Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Finally escaped The People's Republic of California
11,306 posts, read 8,652,146 times
Reputation: 6391
Advertisements
I've always identified more with my hobbies than my job, for me retirement was easy. I retired last August after 35 years, I worked for Big Oil and increasing felt like I was nothing but a number to them. For me the 4 months have been great... No regrets and no worries
I retired after 30+ years of teaching and my only concern was if there would be enough money to continue to live comfortably. I can honestly say that retirement was the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. The only money concern is the amount of taxes that I still pay, but other than that, money is ok.
This will be your opportunity to try new things, to travel to new places, and to meet new people. I had a "bucket" list of things that I wanted to do for a long time and once I retired, I started doing those things.
As far as regrets, when I run into former co-workers who are still working, most of them are counting down until they can retire. No regrets here.
If you have not done so, start thinking about what you want to accomplish in the next chapter of your life. As long as you can live comfortably, you will be amazed at the freedom that you have and wonder why you worked so long.
Greetings all. I am 55 years old and have worked for my organization 5 months shy of 30 years. Given my age and a few other factors, retirement is another 8 to 10 years away. But, as we've all said at one time or another, "10 years goes by like that!"
For several months, I've mulled in depth about retirement. More so about the moment when that last and final day at work arrives; the day when I'll say goodbye and walk away from it all, possibly after working 40 years in my organization and line of work. I never thought I'd say/write this but, frankly, the thought scares me.
It's only recently that I've realized the degree to which I identify with my job. To know that someday I will wake up and no longer be "that person" puts a bit of a damper in my spirit. In like manner, I have no idea what I would occupy my time after retirement.
So, has anyone else gone through these early pre-retirement jitters?
If so, what did you do to get over it?
Who do you become after you no longer identify with your trade, title, line of work?
Does everyone go through this?
After retirement, does one resign him/herself to living vicariously through the memories?
Thank you
As soon as I started reading your post I thought you identify too much with your job, and then you said it. You will have to get over that. I never identified myself with my job and only know one that did. People laugh at him. Still refers to himself as an engineer when he hasn't worked as one for years.
Why would you want to have memories of work? I only think of it when I see an obituary of a former coworker.
Retirement is what you are doing now, not what you did.
I did not say goodbye. People found out through the grapevine. Most people I know signed the papers and told them they were taking vacation days until the 1st of the month, walked out, and never looked back. I realize at a small employer that may not be possible.
You should start developing interests that has nothing to do with your employer or coworkers.
I was replaced 3 months before I left. I was honored and rewarded for my service. We hugged, we got a little teary-eyed.
The next day they could not tell you my name or what kind of cake was served at my party
The fact that I became obsolete to, and forgotten by them affects me in absolutely no way. My phone never rings.
I have a deep, strong connection to my past that influences me every day of my life. That influence could easily pull me into a terrible place, but I fight, every day, to keep those memories as just that--the past.
If I can overcome it (so far, so good), you can get past your work life, trust me.
Focus on being healthy and planning your freedom, you won't have time to worry about who you were.
I am 55 with 30 years at my company. I am planning to retire from my job in 6 months. I am mid-level professional. I can honestly say that I have never enjoyed a single day at my job. I do not identify with it. I do not look forward to it. I get no satisfaction from it. It is a job that provides a paycheck. I entered the wrong profession, and never had the courage or money to change out of it. I am not completely unhappy - I have a great boss, wonderful co-workers and a flexible schedule. It's the work itself that I don't care for.
I am looking forward to retiring and playing around with something completely different.
Do I have the jitters? Yes. I make decent money and it will be hard to replicate the income. I worry about the stock market crashing. I worry about developing cancer. Yada yada yada. But at what point does one pull the trigger and say - enough of the treadmill? For me, soon.
Thank you all for sharing your experiences and points of view. Hopefully more posters will add to the topic.
As some have mentioned, I most definitely identify a bit too much with my job. Why is that? Frankly, I enjoy the camaraderie of my co-workers and the challenges of the job. To this I add the fact that 75% of us are ex-Navy Hole Snipes - a gruff, colorful, yet decent bunch of guys. Without exception, at one time or another we have placed our safety, our limbs (and possibly our lives) in each others hands. It's not exactly your regular Mon-Fri/9-to-5 job. This may be a major contributing factor, and the reason why several of our retired co-workers wander by at 0600 for nothing more than black coffee and a little conversation.
Regardless, although retirement is several years away, it's time to start focusing on a life outside of work.
I am 55 with 30 years at my company. I am planning to retire from my job in 6 months. I am mid-level professional. I can honestly say that I have never enjoyed a single day at my job. I do not identify with it. I do not look forward to it. I get no satisfaction from it. It is a job that provides a paycheck. I entered the wrong profession, and never had the courage or money to change out of it. I am not completely unhappy - I have a great boss, wonderful co-workers and a flexible schedule. It's the work itself that I don't care for.
Just the opposite here....I have a job that I like but the boss from purgatory. Two years ago the institution I work for had a reorg and obliterated my department. When I first started in 1990 there were 14 people in my department--little did I realize that I'd be the "last man standing." I am now doing the same job in a different department under a manager that no one can stand. The only positive aspect to the shift is that it has forced me to focus on an end date--so the target retirement date is December 2017--I need to hold out until kid #2 graduates from college. I may not be quite fiscally ready for retirement BUT if I don't retire soon this job and place will kill me.
