A sure way to find out who is a "well to do" retiree? (trouble, family)
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The point he's making is not to judge a person's wealth by their clothing. He did, and was surprised to find out that the sweatsuit lady he'd assumed was a housekeeper or something turned out to be a countess.
So what? Don't you remember all the "money history" at the turn of the 19th century? When guys from the "old country" with titles were marrying young women from nouveau wealthy industrialist families in the US to get money? And the families were marrying their daughters to these guys to get titles?
When it comes to people with titles - many often don't have money. Although some do. Like Sir Elton John :
I don't need a fancy handbag to get a good table. If they lead me to table next to the bus cart or the kitchen door, I simply tell them we'll wait for the next table, and if they don't mind we'd love to be near a window. And then I wait.
OK - tell me the best restaurant you've ever been to in your whole life. Or perhaps the top 3. Your approach might work in some places. And I'd like to know what your frame of reference is.
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Having all your travel clothes in a particular palette to make packing and matching easier is smart. I know the Europeans wear a lot of black, but,for me, it's just too dreary to be in all black all the time. It reminds me of the old days of mourning clothes.
So how do you pack when you travel?
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If I could only own one purse for many years, I probably would spend a couple hundred to get a good quality purse, but I like to have different sizes for my needs. I have bags from the size of a cellphone to a small totebag depending on my needs for that day. Some days all I need is cash, credit card, and a phone. Other times I need a water bottle, Kleenex, a digital camera, a novel, a protein bar, a pen, lipstick, breath mints, my full wallet, my cell phone, my reading glasses, my sunglasses, and a bottle of sunscreen. Most times I'm somewhere in between these two extremes, but I like my purse to match my outfit in color and mood (beachy, sporty, elegant, practical, etc). Since I alternate between them, they last for many years, despite their low cost. If they start to look a bit tatty, I donate them, or pitch them out.
Again - what do you pack when you travel? Maximum for me is 2 handbags. One casual - one dressy. And I figure if that works when I travel - why shouldn't it work when I'm at home? Robyn
I did read your message the first time - but didn't understand the point of it. First off - how do you know the woman had money? There is every indication that she - and other family members in her generation - weren't well off.
The Vanderbilts held a family reunion at Vanderbilt University in 1973 attended by 120 family members. Not one of them was even a millionaire.
The financial rise and fall of the Vanderbilt family is one of the most well known in US history.
Second - the woman lived at the Breakers (apparently rent free - the mansion itself is owned by the Preservation Society of Newport - which bought it in 1972).
What's unusual about anyone who lives somewhere going out and doing some grocery shopping in sweats? Or at Walmart (there's no Costco in Rhode Island ). In all honesty - perhaps the woman bought her clothes at Walmart because that's all she could afford. Or because there aren't many places to shop around Newport. Or - even if the woman did have money (not likely) - what's unusual about not getting dressed up to go to the grocery store? Robyn
Yes...it's very hard to "judge" who has money or doesn't. Because everyone values and thus spends on different things. Some want the "luxury" of dressing in Walmart clothes to save money while still being recognized as rich by wearing one or two recognizably expensive items. Then they can take umbrage at those who "fail" this test because they obviously know nothing of class or the "right" brands and pat themselves on the back at the same time for being so practical and saving money on everything else.
It is a silly game to play and in the end points to insecurity at some level. Of course if you care nothing about being recognized as having money then you really are quite above it all and on your own plane (by that I mean level, not a private jet!).
So what? Don't you remember all the "money history" at the turn of the 19th century? When guys from the "old country" with titles were marrying young women from nouveau wealthy industrialist families in the US to get money? And the families were marrying their daughters to these guys to get titles?
When it comes to people with titles - many often don't have money. Although some do. Like Sir Elton John ....
Some, probably many, don't; but the key to the success of many noble families was to invest their money from land into manufacturing - especially if they did this before the abolition of the monarchy in their countries and land reform.
A good number live in quiet luxury still and are very well-heeled...clipping their coupons or sitting on boards of directors. Our local countess dressed hardly better than most of the widows in town, but she entertained her family and their families in a local restaurant on Sundays. I was frequently the only other diner, so the opportunities to observe her were frequent. She had socked her money into local real estate and the town is now a popular tourist resort. No fool she. She was evidently very quick-witted in conversation and liked to be entertained by her extended family and some of their friends.
She had a personal female servant who went everywhere with her, carried her coat, held her purse, took packages, etc. Over the years I saw the servant become more and more physicalyl burdened by ageing, and the roles were reversed with the countess carrying her servant's coat, making sure she had her scarf on, carrying all the packages and in every way acting as if this woman were her sister. An unusual example of noblesse oblige.
If you look at the wife and I you would probably not suspect much money at all. If you know us and our lifestyle you would go hmmmm. At this point if you ask us one question and we answer it that is a give away.
Question- When did you take SS
Answer- Not yet will do at 70
Clothes for me come from Costco, Duluth Trading Company and Kohls with some items from Amazon. Cargo shorts, Cargo pants, Duluth or Kohl's casual shirts and T's along with comfortable shoes ugly or not.
I can see where the OP is coming from. We have friends that are retired and they're always going all over the place. So it does give the impression that they are well-off. I know that they're not wealthy, but they did do well for themselves.
Unless you see their brokerage statements there's really no tell-tale sign of how someone is financially. Some people that have money are as cheap as the day is long. Others just spend well beyond their means.
