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I'm not going to say move or not move, as that is a decision you will ultimately have to make for yourself.
It can be hard to develop a social life in a small town. But, its not impossible.
First, is this a town you grew up in and went to school in? If so, check out the facebook pages for this town and/or the high school you went to. Reconnect with those people, some of whom are probably divorced/widowed and looking to repartner or even just have friends.
Define for yourself as specifically as possible what you would like your life to look like.
Check out volunteer work as that is a great way to get to know people and one of the places you will find other retirees.
Find out where the men go in your town, especially retired or age appropriate men and go there. For example, I live in a small town and every breakfast place in my town is teeming with men my age at breakfast time lol!!
I am quite sure if I wanted to find a new husband, all I would have to do is go out to breakfast every day of the week.
I'm not retired yet, but if I were in your position I would figure out where I would like to live geographically (if I could afford to, and it sounds like you can) and go there. Do things you love and get to know the people who also love those things. You can visit family when you get bored!
All you have to do to avoid being thought a gay come-on is mention grandchildren or late husband or some other sign of being hetero. Most people stop there and don't realize that a person could live a straight life and then later a gay life. For myself, since I've never been married, I often feel I need to tell people in some way that I'm straight and say something like, "If I'd been more conventional, I'd have divorced twice before I was 25!" and if asked about not having children, I tell the truth that I never was family oriented and that I'd lost one great guy over the issue, and that's true, too.
When I bought my lot in Colorado for retirement, the broker told me, "There are so many smart and independent women around here," and I said, "I'm not coming out here for a date, but aren't there any men?" I thought he assumed I was gay and looking! He denied it later. But I do look forward to the possibility of friends in my new location, friends who won't think I'm after their husbands, if they have one. (I gather there are a lot of older divorced women where I'm going. I just want congenial people to have lunch with and some conversation at the farmers market!)
If joining groups isn't your thing, or volunteering isn't your thing, or going back to work isn't your thing....I'm not sure how you can get what you want.
The first step is to determine what you expected your retirement by yourself would be like. Then you have to make plans to make that happen. But if you expected your relatives to be part of it, I hate to say it, but that's a dream.
This.
The OP has told us that she is lonely, but doesn't want to go out and meet people in groups.
I want to recommend that you get out of your comfort zone. Have you met your neighbors? Have you taken them some homemade baked goodies? You could start there.
Anyway she met a man on the ship who had also lost his wife after a long illness.
She probably didn't realize that she beat the odds in more ways than one. We've met many widows, some recent, on cruises but we have never encountered a widower.
In the OP's case, however, there would be quite a few congenial women to talk to. I don't think many people go on cruises only to lock themselves in their staterooms the entire time.
The downside of course would be most of the ladies wouldn't be local. But this is how my MIL found her traveling companion. They shared a stateroom on a half-dozen cruises and saved money. My MIL also took a lot of tours with Grand Circle Travel and Overseas Adventure Travel.
I never would have thought love would blossom on the high seas... even after watching Love Boat as a kid.
John is the epitome of a true gentleman and a seasoned snow skier... they both have kids, grandkids and even great grandkids... and have a passion for travel... he insisted on a church wedding and she said are you really sure?
I've been fortunate to have met many of them and it really has grown into one big extended family over the last 8 years...
Maybe it was fate... as his wife is the one who encouraged him to get out and to go on that cruise they had planned before she got sick... just like her husband did...
Between homes, kids, weddings, graduations, etc... they have a very full life in their 80's... much more than most I know at any age...
Neither had any expectations or could have imagine just how wonderful it would be the second time around...
One thing they both have is an attitude to seize the day... not to put off... for tomorrow isn't promised.
Is there a local cause you want to volunteer to serve or local need you want to fill with your own non-profit? Maybe teach classes at library if you know a skill other locals may not know?
Might think about RVing. Several Female RVers groups exist and hold events regularly; serve as way to network to meet other women with whom to travel around. RV is better option as you can just lay on horn and drive away if anything is wrong while camping. Better not to use jacks and do not leave water hose attached at night. Can easily just drive it away.
Can do volunteer vacations anywhere. Make sure company/situation is legitimate.
Can find a lot of temporary or seasonal work on Craigslist for all over country.
Sometimes all it takes is the smallest of things to set out on a new path...
The possibilities are endless as we are all unique.
If I were to paraphrase it would be to be open to life...
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