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I don't see the harm.
Our daughter (my step daughter) moved back in last year at age 48 to catch her breath after a divorce. We have been able to help her a great deal and help get her back on her feet. It's actually been fun - or as much fun as those things can be.
Now, she is buying a house and moving out. We find that it makes us sad.
If the family relationships are good, and the expectations are clear and understood by all, I don't see a problem with it. Your daughter doesn't seem to have shown any signs of being a slacker or moocher yet.
I am biased from my own experience (just like everyone else) - I moved back into my dad's house after undergrad. I lived there for a couple of years and then moved out.I eventually got tired of living with one of my parents, and was ready to go out on my own. I worked full-time while I lived there and he didn't make me pay any house bills or rent (I bought my own food/clothes/etc). I was able to save almost my entire income during that time and it provided me with a nice savings account when I moved out.
It's difficult to find good roommates, particularly at that age. Honestly, I think if I were in the OP's shoes, I would be relieved that my daughter wanted to live in my home, rather than out pursuing a party lifestyle.
So, young adults not living with parents automatically live a "party lifestyle"? Pray tell how and when do they ever learn how to settle down if they always live with their parents? Oh - just until she's married and safely ensconced in her marital home?
Part of living is dealing with other people...she should have done all that stuff in college - roommates, that party lifestyle , wild crazy sex...etc., etc. She should be ready to work and save money now...not in need of her parents.
She is only 27 and already recognizes the advantages of being debt free. That is something to be encouraged.
Yes, my parents started talking to me from a much earlier age than this, but better late than never. When I was 13 I was already saving up money, years in advance, to buy my first car from my parents at a discount from market value that we had pre-agreed on, because "never borrow money to buy a depreciating asset". But again, better late than never. Some people never learn, or need Dave Ramsey to teach them...
So, young adults not living with parents automatically live a "party lifestyle"? Pray tell how and when do they ever learn how to settle down if they always live with their parents? Oh - just until she's married and safely ensconced in her marital home?
Part of living is dealing with other people...she should have done all that stuff in college - roommates, that party lifestyle , wild crazy sex...etc., etc. She should be ready to work and save money now...not in need of her parents.
I didn't say all do, but I remember my 20s, and yes, it is a possibility. I saw it happen a lot, and I'm pretty sure most of those young people wish now that they had spent less on going out and more on paying down debt and saving for a home.
I don't see any indication of this young woman looking for her parents to support her until she finds a man. I just see a young woman who is making wiser choices than many of my friends and I did.
She is only 27 and already recognizes the advantages of being debt free. That is something to be encouraged.
^^^THIS!
I get really tired of some of the things said about young adults today. If they want their own place, they are wasting money and not planning ahead, and if they move back in with their parents to save, they are being coddled.
With the economy being so bad I don't see anything wrong with it and yes you will miss them when they leave the home , I do . I have offered my son our spare bedroom because he is having a hard time dealing with the economy so I told him move back in here with us and get back on your feet and catch your breath . There is no time limit and he will help us in the long run , he likes to do yard work and he likes helping his mom paint and do odd ball projects . I see nothing wrong with it . He has a son but a strained relationship with the mother of his son so he needs a strong wall and I would not mind if any of my kids wanted to move back home . Let her, you will be glad you did .
I would let my daughter move back, IF she is the sort of person you say she is, which is hardworking, congenial and responsible. Have a frank discussion before she moves in, telling her your concerns that she might become too dependent if you all are not vigilant.
If you need the money, charge her rent.
If you don't need the money, charge her rent, and give it to her when she moves out.
I haven't read all of the posts yet but I want to say something from another perspective - I have family members who have always been bailed out in this way by parents and have always been given a spot back in the house without being asked to contribute financially - without fail every one of them has grown up with zero sense of what it's like for others who did not have such advantages.
I don't know if that matters to you, and you sound lovely (as are the parents of these cousins). The kids genuinely have no sense of what reality is for a struggling adult. I feel that they were done a disservice. They are so used to parents paying for them for housing and travel when needed that now they are in their mid to late 20s and can't believe that doesn't happen for others.
If you let her come home, please find a way to get her this knowledge.
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, wild crazy sex...etc., etc. She should be ready to work and save money now...not in need of her parents.
