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The Henny Youngman type of humor is something out of the dark dark ages. It always surprises me that men who are still alive could still be using Henny Youngman type of comedy.
Henny Youngman? Oh yeah... I read about him in history books.
with my brief foray into senior dating, I would say that older men want to replace their previous wife's role with a new body.
They want to do what they enjoyed doing with wife and are more than glad to grill steaks, watch TV movies and head to bed just like before. No romance but comfort.
nice guys but that is how it seemed to me.
I expect that if you were both in some interest group and clicked in that group you might have more of the common interest dating, romantic time and become a couple it might be different.
"My wife said she wanted to go somewhere for dinner she'd never been before... I said 'How about the kitchen?'
Rim shot!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vision67
The only thing she know how to make for dinner...
is Reservations.
I'd say both of these jokes apply far more to women now in their 20's than those currently in their 60's. But, again, after many years of cooking for hubby/family (far more often than eating out), women are kinda tired of cooking. You know, kinda like how men in their 60's are tired of working, and quit! rim shot!
If I became divorced/widowed I would want someone to spend time with. At home or out somewhere on the road. But not ALL my time. I'm fairly independent. I wouldn't want someone to suffocate me.
What m not looking for (the nurse/purse thing goes both ways)
Is to be someone's nurse (I'm talking long term health care not I got the sniffles make me some chicken soup please)
I don't want to be someone's purse.
I don't want to be someone's psychological crutch nor do I want to be involved in your family drama.
I would be looking for a woman who has her finances in order. If I were to remarry and it's a HUGE if, I would have a prenup. So should she. I'm nobody's meal ticket.
I wouldn't care if she has a McJob as long as she has a job. just don't come in the marriage with a ton of debt.
If I became divorced/widowed I would want someone to spend time with. At home or out somewhere on the road. But not ALL my time. I'm fairly independent. I wouldn't want someone to suffocate me.
What m not looking for (the nurse/purse thing goes both ways)
Is to be someone's nurse (I'm talking long term health care not I got the sniffles make me some chicken soup please)
I don't want to be someone's purse.
I don't want to be someone's psychological crutch nor do I want to be involved in your family drama.
I would be looking for a woman who has her finances in order. If I were to remarry and it's a HUGE if, I would have a prenup. So should she. I'm nobody's meal ticket.
I wouldn't care if she has a McJob as long as she has a job. just don't come in the marriage with a ton of debt.
I understand this if you mean the person has a large debt but is not paying it, and is expecting YOU to make it go away. I would not want that for me, either.
I, unfortunately, do have a large debt but I make my monthly payments, have never been late, still have money left over for other things as long as they are within my means of paying.
I have not dated a lot because of my debt. I would not want the man to think that I was looking for a "meal ticket." And any time I have met someone for possible dating/serious relationship, it is one of the first things I tell him. I don't believe in playing those games.
In reflecting on my parents (divorced in the 60's)
Mom never remarried (had long term relationships) and is happily single.
Dad has been married 4 times and is unhappily single and not very clear what he is looking for.
I had a lot to say about this, then deleted it because I don't want to make assumptions.
Maybe it's because I'm female, but it seems like I have heard/read a lot about what women are looking for in a relationship as they age and why they remain single.
Men, not so much. IS there a general theme as to what men want as they age?
Why do men remarry more often than women?
Some personal observations:
Married couples-
Women get a burst of energy and see retirement as an adventure. Men see it as a time to chillax. This causes issues.
Singles-Women are looking for 50/50 partnership a kind of "besties" situation someone who likes them for who they really are, not how they look.
Men are looking for...?
As a single woman who is older, I definitely DO care what a prospective partner looks like. If he's really overweight, looks unhealthy, is unkempt, is scrawny, looks like he drinks too much, I'm not interested in him as a partner.
Men can say what they are looking for, but IMO, from the men I've known who are older and single, I think that men don't do as well alone as women do. For one thing, marriage is more beneficial to men (although they sometimes don't realize it). Women still lose a part of their identity when they marry, and they more often than men go along with what the husband wants (it makes him feel masculine, and some believe that's the way to be for religious reasons). They also have more duties involved in a marriage...maintaining the household, grocery shopping, the neverending cooking and laundry. Men will "help," but in older people, I think the women still bear the brunt of all that. That's not a terrible thing, but you can see how an older single woman might appreciate her freedom.
I also think that men are looking for caretakers in their later years. They are scared of getting sick and being alone. They also still have sex on their minds more than women do, IMO.
I think it's also easier for women to make and maintain friendships in their older years. Women do things together, like go out to eat, go to the movies, go to flea markets (easy & inexpensive things to do). Men are more limited in that, and don't seem to make friends as easily in their older years. So they are lonelier. There are also fewer men for an older man to be friendly with...some still work a lot, and some have passed away. Because women live longer and outlive men, there are more single women for single women to make
friends with and do things with.
So women just do better at the single life. I read a study once that of four groups of people (single men, single women, married men, married women), the rating of happiest to least happy was:
Married men
Single women
Single men
Married women
So you can see why, as a group, single women in their older years aren't dying to move to the bottom of the list, and why single men would want to move up to the happiest spot again.
I understand this if you mean the person has a large debt but is not paying it, and is expecting YOU to make it go away. I would not want that for me, either.
I, unfortunately, do have a large debt but I make my monthly payments, have never been late, still have money left over for other things as long as they are within my means of paying.
I have not dated a lot because of my debt. I would not want the man to think that I was looking for a "meal ticket." And any time I have met someone for possible dating/serious relationship, it is one of the first things I tell him. I don't believe in playing those games.
I wouldn't marry a man with a lot of debt, even if he makes the payments. By the time we get older, all that debt stuff should be whittled down. And he should have a healthy retirement account. Have a reasonable car, and preferably own a home.
If something happens and he can't continue the payments, it wouldn't be my legal responsibility, but how unnerving to just sit to the side and watch his things be repossessed, lose his car, lose his savings, etc., which would affect our standard of living and our relationship.
Of course, "lot" of debt is relative.
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