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I had always planned to retire at age 55, when my full pension from a career in government kicked in. Got a pleasant surprise at age 49, when the retirement plan was changed that would allow me to retire with full benefits (70% of salary) at age 50.
At the time, my husband owned his own profitable contracting company.
I told him the news of my early retirement option and that I planned to take it. At first he said congrats, but that he wasn't ready to retire. I didn't pressure him one way or the other.
After 3 months, he told me he was ready for a new adventure. He started taking steps to sell his business. The month after my retirement we sold our home, threw the golf clubs in our car and hit the road for a cross-country trip, not sure of our final destination.
That was 14 years ago and neither of us regretted our early retirement. But I was glad I didn't push him into selling his company. He built that company over 18 years and it was his decision to make. Of course we were ages 50/51 and I knew that was truly an early retirement age; not sure if I'd felt differently at age 65.
I will say this, while we are both active with no big health issues, we are now aged 64/65 and flying from US to Europe is far more taxing than it was 15 years ago (and we fly business class). I am a firm believer in retiring early, having a few more adventures.
He obviously doesn't want to do it at any age. Whenever I wanted something as a child and would ask my mother, the answer was usually, "later". Of course later never happened.
My husband and I are both 65. I've been working since I'm 15 years old and, during my professional years, I was in sr management positions in corporations and academia, and then ran my own consulting firm while raising 3 children. I now freelance as a consultant part-time, but I'm now feeling it's time to smell the roses, travel, and just live. My husband, on the other hand, has his own security software business (works from home, as I do) and has no interest in travel or "having fun" for another 10 years or more! I keep telling him we are not at an age where anything is guaranteed, especially health, and now is the time to start on that bucket list. He keeps saying...we'll travel in 10 years. Sigh...
What's the best way to handle a situation like this one and have any of you dealt with the same dilemma?
Retire, travel with friends or by yourself.
My husband is a stay-at-home type and when I retire in December, if he doesn't want to go do something, fine, stay at home.
We own a business too. We get paid royalties so unless we sell we will have checks coming till perpetuity.
So why retire? We love what we do. And are good at it. I'd like to work till I'm 70, in good health and look much younger. Like to keep the brain going and meeting new people. Some of this travel is paid for by our business.
DH doesn't want to go places as much as me, he traveled more than me before we got married.
So I travel with friends. Or by myself. Actually meet women traveling alone on cruise ships and make new friends that way.
So get out there and go! He might see how much fun you are having and want to join you.
In 10 more years (if you even get there...who knows what'll happen tomorrow), flying around to visit and explore other places will be more of a burden than if you did it earlier. If he's unwilling to do it and wants to spend his twilight years tied to a desk and computer, that's his prerogative. Go do what you want to do with a friend or by yourself. If your husband thinks it's wasting money, kindly remind him that you can't take your money with you to your grave. That's not to say you should be irresponsible with finances, but it's time to enjoy life!
Thank you all for the great advice. I think I do have to recognize my DH may never want to travel...and I have to get over the feeling that I somehow need "permission" to go do it. Life is short and uncertain--that much I know for sure--and we all need to "carpe diem," because if we don't, we'll have regrets and have noone to blame, but ourselves!
Life is short! There are numerous Women's Travel companies. You may meet a new travel buddy. My DH and I are going on our 1st Rick Steves Tour and from what I've read - many women travel independently on these tours also. Start planning a trip. Who knows - your DH may decide to join you and if not - make the best of your new adventure.
Do any of you who fly to Europe or Asia have qualms and fears about flying due to terrorism on planes?
The latest being that terrorists plan to put explosives into the batteries of laptop computers or tablets, which is why the very recent ban on carrying computers on airplanes has been instituted by some airlines.
Fear of terrorism could be one reason why crillon's husband does not wish to travel to Europe, even if he does not admit it and even if he does not speak about it.
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