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None of us should judge/disparage anyone else for their activity (the type of activity, the quality and the quantity) as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. The human condition is such that we all have the same 24/7. Our energy is also finite, especially as we age. And most of us don't have unlimited funds either. Therefore we all make choices as to how we live and spend our time. Every choice we make is saying yes to that one thing and therefore no to many others.
The person who exercises constantly may be impressive in terms of the amount of physical activity. But what's being sacrificed? Could be that s/he hasn't read a book in thirty years and does little in intellectual activity.
The person who runs a business or has a fabulous career may be envied as an active person who is doing well in the work world. But it could be that this person doesn't get enough rest and that this may catch up with them. Or maybe they never have any/enough family time.
The social butterfly may be the epitome of an active person, constantly rushing from one social engagement to the next. But s/he may not be giving the time or space to really develop self-knowledge and resilience. I've known very social people who lost all their friends due to divorce or a move...and they were without any resources, internal or external at this point.
The world traveler is active, traversing the world, seeing all sorts of things and meeting people from faraway places. But once again, something else may be sacrificed. Possibly it's something as simple as acquiring the ability to be content and not bored when at home. Maybe they don't take time, energy, or money to really make their home a place where they relish spending time.
I'm a homebody who lives a life I find fulfilling. I get sufficient (for me) physical, mental, spiritual, and social activity...but to many it would appear that I am not getting sufficient social stimulation. And because my time and energy are finite as an introvert I do opt to concentrate on the physical/mental/spiritual and aren't very socially active.
I personally don't like much television and only watch an hour a day. But I don't begrudge those who find more enjoyment in it. I think the only time I get defensive/judgmental about someone else's TV watching is when they criticize me for not knowing the current or past shows or want to focus our social experience together watching a screen (TV, movie, or the coup de gras once when a 50 yo female friend wanted me to watch her play computer games!).
There are some mighty good examples there! My only quibble would be with the first sentence, and that might just be a question of interpretation. I think it's O.K. in some situations to "judge" (come to a conclusion) about someone else's activities or lifestyle even if that person is not hurting anybody else.
Let us posit this example: A retiree gets up in the morning and has to consume some alcohol almost right away to ward off the shakes. The drinking continues off and on for the rest of the day, mostly in front of the TV, until the retiree finally nods off in a stupor in the evening. He or she doesn't leave the house except for necessary shopping and/or other absolutely unavoidable reasons. (And we know what the priority purchase is during the shopping).
I have no particular hesitancy in judging and disparaging that lifestyle. It is sad, deplorable, and a waste of whatever talents and abilities that person may possess. Yet he or she is harming no one else provided there is no drunk driving involved. Shortning his or her own life, yes.
I chose an admittedly extreme example in order to establish the principle that we can legitimately arrive at judgments about other people. Now are we sometimes too quick to judge? Absolutely, as your good examples illustrate. Do we sometimes forget how much others differ from us in their inborn traits and proclivities? Absolutely.
Should I feel badly about watching an incredibly great jazz concert right now being live streamed from Lincoln Center New York City and I'm not a musician who can actually play jazz?
And is my life not being enriched and enlightened by this activity of watching and experiencing transcendence from it?
Last edited by matisse12; 03-12-2017 at 08:10 PM..
None of us should judge/disparage anyone else for their activity (the type of activity, the quality and the quantity) as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. The human condition is such that we all have the same 24/7. Our energy is also finite, especially as we age. And most of us don't have unlimited funds either. Therefore we all make choices as to how we live and spend our time. Every choice we make is saying yes to that one thing and therefore no to many others.
The person who exercises constantly may be impressive in terms of the amount of physical activity. But what's being sacrificed? Could be that s/he hasn't read a book in thirty years and does little in intellectual activity.
The person who runs a business or has a fabulous career may be envied as an active person who is doing well in the work world. But it could be that this person doesn't get enough rest and that this may catch up with them. Or maybe they never have any/enough family time.
