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all 4 of our grand kids are in excellent day care centers . we could not be more happy with them .
their moms do whatever they have to to keep working and their careers going intact . it isn't one or the other , it is a balance of both .
now that is reality .
The reality is that this is a very new thing.
I recall a friend of mine that stayed home with her new borns. Her husband was a doctor and she came from money so it was a very personal choice, and a very easy one to make given her situation. She was an attorney.
She told me that at swim class there was a war between the women that had kids in the class and had a job and the women that had kids in the class but didn't work. She was very upset about the fact, as she saw it, that the career mothers hated the stay at homes and the other way around.
I am glad that you think having a new born in a place where they have to compete for who ever is their mother for the day is a balance (balance of what I do not know). That is excellent! I commend your idea of raising a child like this. It must cost a pretty penny.
But, hey! Money buys everything! Right!
MathJac, we both grew up poor. I get it...
Women need to have the money to call their own shots. I want that for all women. But I do not want an infant without his/her mother for the first year and probably two. Maybe part time so the mother can move back into the workforce without losing her momentum.
Then, we have to look at that Second Shift thing. And the aging parents.
even two years away from the work force should not hurt their career and work record . the issue is the ones that stay home until the kids are school age or longer . ,
I just cannot comprehend what will happen to folks without funds with the proposed federal Medicaid cuts coming, including what that will do to an already floundering skilled nursing facility or home care system. They have already cut back in my state, on top of not expanding Medicaid.
I know quite a few families where Mom or Dad went through their money and then Medicaid picked up their costs. How will that happen with severe cuts? They already are paying the CNAs practically nothing.
I can't imagine how this situation will improve as the baby boomers move through the system.
I am planning when I run out of money to start panhandling.
I figure I should bring in a whole heck of a lot more than I do now, however there is one caveat.
I will have SO MUCH COMPETITION!
Maybe I should start now. Under the table...you know.
even two years away from the work force should not hurt their career and work record . the issue is the ones that stay home until the kids are school age or longer . ,
Agreed
I really hate to say it
Women have to say no to taking care of everybody and everything for no MONEY. A life long income from the spouse is a crap shoot and a gamble at best. Freedom is knowing you can and will stand on your own when the Sh@t comes down.
I have always said that there is nothing more feminist than a few bucks in your pocket. Career or job or whatever, every adult needs to be able to make a living. Even more so if one wants to be a parent. The most successful and responsible husband can get laid off, become ill,whatever. I've always thought it was unfair to put that much pressure on the man as breadwinner with dependents.
True...as unfair as to expect a working woman to shoulder more than half of the kid/household chores.
For women getting the "privilege" of working a "real" job they also got to keep all their other responsibilities, as well. Women were sold a bill of goods and some are still believing it.
Err... Could you rent out your mother for a few days?
LOL, right? I A lot of folks around sure could use her bargaining/persuasive powers. I always swore there were people lined up to give her free stuff, she was that persuasive.
a prime example is a single person who is just below the threshold for getting their social security taxed . they can make the mistake unknowingly of taking just 1k extra from an ira and having that extra 1k get hit with an effective marginal tax rate of 47% . that happens because the extra 1k got their ss taxed . poor planning saw almost 1/2 that extra 1k vanish .
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Hi Mathjak, what would be the correct most advantageous thing to do in the above circumstance?
Women have been expected to do the heavy lifting in the home. It is called the Second Shift. It is still alive and well in this Family Values BS in the country.
Do you really want a care taker that is paid minimum wage to raise your infant! That is absurd. No, grandparents don't always take care of the grands, or should they, given their retirement is now an unpaid 10 hour a day baby sitter.
I do agree that SS appears to side with the married couple, one that stays home and keeps the hearth burning and the man goes out and wins the bread. It is a fallacy and a myth. But SS still coddles that myth.
My parents worked factory jobs for their entire lives...however....my mother was expected to do the second shift. My father said, point blank, that the woman does the home work. He does not. He is the man and he does not do woman's work.
We children also did the Second Shift. School, part time work to pay for living expenses, and chores...lots of them.
Personal choice. My mother gave my father her paycheck until she said no at 37 years of age. She divorced him at 40.
Getting to be married and to build a future together is no longer a personal choice. It is the luck of the draw given our divorce laws and our divorce rates.
I am happy for any couple that can and will make it for the long haul. But it is not reality for most.
Now that is reality.
It's just not economically practical for many women to return to work after having children, especially when you have more than one child. For many women, the childcare costs can make working an even wash or even cost more than the woman's salary. Some women worked in fields that have rotating shifts or nights/weekends work hours. It's hard to find childcare during "off-hours," although there are some 24 hour daycare centers in some locations (not mine). When you hire a babysitter/nanny, you still need a back-up for when the babysitter can't come. When the children reach school age, maybe it gets easier, but sometimes you still need to hire someone to take and pick up children from school or after-school program. And then there are some people who end up having children with special needs. No one expects that, but it happens. Tough trying to find someone willing to take care of a special needs infant or toddler at $10 per hour.
The point is, many women took time out of the workforce never thinking they would end up divorced. So there they are, personal choice or not, on their own with a very small income in their later years. This thread was about running out of money, right? Well, social security shouldn't run out (unless the Republicans achieve their ultimate wet dream), but it can be quite meagre and difficult to live on when it is all you have. I am sure many of the women who took time off are now thinking shoulda woulda coulda, but that isn't going to change their circumstance.
From what I see, the children, if I had had them, are opting not to have more than one child. They continue with their career and they have grandparents that are willing (?) to become the nanny for no pay. There are others that I speak with that could be my grandchildren that actually think they will marry, start a family and never work for a steady paycheck again.
Such a disconnect, it boggles the mind.
Then just as the kid(s) begin college, the grandparents need family assistance. Lord, then we have to add in...are the two that made these children even married to each other anymore, ever married or still alive.
And then I know of women that say no to children period...which is their right.
I agree about the childcare costs. The problem being, given our divorce laws, it is not hard at all to get a divorce now a days. Sure it causes pain but financially it will be very very hard on the woman if she does not have her own money. That is why I think I see so many opting for a career and forgetaboutit to follow your hubby around this green earth to maximize his career. Just cannot do it now. A woman has to have her own money. On the other hand, it is still expected. Just like taking care of the grands and the aging parents.
I did know one doctor and his attorney wife that lived a commuter marriage. Probably not fun, but the kids were raised by a repeat of um pairs, the parents never saw their kids or each other, on the other hand, they were a power couple....enough said. If they had parents that needed them they never said...it was all about the next promotion or the next deal.
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