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I take it OP is a man? Between my husband and I, if it were left up to him we would not have any friends or social activities. Not because he's unfriendly, or unsociable, but just because he doesn't make any effort.
Like he says, how come nobody ever emails him? It's because he never emails anyone.
If I didn't make social arrangements, we wouldn't have any.
My point is some men just don't know how to do the schmooze very well.
When I retire in 2018 to a small Western town, I certainly hope to make friends but realize that I might top out with casual connections or people in the same volunteer activities. Like other posters, I hope to find a sense of general community and that might or might not include personal friends. I've always been a one-to-one person (comes from working third shift, living alone and being into conversation) and will have to expand my social abilities in the new environment.
I could make more friends if I wanted to. I know how to make friends, if I put some effort into it. But that's my problem. It seems I am always the one putting the effort in. So I don't bother anymore. Most people are into themselves. Maybe I have BO?
I could make more friends if I wanted to. I know how to make friends, if I put some effort into it. But that's my problem. It seems I am always the one putting the effort in. So I don't bother anymore. Most people are into themselves. Maybe I have BO?
Sadly you are right. If you happen to be introduced to a group of people, good luck getting to be part of it. Not easy. I have withdrawn a lot myself. I have made discoveries of self-love, independence, pursuing my own interests whatever they might be and not feel obliged to take an interest in something I have no interest in. For too many years I always thought everything was my fault...... I finally learned it is NOT.
I live in a 55+ and there are always people around. Friendly people. So much for your conclusion.
Hmmm, we visited a couple who lived in a senior community in AZ. People were not just outdoors, they were walking, biking, and riding golf carts around their roads. I had never seen golf cart garages before. Their inherent lack of a sealed cage, and their slow speed, probably promoted encountering neighbors.
It is true of my experience as a person who does a lot of outdoor activity that more times than not there are never people out in their yards, sitting on their porches, walking, biking, doing anything. I've noticed it for quite awhile.
Both in the rural area where I lived and around me now in the suburbs.
Even on bike paths and at parks when I see people they are older. It's like younger ones aren't riding bikes or hiking or doing yard work.
It's hard to know your neighbors when they're hiding in the house.
I live in a 55+ and there are always people around. Friendly people. So much for your conclusion.
I base my conclusions on my experience and that of others. Never ever said all were like this - maybe yours is different - maybe. But I based my conclusion on 6 different ones - not just one.
Here's my fear - when I moved into this neighborhood 24 years ago it was a 55+ community - not officially, but it happened that way. We had the older generation that was sweet and would smile and wave when they walked by and then we had that 1/2 generation younger that were the snarky, gossipy, critical nasty ones.
The older generation all left one by one and then all that was left were these gawd awful women. Now finally they are all gone and a younger nicer group has moved in.
Wouldn't that just be a pizzer if I moved into a 55+ community and then~~~~~there they are again.
Snarky, gossipy nasty - well, I think you know what I'm talking about. Now they can stay in their houses but I would want others that can actually carry a conversation to be out and about.
That depends on your neighborhood, although I agree, a dog will help.
Here most people are never outside. Not even in the good weather. Everyone seems to be in the house and when I walk the dogs, I only see other dogs ! Sometimes I want to go knock on doors and say " What are you doing inside?" What is so important in the house? Must be the TV, the computer, or the refrigerator I guess. Community and neighborhood are not common around here.
I have a winter home just down the road from you and I see a lot of my neighbors all the time. There are some who never venture outside, but most do.
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