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I wanted to hear from others about this "problem." I've seen several articles this holiday season about how/when to tell the kids that Santa is not real. I know that I did not encourage belief after age 5 or 6. I had learned early that Santa was not real, and I don't remember feeling too much angst about it.
I was also concerned about kids mixing Santa and God up. I mean, the way Santa is portrayed is as an all knowing being who "know when you've sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows when you've been bad or good. . . " I thought that kids could easily get confused. At any rate, my adult kids seem healthy to me and none of them have come to me with gripes about being disabused about Santa.
My oldest grand is getting close to the age when he should be hearing that some kids don't believe in Santa. I am not getting involved in this though. I've done my bit. If he were to ask me, I'd say, "What do you think?" and then leave it at that.
When did you learn? Was it traumatic? What about your kids, if you had any? Was it traumatic for them? Do you think it is damaging if they "believe" into their upper grades? Or not?
I was also concerned about kids mixing Santa and God up. I mean, the way Santa is portrayed is as an all knowing being who "know when you've sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows when you've been bad or good. . . " I thought that kids could easily get confused. At any rate, my adult kids seem healthy to me and none of them have come to me with gripes about being disabused about Santa.
Well one point is no one is claiming that Santa created the universe. So that's an easy issue to address. Secondly, I grew up in a Jewish and atheistic home, so Santa and God were never considered. Despite my upbringing I became a Christian in my college years.
But we did have a Chanukah bush under which presents appeared on December 25. Go figure.
They're going to hear about it when they're around 8 years old anyway so even though I never had kids (but did teach first grade and did have younger siblings) I think kids should be told by the time they're 8 if they haven't already asked.
I was about 7 when I learned and maybe there is a less painful way of hearing the truth than hearing it from the nasty boy who lived across the street. (Girls, you know. The one who used to pull your hair? Had a crush on you but you didn't like him?) So my punishment was to have him bellow from across the street, "THERE'S NO SANTA CLAUS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.)
I ran crying to my parents who did tell me it was true even though I kept not wanting it to be true.
But I do not believe it does any harm to believe in fairly tales or Santa Claus. It had no bearing whatsoever on my future beliefs. It took the magic out of Christmas. But the loss of the innocence of childhood is a part of growing up.
I was never taught that Santa was real. I was raised in a Jewish family. My mom and dad told me Santa was a fairy tale that Christian kids believed in and all those nice men in red suits we saw on the street were a part of that culture. It was just make believe. She also cautioned me not to tell the other kids who did believe in him not to say anything because they were taught to believe and that would show a lack of respect for their religious customs.
When I was 4 I had at the top of the stairs and saw my mother and her boy friend put the presents under the tree. The next morning I told her what I saw and she said that it was Santa, "but mom I saw you put the presents under the tree" and she doubled down and said that I didn't see her doing it.
Then I realized that I could never believe anything my mother said to me. But my mother needed me to believe that there was a Santa so she could feel good about it.
I wanted to hear from others about this "problem." I've seen several articles this holiday season about how/when to tell the kids that Santa is not real. I know that I did not encourage belief after age 5 or 6. I had learned early that Santa was not real, and I don't remember feeling too much angst about it.
I was also concerned about kids mixing Santa and God up. I mean, the way Santa is portrayed is as an all knowing being who "know when you've sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows when you've been bad or good. . . " I thought that kids could easily get confused. At any rate, my adult kids seem healthy to me and none of them have come to me with gripes about being disabused about Santa.
My oldest grand is getting close to the age when he should be hearing that some kids don't believe in Santa. I am not getting involved in this though. I've done my bit. If he were to ask me, I'd say, "What do you think?" and then leave it at that.
When did you learn? Was it traumatic? What about your kids, if you had any? Was it traumatic for them? Do you think it is damaging if they "believe" into their upper grades? Or not?
I think most of us just find out Santa isn't 'real' as time passes and we get older. I found out, for sure, that he wasn't when I was about nine. I had my 'suspicions' and asked my mom about it. She didn't lie and told me I was correct, there really wasn't a Santa BUT I was NOT to say anything to my much younger siblings. I was to help her "keep the secret". Made me feel somewhat grown up, I guess, so I did. The sibs found out in their own good time. I was the same with my own kids. They found out on their own, pretty much, and it was never traumatic for anyone. They just started asking ME for 'stuff' instead of Santa! lol
When I was seven years old I remember peering out the front window of our house and waiting to see Santa in his sleigh and his reindeer hopping from one roof to the next, delivering gifts. We always opened ours on Christmas Eve and they were under our tree, so I knew that he must be in our neighborhood. But after several minutes of fruitlessly scanning the skies, I didn't see anything at all, just the usual night view. I remember a sinking feeling came over me, and I knew in my heart that Santa Claus was just a story and not real. I didn't say anything to anyone but filed this revelation away in the back of my mind.
Some months later an elderly woman, a deeply religious friend of the family, tried to talk to me about God. I smugly informed her that God was just like Santa and the Easter bunny - a made-up story that was told to us so we'd be good!
I was about 5 years old. I looked up inside our fireplace and concluded that Santa couldn't possibly come down that narrow chimney, so he couldn't be real. It wasn't a horrifying discovery. My parents had always told me about Santa, but in a way that helped me understand that he was more "pretend" than real.
Being 8 out of 9 kids, I learned early. Twas not a pretty picture.
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