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Lost my job as an electrical engineer 9 months ago ,gone to several interview but noting.
Graduated from top colleges and worked for top us firms for 30 years. Turning 58 in a month which does not help. After 9 excruciatingly painful month I finally landed a good six figure job which are so hard to find and doing the the kind of work i like to do.
The problem is wife can not come with me and we both love each other dearly. In my new job I would live in a tiny studio and drive 5 hours home every other weekend to spend a full day with her, our relationship is very solid but we will only see each other 26 days plus xmass and holidays until I get close to retirement,
This effort will barely get us to where we need to be financially for retirement, BUT it is going to feel like a jail sentence, on the other hand there are no engineering jobs where I live and I am overqualified for all the other jobs in the area, I could try to stay home and sell health insurance,
What state did you leave??? What state are you working in now???
Depending on the answers to those questions, it is possible your wife could quit her job (if she works) to move near you and collect unemployment benefits until she gets situated..
On its face, four to nine years of this type of living arrangement isn't healthy for any marriage - or the happiness of either of you - and probably not sustainable.
That said, the years preceding retirement are VERY important for asset accumulation and credits toward SS benefits for the years you won't be working. Those considerations cannot be overstated and should not be ignored. MONEY is very important.
You won't make any money approaching your salary and benefits 'selling' health insurance. Going to virtually no salary at this point in your life is tantamount to throwing a gutter ball in the middle of the game following a series of strikes. The cumulative financial effect is significant.
But, again, where are you living now? What state did you leave?
Last edited by Ariadne22; 09-15-2015 at 11:20 PM..
FL doesn't have trailing spouse benefits except for military personnel. Further, FL's unemployment benefit is only $275/wk for about 14 weeks. Not much of a financial help, at all. But, point is moot because your situation doesn't qualify.
Good paying jobs in FL aren't all that easy to come by, from what we've heard on this Forum, either.
At your age, securing a well-paying job in your profession doesn't happen easily, anymore, as you've learned. So, do your best to figure out a way to keep it - or find another similar closer to home. Your final working years are REALLY important for a secure retirement.
Meanwhile, I will ask mod to move this thread over to the Retirement Forum. Some of the older members there may have other constructive suggestions.
Lost my job as an electrical engineer 9 months ago.
Turning 58 in a month which does not help. After 9 excruciatingly painful month I finally landed a good six figure job which are so hard to find and doing the the kind of work i like to do.
The problem is wife can not come with me and we both love each other dearly. In my new job I would live in a tiny studio and drive 5 hours home every other weekend
I have several friends who have had 'commuting' marriages. One of them drive 7 hours each way every weekend to see his wife and young son (for 5 years). Another friend with husband commutes 2 hrs each way to see her and her son for many years. Another friend flies from NY to NC every weekend to see his family. BTW, these families are very solid and seem to be very happy.
The fact that you are 58 years old and it took 9 months to land a job clearly shows that it is very difficult if not impossible for you to find a job in the town where your wife must stay (for whatever reason).
If you need to build up some saving for retirement, the sacrifice of not seeing your wife every day for few years maybe worth it.
Could you shorten the commuting time by flying? I'd think that the cost of flying should not be a big part of your earned income.
You could try to work at the new job for a while until a more amenable solution is found: You may be able to find a job closer to your wife or your wife can figure out how to be able to move closer to you.
Another option is to see if you can telecommute part time in your job. You may not be able to do it right away but after you have established in the new job and proved yourself, there may be some part of your work that you can do from home through the internet. My sister is a patent lawyer and telecommuted 2 days a week while she was living in CT and worked in MA. I have a colleague who moved from Vermont to Portland Oregon because of his wife's new job. He is now working 100% through telecommunication.
If you're not in a position to retire now definitely work until you can retire. Sure it's like a jail sentence but for many people they have to serve their time until they have enough to be free. I think your wife would appreciate your sacrifice now to have good times in the future when you retire with enough money.
Tough decision and one you have to make. I would suggest you take the job but if I was in your place (and knowing all the details) I might not.
Where I worked we had an employee who lived in Fl and comunited to PA each week. He had flexibility and arrived late on Monday morning and left Friday afternoon. He did not have to be in the office all the time to get his job done. Maybe over time you will be able to work out some flexibility in hours. Work 10 hour days, work 6 days one week and 4 days the next. Maybe you can take vacation time one day at a time and that would give you some 3 day weekends. Maybe a half day vacation Monday morning and drive home after 5 on Friday. That gives you 2 days. You also have some holidays.
As I said I think I would go for the job with the idea that you are going to try and get some flexibility in work time.
I know of one Co President who would not give an inch on an item like this and another one that let employees move half way around the world with a spouce for a few months. You probably will not know which type you have until you take the job and prove your worth.
Maybe your wife could get some flexibility and drive to your place on some weekends.
Good luck.
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