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Someone else above mentioned that love is more important than money. I tend to believe that.
But it's not that simple. We don't know their financial situation. If they're in the red each month because he doesn't have a job that's not good. The #1 cause of divorce is fights over money...so I'm not even sure love is more important than money, as much as I wish it were true.
Tell your wife how you feel and see what she says. But your not talking 6 months or a year. 7 years is a huge chunk of your and her life. Who cares about retiring if your divorced? And if you think you have money problems now get divorced and you'll never be able to retire from a financial perspective.
Life is short and can change drastically in a short period of time. Your basically asking if your work is more important than your marriage.
Lost my job as an electrical engineer 9 months ago ,gone to several interview but noting.
Graduated from top colleges and worked for top us firms for 30 years. Turning 58 in a month which does not help. After 9 excruciatingly painful month I finally landed a good six figure job which are so hard to find and doing the the kind of work i like to do.
The problem is wife can not come with me and we both love each other dearly. In my new job I would live in a tiny studio and drive 5 hours home every other weekend to spend a full day with her, our relationship is very solid but we will only see each other 26 days plus xmass and holidays until I get close to retirement,
This effort will barely get us to where we need to be financially for retirement, BUT it is going to feel like a jail sentence, on the other hand there are no engineering jobs where I live and I am overqualified for all the other jobs in the area, I could try to stay home and sell health insurance,
Please, what should I do I amtorn
Do it.
When I was 55 circumstances had my wife and I living apart for 20 months and my commute distance was 800 miles each way.
It wasn't easy but it actually made us stronger. For 20 months I made it home every three day weekend without fail and there were a number of weekends where I would leave work early on Friday, maybe 2:00 in the afternoon, drive the 12 hours to get home and spend all day Saturday with her. Sunday morning was church and after church I would leave again.
Of course we talked on the phone every day and sometimes several times in a day and always just before going to bed.
Some are right, you haven't given us enough to go on for accurate advice.
My spouse and I are also joined at the hip, so to speak, WHen I have been in the hospital, for instance, MOH {My Other Half} and I pine for each other and MOH is there every chance possible. Heck we pine ofr each other while one is away for work. So I understand your frustration!
WHAT, exactly, is keeping the wife away from you if you take/have taken the job? The employer won't allow it?
WHY can't she move with you? Is She ill? tending family? WON'T GO? You own a home you can't sell in this market?
WHY is it only one day every what, other weekend? FOR only a Day? They work you 14 days in a row and then give you only 1 day off? {if they do, that is by law- an employer can not work an employee more than 14 days in a row without a full day off.}
You are right, 58 is not the best age for finding a job. TAKE IT, especially since it is what, 6 figures?
If your love is as strong as you say, it WILL survive, Give the job at least 6 months to a year to find out to manage things on your own in this situation. SAVE SAVE SAVE as much as possible to add to the retirement or job search fund.
You are 58? Can you/your wife/your marriage last another 5-6 years until you are 63 or 64? {retiring more or less after age 62?} then take it, and SOCK AWAY at least $50K/yr if you can live on the other $50k or so. That will, in 6 years, give you another $300K in the bank!!!
So, if your marriage lasts another 5-6 years, then I'dd say go for it.
If the wife is well enough and able to, perhaps SHE can drive the 5 hours to meet you on the opposite weekends, and stay in a hotel/motel nearby.
THERE ARE solutions, seek them out, rattle your brain, and MAKE them work!
Best of luck to you!
If there is only the two of you and your new job is as good as you say, you should have no trouble living together in your new location, even if she has no income. To me it would be an easy call.
There is a saying that the two most important things in life are love, health and money -- any two will do, and make up for the shortfall in the third one. You've got love and health -- don't be too greedy..
My parents had that arrangement for a number of years when he was in his 50s. Based in DC, but he traveled 5 days a week doing contract work for his company. He'd fly home Friday night and fly out first thing Monday morning. The only difference was the company paid for his short-term rental in his contract city. He did not have to pay out of his own pocket for that. They also covered his flights. He did that for at least 4-5 years before his contract ended and the new one was based locally.
It worked well for them - but they have a very strong marriage. My mom got used to being on her own schedule M-F, and their relationship actually bloomed on the weekends because it was almost like they were dating again. Absence truly made their hearts grow fonder.
However, he flew home every weekend - not every other weekend. That would have been harder on my mom, for sure.
Consider asking if they'd be willing to let you fly home every weekend instead of making you drive. Between mileage and airfare, it may end up being about the same anyway...
Nine months is a long time to be without a job, especially at your age. You must take the job and work out the details later.
You and your wife can pretend you are just dating again. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", you know.
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