The social butterfly may be the epitome of an active person, constantly rushing from one social engagement to the next. But s/he may not be giving the time or space to really develop self-knowledge and resilience. I've known very social people who lost all their friends due to divorce or a move...and they were without any resources, internal or external at this point.
The world traveler is active, traversing the world, seeing all sorts of things and meeting people from faraway places. But once again, something else may be sacrificed. Possibly it's something as simple as acquiring the ability to be content and not bored when at home. Maybe they don't take time, energy, or money to really make their home a place where they relish spending time.
I'm a homebody who lives a life I find fulfilling. I get sufficient (for me) physical, mental, spiritual, and social activity...but to many it would appear that I am not getting sufficient social stimulation. And because my time and energy are finite as an introvert I do opt to concentrate on the physical/mental/spiritual and aren't very socially active.
I personally don't like much television and only watch an hour a day. But I don't begrudge those who find more enjoyment in it. I think the only time I get defensive/judgmental about someone else's TV watching is when they criticize me for not knowing the current or past shows or want to focus our social experience together watching a screen (TV, movie, or the coup de grace once when a 50 yo female friend wanted me to watch her play computer games!).
Should I feel badly about watching an incredibly great jazz concert right now being live streamed from Lincoln Center New York City and I'm not a musician who can actually play jazz?
And is my life not being enriched and enlightened by this activity of watching and experiencing transcendence from it?
Not so different than watching a football game. But do also get out and connect with people and make yourself tired with a long hike or walk.
This from a musician who is learning to play jazz at the local community college.
Thanks, but I can barely walk. No long hikes or long walks. Why would you assume everyone can do so?
And I see a great difference in watching a football game.
And why would you assume I or anyone needs to be told to "get out and connect with people"?
So you turn watching an incredibly great jazz concert being live streamed from NYC's Lincoln Center, with some of the top jazz musicians in the world, into a negative and somehow a deficit. Absurd.
Last edited by matisse12; 03-12-2017 at 09:31 PM..
Thanks, but I can barely walk. No long hikes or long walks. Why would you assume everyone can do so?
And I see a great difference in watching a football game.
And why would you assume I or anyone needs to be told to "get out and connect with people"?
So you turn watching an incredibly great jazz concert being live streamed from NYC's Lincoln Center, with some of the top jazz musicians in the world, into a negative and somehow a deficit. Absurd.
And this ^ is what happens when you start a thread with gross generalizations about doers (good) and watchers (bad), particularly when your reading audience could be anywhere in age from 50 to 100 or more. I think it shows a lack of sensitivity.
The OP premise seems to be ~ "making art" in my basement means I'm less passive, more active, and derive greater enjoyment than my neighbor who travels to attends a lecture on abstract expressionist artists, then meets with friends to discuss the lecture over lunch.
Age, physical limitations, interests, environment, passions, financial resources,personality, ETC all play into one's definition of ''active in retirement'', as said previously. Respecting individual differences works well in marriage and on discussion threads. It's fun and interesting to see what others enjoy and pursue, but that doesn't mean we all have to do the same or suffer admonishment. That's what I found unsettling here.
can't get past the fad word 'active'. haven't liked it since it became a fad word a few years ago! hope another word replaces it soon! the word seems to be inherently condescending or.....something :^)
Yes, I feel the same. There are so many buzz words as to how people live. The word "active" is one of those buzz words that is supposed to be a panacea for getting old.
How about ''engaged in life, etc.''? That ought to cover all bases.
Watching a movie? ''Engaged in...''
Reading a book? ''Engaged in...''
Running on the beach? ''Engaged in...''
Painting a mural? ''Engaged in...''
Cooking a roast? ''Engaged in...''
Talking with your friend? ''Engaged in...''
Basically if you're not sitting or lying and staring mutely into the void, you can be ''engaged in''. Hell, even then you could be living vicariously the adventures of the mind or composing concertos in your head or whatever.
If your mind is gone and you are watching a fly on the wall, then you belong too! It's all good! LOL
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