My husband dresses like a homeless person. (parent, deal, year)
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......He is going to build our home. Big difference. This was our first "talking in depth" meeting and we knew it would take 2 or more hours. It was our first time to make a good impression in that we wanted him to know he was dealing with people who knew what they wanted, had the money to pay for it and expected quality. .......
I don't see any difference, big or little. Why dress up for someone who is going to work for you? What "good impression" are you trying to make with clothing? The clothing has nothing to do with explaining what you want. It has nothing to do with being able to pay for the work. Nor would I except a contractor to adjust his work quality to meet your taste in clothing. You need to select the appropriate contractor, not worry if they like your clothing. Since you are selecting the contractor, not visa versa, would you pay attention to what they wear? I wouldn't. In fact I have a very scruffy looking contractor rebuilding and re-shingling my roof. I did not pick him by looks. I picked him based on a recommendations. He is doing an excellent job in spite of wearing really bad clothing and driving an old heap of a truck. The nice, professional looking contractor the neighbors used did a really bad job.
You simply refuse to even try to understand. And you obviously think anything other than baggy butted jeans and scruffy tennis shoes is "dressing up". I will not engage with you anymore.
Sorry, I did not pay attention to why you wanted to post your complaint on the internet. You said you were interested in hearing from others who agreed with you. I guess any other opinion is just annoying for you.
He's not simply "going to do some construction work for us". He is going to build our home. Big difference. This was our first "talking in depth" meeting and we knew it would take 2 or more hours. It was our first time to make a good impression in that we wanted him to know he was dealing with people who knew what they wanted, had the money to pay for it and expected quality. At the end of the meeting he said how much he appreciated all the preliminary work and decisions we had already made. DH showed up with electrical drawings and entire floor plan with all the changes and additions this kind of home has. We also had a detailed typed list of questions, measurements, and specifications. After the meeting DH took me out to a very nice restaurant for lunch.
I'm sure subsequent meetings will be much more casual. That is fine.
I'm with you! I think I remember a time when men complained about their wife wearing sweatpants all the time. It always bothered me when going out on a date in my younger years and I dressed better than the guy. Scruffy shoes, baggy worn and faded jeans? I bet men would never go out with me again if I dressed like that. It was like I was dressed for the prom and he was dressed as a street urchin!
I see nothing wrong with wanting your man to dress even a little bit better than he is now when going out of the house to run errands, etc.
I think so many people don't take pride anymore in how they look.
And there are those here who don't approve of your dress code for your own husband
Maybe it depends on where he is going to run errands? For instance - if I were going to run errands in an upscale city, I would probably at least wear my "soccer mom" jacket even for a trip to the hardware store. On the other hand, when I go to the hardware store in my local, blue collar town, I wear my beat up Carhardt work jacket. And I fit right in.
You don't seem to want to hear this, OP, but - he is *retired*. So let the man wear what he wants! At least he is groomed and tidy. Plus, maybe he is able to negotiate a better deal from people who feel sorry that he is in difficult financial straits!
I don't see any difference, big or little. Why dress up for someone who is going to work for you? What "good impression" are you trying to make with clothing? The clothing has nothing to do with explaining what you want. It has nothing to do with being able to pay for the work. Nor would I except a contractor to adjust his work quality to meet your taste in clothing. You need to select the appropriate contractor, not worry if they like your clothing. Since you are selecting the contractor, not visa versa, would you pay attention to what they wear? I wouldn't. In fact I have a very scruffy looking contractor rebuilding and re-shingling my roof. I did not pick him by looks. I picked him based on a recommendations. He is doing an excellent job in spite of wearing really bad clothing and driving an old heap of a truck. The nice, professional looking contractor the neighbors used did a really bad job.
The GC we hired was too busy to waste time interpreting potential clients' state of dress (barring the extremes, of course), rather than discussing what was requested. He dressed as we did, very casual and typical of the locale, which tended to not trust dressing up as a barometer of economic status. This was precisely because of what others have stated, that there are very wealthy people who do not show it via their dress. He also drove an older vehicle, as do we. He did an excellent job. When I see too much expensive new equipment, I wonder if the contractor overcharges for the work! or if they are new to the business. I wouldn't rule them out, but it is another example of why asking around, getting references, and looking at the person's history means more than how he or she dresses.
I read some (not all) of the pages here, and I have come to the conclusion that I side with the husband.
But then, I guess that is totally logical. I am 75, retired, former mechanic (on everything from lawn mowers to heavy equipment to aircraft), and I do not own "dressy" clothes.
Every day, every where, I wear jeans, work-style shirts (yes, some are flannel), and Red Wing boots.
My jeans are held up by suspenders, but I also wear a belt with a big brass buckle. The belt is to hold my Leatherman holster; I would be lost without that thing! The brass buckle I found in a thrift store; I liked it, my wife liked it, so we bought it. It has "#1 Dad" engraved on it.
When I retired, I quit shaving. I always hated that, so as soon as I could I quit doing it.
I have no neckties, but I do have a few bolo ties. I seldom wear them.
I wear ball caps as a matter of course. I have other hats, but they just are not comfortable. I never wear my ball caps backwards or sideways.
When I retire I will wear the same things all the time.
Summer give me a pair of khaki shorts, a sport shirt and tennis shoes with white socks. That's it, that is what I want to wear every day all the time except for church and special occasions like weddings and some parties.
I am sort of like that. My favorite "at home" outfit is a pair of my husband's cargo shorts and one of his white tee shirts, flip flops, ball cap.
And yes, engineers are an interesting and challenging breed. Their minds work in very strange ways. It is always a hoot to get together with other wives of engineers to compare notes. Some of the stories are hysterical and most of us have learned how to go with the flow.
Your description of your husband sounds like my close friend, 40 years removed. At 30 he's the same way when not at work.
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