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There is quite a variety of retired people with all kinds of financial/living situations represented here in the retirement thread. It is interesting reading for the most part. Sadly, I do fall into the category of envying those who have more and I am trying to overcome that flaw.
For me, my retirement money is pretty much going to be the same till I die. No big prospects in sight, no rich husbands, no lotteries won. Sure, I know, things happen, life can change. But I am trying to be realistic and stay in "today." And for me there is no good reason for trying to justify or explain why I fall into this group. What is done, is done. Can't go backwards.
But I want a happy life. Staying with the "if-only mindset" will not give me that. I would just brood more and more and constantly compare what the have-nots don't have vs. what the "haves" have.
The reality for me is I won't be moving. It costs money I don't have and I don't wish to add to my debt. I won't take grand trips.
I have to remember what I can do. And when I think about that, I am actually able to do some nice things. I'm visiting my nephew in VT this weekend. I'm so excited about that. I enjoy him and his wife (their kids are out of state right now), they live in a beautiful area and easily can visit Burlington (25 miles south of where they live). He has apparently made good recovery from his recent surgery.
I just started volunteering at our local SPCA. I think my heart will be broken for a while, maybe forever, but if I can bring any love to any of those animals, if only for a brief time while I'm there, then I will feel I did something worthwhile. But as most people know, there is a lot more to working at the SPCA than playing with the animals. There are dishes to be done. Laundry to be done. Litter boxes to be emptied, washed, dried, re-filled, grooming, nail clipping, etc. I'm primarily interested in working with the cat population, so do not anticipate working with the dogs, but there are a lot of people who are only interested in working with them.
So I think I am trying to say it's all about attitude. When life hands you lemons.... make lemonade. Many years ago during a class for problem solving when I worked at Carrier, I happened to say that. Some 20 years later, I ran into a guy who was in that class with me and he thanked me for having said that. It really stuck with him. What a great feeling to know something I said actually helped him.
So nice to hear from someone who helps out at the SPCA. FWIW, I send you money every month to help the little critters out. I've increased my monthly commitment 3 times, every time that commercial comes on with their sad eyes. One of my retirement plans is to volunteer for them as well. It will probably break my heart too. Thanks for all you do. Your life is richer than you think.
I think retirement mindset needs to start WAY ahead of actual retirement. You need to have a life--with interests, hobbies, passions--not just be a worker drone one day and not the next.
I feel sorry for people who define themselves almost strictly by their jobs or work. These are the people who get bored in retirement and feel adrift without some sort of imposed structure.
Now get out there now and find something you'll want to do more of, when you have less or no "work"!
Well said and I'm going to keep this post for future reference.
Yes, and retirement can mean the end of a working career, whether it was satisfactory or not, and the beginning of a new "life work" in an entirely different occupation or just working at what you want, when you want, if you want. I think the "if you want" is the key.
I don't know why you were amazed. Either they were interested in you as a person in a friendly way and therefore were curious if you had any particular plans to pursue, or they were among those people who had no life outside of their jobs and can't quite imagine what people actually do with their time after they retire and so they were trying to satisfy their curiosity.
There is nothing wrong with not having any immediate goals to pursue or plans to fulfill. In that case you could have responded to them, "Well I am going to smell the flowers for a while and de-stress, then I'll see what happens." That would have been an honest and legitimate but friendly answer.
Or on the other hand, if you did have something in mind, you could have responded, "I've always wanted to have the time to ____________ (fill in the blank with any one of hundreds of things)."
There seems to be some resentment and hostility toward the question posed to you by your co-workers, whereas I find it a very natural question. Why do you suppose you reacted the way you did (with amazement)?
I found when I was approaching retirement and counting the days, every coworker who asked me about it strongly expressed the wish that they too were retiring. The prevailing attitude I got was one of best wishes and "I wish I were there too."
If one needs ideas, there is good book: What Color Is Your Parachute In Retirement
Richard Bolles was a friend of one of my employers and I read his book and met him in the late 70's. His book transformed my life and helped to make us the success we are today. The down side has been this workaholic mentality that has been difficult to control. I left my job over two months ago and that urge to earn is still with me from time to time. I am so much happier without the stress of a high octane job that left me drained both physically and emotionally. The days are mine now and life takes me where ever the wind blows. I panicked and renewed my license this week. John said you're going back to work aren't you? I simply don't know. There are days I say no way and there are days when I get depressed about giving up the money. There is no quick fix for any addiction. Making money and eating chocolate are my drugs of choice. Baby steps. I'll say for now that I thoroughly enjoy not working. We'll see how it goes over the winter when the walls close in and I start to feel like a race horse at a starting gate that never opens.
PS: I would love to volunteer at an animal shelter but I will bring too many home and John will divorce me.
PS: I would love to volunteer at an animal shelter but I will bring too many home and John will divorce me.
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I want to save them all. My wife wants to do this when she retires, but I'm afraid of ^^^^^ this
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