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i can tell you with my dad there was no way anyone of us could have taken care of him in our home .
usually by the time snf is needed it is well beyond family .
how it typically plays out is a family member gets hurt trying to move 200 lbs of limp flesh if they are moving someone paralyzed from a stroke and they are both in trouble or the person becomes violent with memory issues and someone gets hurt ...
the best way to bust up a family is have one sibling step up to the plate and take in a parent who needs care . odds are the other siblings step back and the battles begin .
usually the person providing the care takes a monetary hit , a career hit , a social hit and maybe even loses a job .
if you have a spouse odds are you can kiss that marriage good bye once the spouse starts on why do we have to do it and sacrifice so much and your brothers and sisters do nothing .
one of the worst things parents can do to their kids is drop their long term care burden on their children .
remember we are talking people who need a snf , not in home care or assisted living .
lieqiang I completely agree. As devastating as a serious illness can become, if one or both of us become nursing home bound then all bets are off anyway. Neither of us would want to do stuff without the other.
That's a very romantic notion that serves the purpose of supporting your thinking. But it still sucks for that spouse -oh hey, you don't want to do fun stuff anyway now that I'm bedridden sooooooo you don't mind turning me every two hours....wiping my butt every day until I die?! And yes, it is the wife who is FAR more likely to be put in this position so I take it with a very large grain of salt coming from a man. Thankfully she's not expected to throw herself on the funeral pyre too!
Quote:
Originally Posted by LTCShop
This is no hyperbole.
I've been a caregiver.
My life did end.
That's a very romantic notion that serves the purpose of supporting your thinking. But it still sucks for that spouse -oh hey, you don't want to do fun stuff anyway now that I'm bedridden sooooooo you don't mind turning me every two hours....wiping my butt every day until I die?! And yes, it is the wife who is FAR more likely to be put in this position so I take it with a very large grain of salt coming from a man. Thankfully she's not expected to throw herself on the funeral pyre too!
Please by no means do you think I want my wife to just not do a damned thing if I am stuck. HELL NO!. I can tell you I will not be just watching my wife deteriorate any more than I expect her. But I can tell you that I would not stray far from her location and if I do it will be with a full understanding and reassurance that should a change in status require an immediate return I promise you I would be on that first flight. We are in a financial situation that we can afford to be this way. I know MJ and LTCshop has tried to sway me otherwise I think I have a better handle on my monetary affairs than they do. They do not know my income though I have intimated it here. reneeh63 I am not ripping back in anger at you or anyone else. What you might think of our "romantic notion" is just family sticking together. We have a purpose and that was each other.
lieqiang I completely agree. As devastating as a serious illness can become, if one or both of us become nursing home bound then all bets are off anyway. Neither of us would want to do stuff without the other.
Who's talking about nursing home care.
Very few people ever stay in nursing homes.
For every 5 people in a nursing home, there are 40 people receiving care at home.
I agree with you that you're not going to need extended care at home.
But what if you did?
What would the consequences be to those you love and for those who love you?
Who's talking about nursing home care.
Very few people ever stay in nursing homes.
For every 5 people in a nursing home, there are 40 people receiving care at home.
I agree with you that you're not going to need extended care at home.
But what if you did?
What would the consequences be to those you love and for those who love you?
The impact financially would be the same. The same assets needed for home care and nursing care for either of us is the same kitty. If it don't come out of one pocket it will come out of the other. We both know our finances better than you do. That doesn't even take into account the emotional impact. But whether or not we were spending 5k per year on LTCi should we even qualify which we have not inquired about yet or we keep our assets as they are and play it by ear is something we are making a conscientious decision knowing full well what the alternative is.
LTCI is insanely expensive and would impact my ability to save for retirement. It gets more expensive every year. I wish I had been aware of plans that were available when I was much younger, as I would have signed up then. But for me, I'll just have to rely on my assets.
LTCI is insanely expensive and would impact my ability to save for retirement. It gets more expensive every year. I wish I had been aware of plans that were available when I was much younger, as I would have signed up then. But for me, I'll just have to rely on my assets.
Your right about sanely expensive but if you signed up much younger, you probably could not have put money into your retirement so person is just screwed either way.
Where does one find an INDEPENDENT LTCi agent - is this person typically available locally or is it more an online website? (I did a quick search for and agent in my vicinity and nothing showed up...so I am guessing they aren't really a local thing?)
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