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Some people have stereotypical midlife crises. One of my uncles is a very high income earner and got tired of his wife of fifteen years (who was fifteen years younger than him) when he was about 55. He got a dog, and started seeing the dog's trainer (who is the same age as his former wife, but a knock out), and married her. Since 2011, he's been married to two different women, kicked the third wife out a few times, bought two homes, bought a Porsche (since sold at third wife's direction), took a $50k hit on a boat, generally drifting from crisis to crisis.
Did you have this kind of thing crop up in your 40s or 50s?
Mine lasted for 20 years (37-57), a lot of great memories! Finally settled down again with a Wife 28 years my Junior, a 10 year old Son and a 5 month old Son. Life just keeps getting better!
I didn't, but perhaps I escaped through sheer luck. Right at the point the OP is talking about I got hit with three really big blows in my life, but they were all as the result of things beyond my control and not set in motion by anything I did. Thus, during this usual mid-life crisis time I was dealing with these three things and there was no time or energy left for any identity crisis welling up from inside.
I didn't but I felt the urge pretty strongly. It was about dreams I had to give up in order to stay the course with home and family. There were some dark days teetering on whether or not to make a move but we weathered the storm. What kept me hanging in was the realization that all these dreams are like movies in my head and my favorites do change over time; one of the things I was sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing doesn't hold that much interest for me now. I also had to remind myself that some of my favorites involved my family and if I chased a different dream I would likely crush all those.
Last edited by ReachTheBeach; 09-08-2015 at 10:39 AM..
Coming up on 56....wife is a few years younger (not saying....I know better)...dated for 11 years, married 25. My Mid-Life Crisis would be her leaving me, other than that, I'm extremely content and wouldn't change a thing....she's what keeps me going....can't break this bond if you tried.
my midlife crisis was in my mid-30s when the marriage I was in (14 years marriage) fell apart and we divorced. I became very ill and started going to therapy to address the problems in the marriage. He declined to participate in therapy, I was unwilling to stay in an abusive marriage, we divorced. This literally saved my life.
I would say that was his mid-life crisis too. his response to the divorce was to buy a convertible and marry wife #2 who would not ask him to go to therapy.
We got our sh*t together and realized how much we loved each other. Like in our case, I think a mid-life crisis or tramatic event makes you realize just how precious your relationship/marriage/partner/spouse is.
We just had our 37th anniversary. We both learned painful lessons, but we are now very happy and always planning for the future together.
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