have to "work" living around your job (not referring to those who love to work). Once retired, many more opportunities open up to you. For instance, we've planned several trips in retirement (want to be gone longer than a job would allow), with the idea of spreading them out over the years. Well, in our mid-50's, we realized we aren't as mobile as we once were and we'll likely be less mobile in our 70's and 80's, so now we're planning on doing most of the travelling in our 60's. If it turns out we're still mobile in our 70's and funds are available, we can continue to travel. That aha moment hit us around age 55-57. Before then, we never thought about it because mobility wasn't an issue in our 30's and 40's.
....
Doing volunteer work directly with people who need help; I work with a volunteer caregiver organization and when you work with people you spend one on one time helping them. It's hard to explain, but it gave me a different perspective. Poor people in subsidized housing have names and stories; most are just trying to get by the best they can.
I had a similar experience. The work I volunteered for was with seriously ill people. I still do not know if it was the other things that were coming together that prompted me, or if volunteering was the catalyst that made other things start coming together full steam. In the end, I guess, it doesn't matter. The experience lasted eight years and by the end of it the changes in my life and views were huge.
It's the opposite for me (for now). I lived a very full life in my 20s. Full to bursting. Once I got married at age 27 and had kids in my 30s, it was finally time to slow down and smell the roses. My current job can be included in that - I have a good work/life balance at the moment with a boss who truly appreciates the work I do and gives me lots of perks as a result.
Obviously that might change once my kids are grown and retirement is fast approaching, but for now, I like my quiet life.
Well anything's conceivable but that's a far-fetched scenario. I personally have never known a vibrant young woman with dollar signs in her eyes to that extent. I'll grant they exist here and there. Maybe it's a CA thing?
When I was a vibrant 25-year-old, I was head over heels in love with a 44-year-old. Our relationship lasted several years. Even so, 40s was pushing it, and I would have viewed any man in his 50s, much less his 60s, to be decrepit. Huge ick factor, I can't imagine how many dollars it would have taken to overcome that.
edit to add: Basically it's the difference between having a "father" complex, which is common and I likely had, and a "grandfather" complex. What vibrant young woman is willing to sleep with her grandfather?
What you describe was a common arrangement re civil war veterans around the turn of the 20th century. Both parties did profit. That was in the days when young women didn't have a chance at a job, much less a career. We've come a long way since then but obviously not nearly far enough.
What often gets lost in these younger-woman/older-man scenarios is the fact that not all 25-year-old women are hot and sexy and highly sought after. The older guy is, of course, older and less physically desirable yet he still wants a young, hot wife or girlfriend. But just because a person is young (in this case a female) does not automatically mean she is going to be a knockout or some supermodel type. Of course the older guy is rich or has money or whatever to compensate for his lack of physical desirability. But simply being young does not make someone hot.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Aside from having more time to garden and travel, I intend to just keep on doing what I've been doing.