I think I will need to continue to work until at least 70 (I'm 64 now) but I am so burnt out that all I want to do when I walk out that door for the last time is find a beach and plant myself there for a year until the bad juju subsides.
When I talked with my brother at Thanksgiving he mentioned that his wife was having difficulty adjusting to retirement. My SIL was a HS teacher for 35 years and she feels like she's lost her identity. Her mother is 95+ years old, living alone but needs constant attention. I think she's got plenty to do right now.
I was recently at a event with my ex's family (we're on relatively good terms) My ex's father was in printing/advertising for many many years and was only recently let go because it so happened that the accounts he had been working on were out bid by other rival companies. He literally broke down and cried while reminiscing about work during the course of casual conversation. He soooo identifies with his profession and loved what he did for a living. He was in his mid-70s and still driving 2 hrs each way to work and back. I guess having a job you love is a two-edges sword.
I knew abundantly that it was time. No jitters, just relief. 36 year career over. With that said my identity was never wrapped up in my career. My life was always outside of work. Works supported my lifestyle and my career choice was one of the several things I did right.
My identity is a Christian, who lives in North America, married with kids and I am a musician, likes to ski, ride bikes, goes to movies and plays, enjoys wine and friends, drives a Subaru, hikes and likes small town life-oh and as a side note-worked in Social Services of a bit over 30 years plus another six years in county government.
My advice-you have time. Develop hobbies, interests and friendships outside of work before you retire.
[quote=thinkalot;42316839]As soon as I started reading your post I thought you identify too much with your job, and then you said it. You will have to get over that. I never identified myself with my job and only know one that did. People laugh at him. Still refers to himself as an engineer when he hasn't workedas one for years.
Why would you want to have memories of work? I only think of it when I see an obituary of a former coworker.
...........................
Why would that be a cause for laughter or derision, unless he is pompous or obsessive about it? You act as if it were a virtue not to identify oneself with one's job. Well, here's a news flash: Just because you had a certain attitude about something doesn't ipso facto make that attitude a desirable thing.
The fact is, that man is an engineer. Notice I didn't type was. He spent at least four or five years of hard, intensive college work in order to qualify himself for that profession, then had to get hired in a presumably competitive environment, then had to produce (i.e., solve problems, etc.) for three decades or more. He had the pleasure of meeting those challenges and he had the privilege of creating that identity for himself.
So while one certainly needs to move on and find things of interest in retirement, there are certain professions that do create the identities. He may be a retired engineer, but he remains an engineer. Fortunate are those like him who had satisfying, gratifying, enjoyable work and not just a Mc-Job that he is eager to forget all about. That would be a real tragedy - to spend three or four decades doing something which is so immanently forgettable.
OP, please don't be intimidated by those who seem to feel threatened by or jealous of your identifying yourself with your job, but rather be thankful for the close camaraderie (among other things) which have created that identity. (If they aren't jealous, why are they attacking it so vociferously?) Sure, nothing is forever and you are going to have to work at creating things of interest, worthwhile things that will give you pleasure in retirement. There have been some good suggestions already in that regard.
Those who have spend three or four decades doing something gratifying and worthwhile will have memories to cherish, and they should cherish them, even as they move beyond those experiences into the next phase of life.
After retirement, does one resign him/herself to living vicariously through the memories?
Thank you
IMHO, the answer to that question is not just no, but "H*LL NO!".
I think I get the camaraderie that is forged in the trenches. The trust that arises when every person in one's cohort is facing the same incoming in the same trench. The intensity of peak exertion, followed by the relief that one has come out on the other end. So to speak.
I've cycled through several corporate careers where I witnessed precisely the same phenomenon.
The phenomenon is an artifact of survival situations. Always has been, always will be. It is for that reason that people come back from combat zones and either don't ever again talk about the experience, or cannot stop talking about the experience. The personal engagement required by combat conditions - or active-duty-in-combat-zone conditions - or tier one corporate competitors when you, yourself are a player - these cannot be replicated in civilian life. By comparison, civilian life, with its softness, entitlements and pettiness - it's an imitation of life.
Speaking personally, the transition will not be difficult for me. I like freedom. I like options and flexibility of choice, for my discretionary time. Therefore, my hobby has been to develop sources of income that are beyond exogenous control.
I'm thinking a good approach would be to view the whole retirement thing from the standpoint of what you gain, vs. what you will lose. Focus your energy on cutting the financial cord.
It's out of scope to suggest other things you might want to focus your energies toward, as a transition exercise. Clearly, those of us who are driven need a boundary marker - a cut the cord ceremony, a transition ritual. A retirement dinner with balding, paunchy executives and their vapid wives does not check that box.
Personally, I've never seen the National Parks except in my state and contiguous states. So, my "cut the cord" ceremony will be to RV around to the National Parks, and stay in campgrounds. On the designated days, count the checks that come in via direct deposit. Take appropriate action if they don't come in. The tour and the business end qualify as a productive hobby.
I'm indifferent to the prospect of never seeing or hearing from anybody in my former careers again. Once I walk out, I'm gone.
P.S. - I LIKED each of my careers. I worked in good companies. I'm just not that attached to any of them, in alignment with my philosophy that "they rent your behavior for eight hours a day". You may want to consider that model.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
