Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Meo, "tough" does not begin to describe it, lol! - I do clean up well when I'm in public, though.
I did not read OP's post as a request for soothing "there-theres". As with my read of the fact pattern, it is possible that I did not read her request correctly.
It is written that a signature characteristic of clinical depression is rumination. Being stuck in one train of thought, to the exclusion of others. "Being stuck" is at the neural pathway level.
There are alternatives to being stuck. OP is positioned well to ( - let's say ) substitute cash for elbow grease, which makes moving a realistic alternative to staying. Had she had few resources, she'd have to do everything herself, piece by piece. An ideal scenario for remaining stuck. OP could ( - let's say) default to Plan B: drive to CO in a used RV. Live in it until she got situated. Assuming OP planned it out 1-2-3-4-5 and took the first couple of steps, momentum would take over.
Having resources, OP can minimize "startup friction" and go.
From my observation, depression is a disease that says "yes but" to every attempt to undo the chokehold. It's a victory over the disease every time one takes a step out of the puppy box.
I think I just heard the Hallelujah Chorus for this!
I find moving to be refreshing, a clean slate! This said, I've only known depression as occasional situational depression, and during those times I can't even pack myself a lunch let alone pack up my whole house. I also make bad decisions during these times. I say go for it so long as you have a well thought out plan and the energy to follow through. Best of luck.
I recently moved to Denver from Nashville hoping the sun would improve my mood. In certain ways it has but ending a 3 year relationship a couple weeks ago has certainly had it's negative effects on my mood. I am liking a lot about this place but I do still feel quite alone at times. It's nice when people are in town for a visit but each time I remember that they are only around temporarily before they go back home.
Make connections in a new place through meetup.com
I joined two groups, drawing and chamber music concertgoers, just getting started going to the events and expect to meet some people with my interests. Connections, relationships...
That's a good idea Riverbird. Another thing I thought of, how about visiting &/or checking into the places our CD friends have retired to & we'd have a built-in guide? That's what Knoxgarden was doing for me & since she's gone, I find myself thinking of other places.
I trust our CD partners to help us look at their spaces, where they have found peace & contentment.
That's a good idea Riverbird. Another thing I thought of, how about visiting &/or checking into the places our CD friends have retired to & we'd have a built-in guide? That's what Knoxgarden was doing for me & since she's gone, I find myself thinking of other places.
I trust our CD partners to help us look at their spaces, where they have found peace & contentment.
I'd be happy to, but nobody wants to move up here, lol.
A couple of posters on the long sticky discussion about moving alone mentioned depression, and I wanted to possibly start a discussion about that situation. I don't mean a situational depression following, say, widowhood or having trouble adjusting to changes of retirement. I do refer to people who have long-term wrestling matches with what Winston Churchill called "The Black Dog."
I do think that those of us with ongoing depression issues have long ago learned about the "geographic fix," that is, a new place does not make us a new person. I also think it can be harder to plan a move with the nagging mood disorder either active or knowing it lies in wait to pounce again.
I am actively planning to move in retirement to a small town I've visited many times, in 3 1/2 years. I worry about the amount of initiative it will take to do so, whether my nagging low moods will interfere, whether I am asking too much of a new location or just enough.
I mean, I'm going to live somewhere with this nagging PIA. I don't think moving will cure it but I (currently) feel like I want the adventure and presumed satisfaction of the new place versus my safe and current life, and the stale life I imagine in retirement if I don't make the change. Then I worry that all I'll do is wreck whatever stale/stability I've established, get depressed and be stranded in the new place. Etc.
So this goes way beyond a question of, should I go to this place or that place, whether alone or with company. It's considering going to a new place with ongoing issues of depession.
I would look for a large over 55 community with lots of activities. If you can move into a new area as more of your neighbors will be trying to make new friends. Join clubs, go to the pool, walk around the block to meet new people etc. The large community will have many options and you have to force yourself to do something every day.
Good luck.
PS I would not move to a small town. I grew up in one and you might find it hard to make friends as an "outsider"
So this goes way beyond a question of, should I go to this place or that place, whether alone or with company. It's considering going to a new place with ongoing issues of depession.
People with depression have a tendency to withdraw.
What better excuse to withdraw than in an new town where everything is "scary" because you're new.
You'd do well to have a support network in place before moving, and develop some kind of plan so that you don't remain isolated.
I have already made some contacts and possible friends there. I will be vacationing there three more times before moving, and you always meet people when building a house, which I'll be having done before I move. I have the plan to volunteer at two or three places once I get settled, and now am thinking maybe I should work part-time (VERY part-time) until I get a handle on expenses and income. There is likely work in my professional area about 45 miles away.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
