Being the last of your Generation and Outliving all your Siblings (moving, relatives)

[NorthwestResident]

I wondered do people 85 years and over have a hard time or struggle with being the last of their Generation and Outliving all their Siblings? It must be hard for them I imagine

My Great-Grandmother who now 90 is looking forward to that day although not in a really serious obsessed way. She told My Grandpa couple years ago that she doesn't have much time left and talk about death which has sometimes bother My Mom a little which I can understand.

But I got to thinking she has outlived her Parents, Most of her Cousins, Siblings, Friends and has outlived Three of her Children. She is piratically the last of her Generation.

She probably feel pretty lonely

[HappyDogToday]

I am 61, an only child, no children, parents and all aunts and uncles gone. I have 2 cousins left on each side that I am in touch with. All ''family historians'' are gone now on my side.
My SO and I are now the ''elders'' in her family and the Gen Xer nieces and nephews do not carry on the longstanding family traditions of gathering for the holidays, visiting for connection, etc. If I learn anything about any of them it's on Facebook though they live an hour away.
When my SO's mom died ten years ago, at age 90, she said, ''I don't mind moving on now. I don't know anyone anymore anyway.''
I get that. I already know more dead people than living ones. When the time comes I'll be ready.

[catsy girl]

I am the only child of parents who have been dead for 40 years, am widowed, and have no children. I have two cousins in their early eighties, with whom I have only occasional contact, and another cousin, age 91, with whom I'm in contact by phone a few times a month. The SO is estranged from his half- brother and parents are dead. He does have a very elderly uncle and a cousin who live about 200 miles away,and he talks with them once or twice a month. We visit about once a year.


I have been the "last of my generation "for many years, and have never been used to siblings and/or close relatives really since my twenties. My husband and I generally had friends, changing somewhat over the years, who served as a kind of family. Now, with the S.O. there is much less of that, some of it due to living farther from where I grew up, and some of it due to aging. I can't say I ever especially wanted to have siblings, and my husband and I chose not to have children; I really can't say I have regrets about any of it.


I have never been concerned about leaving a legacy, as some would put it. I know many people, have one or two real friends, and feel fortunate for that. I know that I have had an influence, made a difference, however slightly, on some lives, as people have been kind enough to share this with me. I don't expect anymore than this, and I can't say that I ever did. Having much older parents when I was born, and being raised by a houseful of older relatives resulted in my having a different childhood than my contemporaries. To some extent, one could say my whole life prepared me for being the only survivor; I think I accepted that reality a long time ago.




Catsy

[bigbear99]

The problem is more of outliving all your friends. Mom passed away last winter at 95. Thankfully she had dementia the last few years, so she did not have the loneliness she did earlier.

[Aqua Blue]

I remember when my grandmothers last sibling died and she said. "No one remembers me as a child now". I found it sad then, and i find it sad now, at least 45 years later.

[Hemlock140]

This happened with my mother in law, who made it to 95. The last 13 years were in an adult family home with 5 others, so she had plenty of companionship, though there was turnover in that time. With only my wife and kids there was no need to have a funeral.

[johngolf]

My family name will die with my son. His cousin (who had no children) recently died making my son the only living male with the family name and he will not be having children (married to a woman with a child and he has had a vasectomy).

My niece named her daughter with the family name as her first name so the name will be heard for many years but as a last name, is is gone.

[animalcrazy]

I don't have any family but I worry about which of us will be left alone. It's going to be very difficult for one of us and I hope that I go before John does. It's also hard to think about which of my best friends will go first. It would be perfect if I left before any of them did.

[merv1225]

My father talked about this recently. He's almost 90 and the last of his good friends died last year.
He said he feels like the last man standing, and that it does get lonely. All of that shared history
he and his friends had is gone.

[jlawrence01]

Originally Posted by NorthwestResident

I wondered do people 85 years and over have a hard time or struggle with being the last of their Generation and Outliving all their Siblings? It must be hard for them I imagine

My aunt is 93 years old. Both of her siblings died at age 57, the last one in 1995.

For the last 75 years, my aunt and her classmates would get together on a monthly basis for lunch. in the 1970s, there were 45 of them. Three months ago, the only remaining classmate died.

I have to admit that my two unspoken reactions were "well, being the last one left beats the alternative" or "you have to make some new (and younger) friends."

It is a real challenge when you get to an age where you cannot share your thoughts and feelings with people who have the same shared experiences.

Don't get me wrong. My aunt is doing well. As the matriarch of the family, she gets many visitors and lives in a wonderful retirement home run by the Little Sisters of the Poor. She has lots of friends and keeps busy with various activities.