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I am NOT attempting to stereotype here, but there are some women among those I personally know, like two of my sisters, who would be one step from dire poverty if their husbands did not provide a lion's share of the income since day one of the marriage.
These women are around my age. They typically held jobs not high-paying or career-track but some had jobs that did provide such things as municipal health insurance to allow their husbands to thrive in their own businesses.
One of my sisters has a teaching degree but because husband was in a high position she never worked more than PT in a library. They just didn't feel like they had to be a primary provider because the husband would do it all and they themselves would pay for the niceties like vacations/cruises, kid college funds, gifts, etc. If their high-earner spouse precedes them in death, they are typically left well-off. It does gall me when some of these entitled women (of my generation) have no clue that they're well-off because of their high-earning husbands. They feel their marriage choice made them worthy of that kind of safety. My observations are not sexist, just what is.
This personal observation also relates to frequent criticism aimed at single or divorced women who had to make it totally on their own and wound up close to being destitute in retirement (many after holding low paying jobs and caring for others, and often retiring due to health problems).
I admire the women I know around my age who actually fended for themselves, with or without their spouse.
I don't think the Elder Orphans and the Retired Poor are meant to cover the well-off/rich widow demographic. The challenge of the Silver Tsunami coming is that we're a generation that's 1- living longer, 2- will eventually develop more health problems, 3- still have a cohort of women who never worked outside the home, or 4- worked low-level, low-paying jobs and never had any money to save in the first place.
It's enormously discouraging to read the same old "how to save" advice written for people in traditional coupled relationships, with traditional jobs and 401K access, possibly with pensions, and spouting the same "pay yourself first" homilies. If your rent/mortgage is 45% of your low income, trust me, you don't have 10, 15, or 20% left over to save. If you're relatively poor during your working years, you're gonna be even poorer in your retirement years.
It seems like co-housing a la Golden Girls will be one of the viable answers. Only by sharing your biggest housing expense will the average Joan be able to buy those pesky little necessities like food and electricity.
YMMV. Good luck to all retirees!
Last edited by beatkay; 10-05-2016 at 04:58 PM..
Reason: misread item
The food banks in this area ask only for a name, number of dependents, and SS number (government reporting requirement) and will provide food on a weekly basis. No questions about income, savings, or any thing else... if you say you need food they will provide it.
Yes. We have several food banks in our small county. I'm volunteering next week.
I have to say I agree with them. They chose well. I wish every woman would choose well when it comes to a marriage partner. If their husbands are OK with them working part-time, that's all that matters.
So we women are supposed to "choose" well? I was brought up to believe that I should get my college education so that I could always support myself. Not to "choose" well. Besides, you can choose Mr Perfect but he may become Mr Imperfect one of these days when he runs off with his secretary (or insert appropriate younger woman). No man or woman should be thinking that their spouse will support them as if they are a little kid.
(BTW, all of my friends are women, all have at least a 4-yr degree, and all have money. They all worked their entire lives but when they graduated in the 60s & early 70s there weren't many well paying jobs open to women. Except for two of them, the big money came from inheriting it from their parents--but just because that happens so much, doesn't mean you should depend upon it.)
Last edited by in_newengland; 10-05-2016 at 09:42 PM..
Pointing out the obvious, sometimes a health problem makes retiring necessary.
I do not understand the statement 'best that they just die'. Millions of people all over the world live a meager existence and to say they all might as well just die is mind-boggling.
(including the women in this thread in the U.S. who are living meagerly)
Also, there are different and varying degrees of a meager existence.
The OP is not talking about people like that. She responded to my question indicating that some of the challenged women in that group retired voluntarily. One, she noted, retired at such a young age she did not qualify for medicare. I'm sorry, that was a dumb move. If one is not meeting the numbers required for retirement, and is not being fired or laid off, it's just idiotic to retire. That's like a spoiled child taking their bat and ball and running home because they didn't hit a home run. Yep, work can be a boring drag. Being old and poor is worse.
Some individuals don't get the luxury of voluntarily retiring. Some are forced to retire or have to leave their jobs due to ill health. I work for a state agency and you would not believe the shenanigans that occur (reorganizing people out of their positions, state layoffs, etc.) If management wants you out, they'll make it tough for you. A few years back we had one woman targeted because someone complained of her hygiene (she's a cat hoarder) Mind you, the woman targeted worked in the same department since she was 18 and was in her early 60s when the complaint occurred. She was encouraged to seek medical and psychological treatment. She was so embarrassed and mortified she left the job. No kudos for the years of dedication to her job (she was damn good at it--very thorough), no retirement party (she was too upset to want one), NADA. The underlying reason was a targeted effort by the organization to get rid of anyone falling under Tier I state retirement plan. The middle manager so much as said that there were 2 people in her department that upper management wanted out. In a previous iteration of my own department, the new supervisor that was hired (the previous supervisor was demoted because of office politics) didn't even last a year. When he was being considered for the job he specifically told the director that if he was being hired to clean house he didn't want the job. He was assured that it was not so. Well guess what--management wanted both my previous supervisor and another colleague out.
I digress, but the point is crap has a way of sneaking up on you in life.
I have to say I agree with them. They chose well. I wish every woman would choose well when it comes to a marriage partner. If their husbands are OK with them working part-time, that's all that matters.
So they don't have to be responsible for themselves, in their own right. Good grief.
I have to say I agree with them. They chose well. I wish every woman would choose well when it comes to a marriage partner. If their husbands are OK with them working part-time, that's all that matters.
My ex-husband was not only okay with my working full time he was also more okay with him just working part time or not at all. I guess he chose well while it lasted.
I am NOT attempting to stereotype here, but there are some women among those I personally know, like two of my sisters, who would be one step from dire poverty if their husbands did not provide a lion's share of the income since day one of the marriage.
These women are around my age. They typically held jobs not high-paying or career-track but some had jobs that did provide such things as municipal health insurance to allow their husbands to thrive in their own businesses.
One of my sisters has a teaching degree but because husband was in a high position she never worked more than PT in a library. They just didn't feel like they had to be a primary provider because the husband would do it all and they themselves would pay for the niceties like vacations/cruises, kid college funds, gifts, etc. If their high-earner spouse precedes them in death, they are typically left well-off. It does gall me when some of these entitled women (of my generation) have no clue that they're well-off because of their high-earning husbands. They feel their marriage choice made them worthy of that kind of safety. My observations are not sexist, just what is.
This personal observation also relates to frequent criticism aimed at single or divorced women who had to make it totally on their own and wound up close to being destitute in retirement (many after holding low paying jobs and caring for others, and often retiring due to health problems).
I admire the women I know around my age who actually fended for themselves, with or without their spouse.
Women should be savvy about finances, married or not. They should know cash flow, savings, investments and income, and how they would manage if they are home and husband works. Staying home, managing the household and taking care of the family are not value less. The husband cannot be successful AND happy if he did not have a family and social network to come home to. They do not have to resolve the day to day issues of child care, maintenance, and family relationships. My husband retired making more money than I did working but I managed our finances so I knew the answers for the above better than he did.
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