We use our credit cards to purchase everything but pay the card off in full each month. We use air miles and hotel points to pay for our vacations and we go on a cruise each year. I guess it looks like we are rich.
My brother son and daughter live in different states but he can't afford to fly out to see them. I just showed him how to use a credit card so he could earn free flights, his son welcomes him. Oh he did sign up but I don't think he has followed through. I won't mention it anymore. At least I don't think I'll hear him complain how he can't afford to fly to see his kids anymore, he'll bend someone else's ear now.
A lot of people are like this, they want to do things but unwilling to take the extra step.
I went to school with a girl from another state and she was offered a place to stay with rich, retired relatives during her time in college. When she arrived, the living arrangements weren't at their house but with a widowed acquaintance. She rode a bike to school, even in the snow although her relatives offered to buy her a car. It's a good thing she turned them down and kept on riding her bike. At the end of her time with them, they presented an itemized bill for her time with them, something she didn't expect and wasn't discussed or made clear before. Thankfully, she was thrifty herself because they would have charged her if she wasn't. It changed my view of wealthy people; I now wonder what or who that wealth was built on.
Again - what do you pack when you travel? Maximum for me is 2 handbags. One casual - one dressy. And I figure if that works when I travel - why shouldn't it work when I'm at home? Robyn
I don't want to bore everybody here...but it depends entirely on where I am traveling and the type of trip. The overall plan however is to pick a palette and have everything relate to that. Most of my bottoms (shorts, capris, slacks) are neutrals, tan, white, navy, ,and black. So I might bring tan and white bottoms in summer and colorful tops that all coordinate. Sometimes I'll add a sleeveless or short sleeve dress and a sweater, or blouse, to wear over it. I bring usually two pairs of shoes and two purses, a mini cross-body purse or a clutch, that matches the neutral bottoms that I have brought, which works as a wallet inside a larger tote size bag. At home I just like to vary my purses more.
As far as restaurants, I don't keep track of things like that, and I wouldn't patronize a place that would treat anyone poorly based upon their standard of dress. If I did, it would certainly be the LAST time I'd eat there. I detest snobbery.
Some, probably many, don't; but the key to the success of many noble families was to invest their money from land into manufacturing - especially if they did this before the abolition of the monarchy in their countries and land reform.
A good number live in quiet luxury still and are very well-heeled...clipping their coupons or sitting on boards of directors. Our local countess dressed hardly better than most of the widows in town, but she entertained her family and their families in a local restaurant on Sundays. I was frequently the only other diner, so the opportunities to observe her were frequent. She had socked her money into local real estate and the town is now a popular tourist resort. No fool she. She was evidently very quick-witted in conversation and liked to be entertained by her extended family and some of their friends.
She had a personal female servant who went everywhere with her, carried her coat, held her purse, took packages, etc. Over the years I saw the servant become more and more physicalyl burdened by ageing, and the roles were reversed with the countess carrying her servant's coat, making sure she had her scarf on, carrying all the packages and in every way acting as if this woman were her sister. An unusual example of noblesse oblige.
Coupons haven't been clippable for decades.
As for employers taking care of employees - it has happened before - in many different situations.
Finally - many older people have full or part time aides. And younger people have employees like nannies - housekeepers - or similar. The question I always ask is whether the employer is paying FICA taxes for these employees. Most don't. And - if they don't - I figure they either: 1) don't have a lot of money; and/or 2) are tax cheats; and/or 3) don't care about their employees. I wouldn't care so much about whether your countess carried her employee's coat as opposed to whether she paid into SS/Medicare for her for all the years her employee was working for her. Robyn
If you look at the wife and I you would probably not suspect much money at all. If you know us and our lifestyle you would go hmmmm. At this point if you ask us one question and we answer it that is a give away.
Question- When did you take SS
Answer- Not yet will do at 70
Clothes for me come from Costco, Duluth Trading Company and Kohls with some items from Amazon. Cargo shorts, Cargo pants, Duluth or Kohl's casual shirts and T's along with comfortable shoes ugly or not.
We both took SS when we were 62. So you're taking it at 70 isn't a giveaway. When we were 62 - our break even age in terms of taking SS at full retirement age - much less 70 - was close to 80 (even without taking any investment returns from our SS into account - or inflation either). The numbers/life expectancy didn't compute for me and my husband. Guess if we don't die until we're super old - we will lose the bet. Will let you know 10-20 years from now if we've won/lost.
I went to school with a girl from another state and she was offered a place to stay with rich, retired relatives during her time in college. When she arrived, the living arrangements weren't at their house but with a widowed acquaintance. She rode a bike to school, even in the snow although her relatives offered to buy her a car. It's a good thing she turned them down and kept on riding her bike. At the end of her time with them, they presented an itemized bill for her time with them, something she didn't expect and wasn't discussed or made clear before. Thankfully, she was thrifty herself because they would have charged her if she wasn't. It changed my view of wealthy people; I now wonder what or who that wealth was built on.
How do you know the people were wealthy?
Maybe they were. And maybe they weren't. Also note that - sometimes - people with money are cheap/misers. OTOH - some people without money are profligates. It is difficult/impossible to generalize. I don't even have a good sense of things when it comes to immediate family members for the most part. Except for my father (because I manage his money and I know how he spends it). Robyn
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