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Would a company let someone that close to retirement take a sabbatical. For that matter would the company let ANYONE regardless of age take a sabbatical? That seems like a benefit only a very few companies would offer, let alone offering it to someone that close to the end of their career. I would think a company would only offer sabbaticals to someone to refresh their outlook so they could proceed on the second half of their career, not give them 6 months off so they could come back and work only 2 or 3 more years.
Sounds like this is just his nature - his daily gripe that really means nothing. Lots of people do this. Whine and complain, but take away what they are whining and complaining about and they would be lost.
Try not to let it get to you.
You know how women say that when they whine and complain they don't really want a solution, they just want someone to listen? Maybe that is what he wants?
Might be hard to just say "yes, dear", but give it a try.
This reminded me of an old funny movie "If a Man Answers".
The mom gives the daughter a dog training book to use to 'train" her husband to keep him happy. One scene talked about how dogs on a leash just want to take off and do what they want. So in order to make her hubby happy, she goes wherever he wants - the hubby is so happy and excited to finally be able to do what he wants.
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Originally Posted by Weaubleau
Would a company let someone that close to retirement take a sabbatical. For that matter would the company let ANYONE regardless of age take a sabbatical? That seems like a benefit only a very few companies would offer, let alone offering it to someone that close to the end of their career. I would think a company would only offer sabbaticals to someone to refresh their outlook so they could proceed on the second half of their career, not give them 6 months off so they could come back and work only 2 or 3 more years.
Sabbaticals / personal leave is very common in career with high level training / high stress / difficult replacement staff. You need to work out the timing with assignments / projects / company needs, but my employer was / has been terrific. As home schoolers we would take 3 month breaks between international work assignments and difficult projects at work. I have had no fewer than 6 LT leaves in 40+ yrs. Now I am only working 'as-needed', so took a yr off for a RTW, (no guaranteed job on return) and company asked me to come right back for another international assignment.
Sometimes, these threads don't go the direction one expects them to go; but, sometimes, anonymous strangers can provide insightful feedback about things we had not considered.
I agree.
I was forced to retire due to serious health issues (and was dangerously burned-out), but a new medication literally gave me a "new lease on life". After a few months I wanted to return to work, while I could not return to my old job, I started a similar job and I felt like I was a new college grad just starting out (bright-eyed & bushy tailed).
After seven years of working full time in that similar career, I retired a second time, when I became a full time care giver to my disabled spouse, and was very content to "forget about working ever again".
With that prospect for retirement, I think I would also continue to work.
Or maybe just some cheeky humor? LOL
My husband retired two years before I did so I could ease into seeing him all the time. We only saw each other an average of 8 days a month. I saw him every day after he retired and it was a hard adjustment for me because I was used to being alone. Fast forward over a year into my retirement and how much of a joy it is to be with him every day. We are having so much fun together. John was 56 when he retired and I was 58. We both had high octane jobs and I couldn't imagine either of us working at 66. Kill me now.
Retirement is stressful, even if you want it. Some people can't retire and I thought I would have a hard time with the boredom. I hope you find a way to convince your husband to take a month or two off. He may discover that retirement is exactly what he wants. That total freedom is intoxicating.
My husband retired two years before I did so I could ease into seeing him all the time. We only saw each other an average of 8 days a month. I saw him every day after he retired and it was a hard adjustment for me because I was used to being alone. Fast forward over a year into my retirement and how much of a joy it is to be with him every day. We are having so much fun together. John was 56 when he retired and I was 58. We both had high octane jobs and I couldn't imagine either of us working at 66. Kill me now.
Retirement is stressful, even if you want it. Some people can't retire and I thought I would have a hard time with the boredom. I hope you find a way to convince your husband to take a month or two off. He may discover that retirement is exactly what he wants. That total freedom is intoxicating.
I believe you are right! A counter-intuitive finding of some serious studies (going back some years) is that major change in our lives is stressful, even when the changes are seen as desirable and positive.
The "bad" changes are expected to be stressful: Death of a loved one, major illness, job loss, etc. But they found that the "good" changes are too: Marriage (presumably we wanted to marry that partner), promotions at work, moving (even when we look forward to the move), retirement (even when we look forward to it).
As I recall reading in some detail about that many years ago, none of the researchers recommended against making changes - such a recommendation would be rather absurd, would it not? Rather, they were saying to take care of ourselves psychologically at times of major change.
I was seeing DH, who is 66, off to work this morning and as with every morning he was groaning and making faces. I told him, "Look, if you decide you want to stop doing this, we'll find a way to peacefully co-exist without me turning homicidal because you're home all the time."
Then I had a thought. "Why not take a six-month sabbatical? They won't pay you for it but we can afford it. Some time away from the job may be just what you need to make up your mind."
Did you take a sabbatical? Did it help?
I guess there are other employees that could do his work while he is gone? If true then maybe you could try for reduced hours and start a transfer to retirement.
Cheeky humor? Absolutely not. My wife did not talk about having difficulty coexisting. My wife did not talk about becoming homicidal because I would invade her time and space.
She was happy to have me retire and to spend some time together. Both of us had lots of plans for doing things separately and together. I was worried about money. She always said we would find away to live within our means and to enjoy our retirement time of life. Retirement is a great opportunity to do things differently and for couples to come together.
Cheeky humor? Absolutely not. My wife did not talk about having difficulty coexisting. My wife did not talk about becoming homicidal because I would invade her time and space.
I guess you would really have some difficulty with our lunch conversation today.
Me: Would you like me to find a local estate lawyer for you?
DH: Yes, I think so. I need help. [He's the executor of his mother's estate.] I don't need a lawyer to do the paperwork, I just need to be told what to do and when.
Me: OK.
DH: I thought you were talking about getting an estate lawyer for after you kill me.
Me: (thinking) Well, I'm going to need a lawyer then anyway, so I'm hoping to get a 2-for-1 rate. It's pretty much a slam dunk verdict, I think: justifiable homicide. Particularly if the jury is packed with wives of engineers. They'll exonerate me, then they'll take me out for cucumber sandwiches at that cute little tea place on Main.
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