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When we moved to Florida, we suddenly found friends and relatives coming out of the woodwork.......everyone wanted to come and "visit" us. People we barely knew. Out of self preservation, we simply said "Oh, we would love to see you while you are in town, can we help you find a motel in the area so we can get together a few times ?" We did the same thing with relatives, we were not in the business of being hoteliers.
You would be amazed how quickly they changed their vacation plans ! If you are a doormat, you are going to be stepped on.
When we moved to Florida, we suddenly found friends and relatives coming out of the woodwork.......everyone wanted to come and "visit" us. People we barely knew. Out of self preservation, we simply said "Oh, we would love to see you while you are in town, can we help you find a motel in the area so we can get together a few times ?" We did the same thing with relatives, we were not in the business of being hoteliers.
You would be amazed how quickly they changed their vacation plans ! If you are a doormat, you are going to be stepped on.
Don
This is the best way to handle this type of situation. No lies. No buying a smaller house. This way.
One does not need to be retired to have this happen to them. It is even worse when hosts need to work. Not sure why this is on a retirement blog other than the assumption that retired folks have time to wait on and entertain guests. It is a real pain when party animals show up and we need to be at work the next day. In Vegas there are a lot of places to stay, and we have one guest room. That's it.
We nipped this in the bud early. When visiting relatives, we NEVER stay that their houses. When they asked why, we stated "we don't really believe in staying in other's houses; it is just too much of an imposition". As a result, there is lower pressure when visiting others, and they got the point. We don't have to host them either. We ALL have better vacations. For those that don't want to visit us because of this...we don't sit around, saying 'meps, meps' !
We have a small house with one bathroom...it is in the master bedroom! We get up at 4:00 a.m. The dogs are barky...not a guest-friendly arrangement. I cannot imagine people assuming that they are entitled to be put up at ones' house beyond 2-3 days. Gutsy!
We prefer to stay in a hotel when we travel. Privacy, a place to relax and we can decide when to go to bed and what time to get up. A neutral place to veg out after a day of visits and sightseeing! Everyone wins!
Mae
Well, supposedly sweet people who with one face make people welcome, and with their other face complain to others about how they really hate them being there - who knows what they say about you behind your back.
I don't like people like this. I've known some and we're no longer friends, because I got sick of hearing their victim stories, then watch them make those people feel welcome to whatever it was they would later complain about.
And then, I realized they are probably complaining about me for whatever reason - to the other people.
Victim no more. Can't stand them. Give me people with the cojones to be honest and straightforward.
My friends are sweet people, hard as it for some people to believe they do exist in this world. They didn't come over to complain to me. I could see and hear it all, we are close, just next door. I spoke to them when the company left for the beach one morning and left them with a mess to clean up. Ann's eye's were filled with tears as we talked and she just kept saying they are family, I can't turn them away. My fear was with their health problems....this could prove to be too much for them.
The reason I'm responding to your comment is because you can't assume to know what kind of person she and her husband are when you don't know them. They have more kindness, compassion in their little finger than most people have in their entire body. Do I worry about her talking behind my back? NO, I don't. Are they victims? Certainly they are and you could say it is their own fault because they were too sweet and kind to turn those people away. The world could use more people like my friends!
Ann actually showed me the letter she is mailing. She explained in that letter that it's just too much for them to have company at this stage of their lives due to health problems. My friend is a dying breed, a truly kind, pure soul.
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If you are a doormat, you are going to be stepped on.
Expensive hotel room vs. my tiny studio apartment? My tiny studio apartment is the winner!
