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Honestly, I'm exhausted with the challenges I face as a low income senior. Yes, I'm educated, smart, resourceful, etc. I don't expect anyone to take care of me. Yet, it would be nice if someone just once in a while asked me if I was okay, or if I had enough - I mean friends and family.
Do you have enough on your own? Can you afford to pay someone to help you move heavy things? To move? Etc.?
Do you have any loved ones who ask if they can help? Do they?
I don't. And it's really affecting my happiness and peace of mind tonight, honestly. If I could afford to pay people, maybe it wouldn't bother me as much. But, it's hard not to keep score with people who I have helped, who are now supposedly too busy to help me.
I'm betting I'm not the only senior with this issue.
Honestly, I'm exhausted with the challenges I face as a low income senior. Yes, I'm educated, smart, resourceful, etc. I don't expect anyone to take care of me. Yet, it would be nice if someone just once in a while asked me if I was okay, or if I had enough - I mean friends and family.
Do you have enough on your own? Can you afford to pay someone to help you move heavy things? To move? Etc.?
Do you have any loved ones who ask if they can help? Do they?
I don't. And it's really affecting my happiness and peace of mind tonight, honestly. If I could afford to pay people, maybe it wouldn't bother me as much. But, it's hard not to keep score with people who I have helped, who are now supposedly too busy to help me.
I'm betting I'm not the only senior with this issue.
I'm on the opposite end of the issue from you. While not well-to-do, I am comfortable enough to be able to help others, which I do with both institutional donations (such as to the Salvation Army) and personal help. The latter is limited by the responses I get. I have several cousins who hardly have two nickels to rub together. Not only do they constitute a bottomless pit of continual mismanagement, but there has been no thanks forthcoming for specific help which I have tendered.
One cousin needs his teeth fixed. I offered through his sister to donate $2000 for that purpose, and I was seeking a way to be sure the money would actually be used for the dental work. The word came back that the dental work was simply not a priority at the moment. So be it.
Another time (and another cousin) I gave $200 for Christmas gifts to a cousin who is raising her grandchildren in very tight financial straights. In my mind, social graces require that the kids (grandchildren) write thank-you notes. That never happened.
The foregoing are only two examples; there are others.
Whenever we get together socially at a restaurant I pay for the meal of any cousin whom I know to be near destitute.
Two important points: First, I am not suggesting that you are, or would be, guilty of the same lack of graciousness and gratitude that I have experienced. I am simply relating my own story which relates to the thread topic.
Second, I suspect there are those who will come forward to say I am wrong to expect the same social graces on the part of my needy cousins that I would follow if I were in their shoes. Maybe so, but it's my money and I don't have to give it to the ungrateful if I don't care to. I have made an adequate showing of my good will.
I'm not close to that (need for others to help me). It might be another 20-30 yrs. But I feel that it would be my own fault as I haven't invested in or nurtured relationships enough to expect the help.
I randomly assist strangers or offer assistance to people I barely know or vaguely know. But in my family, you really are expected to be self-sufficient.
Where I live (retirement communities in FL), there really seems small local businesses/contractors/mom and pop companies that cater to those in need (moving, shopping, house cleaning, various other assistance). The community also has a variety of other support in place (rides to health care, around town, for example).
When people decide where to retire, this is something to consider.
My main issue is having someone to workout the details of my estate, burial, close up the loose ends when my time comes (ie sell the house, execute the will, disperse the finances left over). I haven't really investigated, but I'm sure there are law firms who you can contract with (elder law) who will do this for you.
I am a single woman with no children. Most of my family have passed away. I'm essentially alone in life. It's a part of my retirement planning to have money for house cleaners and other personal services.
I think the biggest key is to minimize and simplify your life before you retire. That way no major moves, no big house projects, etc.
As far as keeping score on people, how will that help you in the end? Have you even asked for help?
We have no children and do not live near any siblings or their offspring. We did navigate my FIL through his final days, with little help from others in the family. They all thanked us for doing what we did for their father and we are all on good terms.
Our plan for our final days are to live out our years in Mexico where we can afford to hire fulltime help and stay in our home.
In fact we bought a home at Lake Chapala and will close/settle on it in 3 weeks! We specifically bought a one story home with a separate casita for live-in help should that be needed.
For now we will spend half our time in US, half in Mexico (we are 64/65 years old).
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