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Since I was a young'un I've had a dream of living in a foreign country, I can't overemphasize how much this notion has shaped the basic outline of my life & all my important life choices. You either have the wanderlust or not, it was really only later in adult life I realized what environmental forces formed this notion in my young brain: always wondering what is on the other side of the hill. It's fundamental, though lessened through time & experience.
Now that I am retired & still not living like Gardner McKay in "Adventures in Paradise" (anyone else remember?) I wonder if I will ever make that jump. I have an older parent nearby & a good $$$ deal on a condo in one of the world's greatest cities, but taxes always go up & I wouldn't mind an outdoor space to grill & sip a G&T. I've lived in several time zones & visited many places & have a few in mind but wonder if I'll go & start over again... probably not being able to learn a new language or deal with glacial bureaucracies to get simple things done? I have learned that vacation places don't equal living places mostly. I probably will end up in a cheaper city in the US somewhere but I still scout out places abroad for compatibility when I travel & recent political events in the US make the idea of leaving more appealing.
Since I was a young'un I've had a dream of living in a foreign country, I can't overemphasize how much this notion has shaped the basic outline of my life & all my important life choices. You either have the wanderlust or not, it was really only later in adult life I realized what environmental forces formed this notion in my young brain: always wondering what is on the other side of the hill. It's fundamental, though lessened through time & experience.
I always said I would go to Africa, stay at the Karin Von Blixen estate and spend weeks touring the jungles, having a Masai guided tour of the Savannah and seeing all the animals. Each penny I socked away was with the thought of "someday" I will do this.
A few months ago I saw an article on the web about a dream tour of Africa. It was a three week trip. It included every single thing I ever wanted to do, down to the Masai guided tour.
Then I saw the price tag (and that didn't include all the airfare and the fact I would have three weeks of no pay from my job) and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was never going to get to do this. Not in this life. It was absolutely devastating to me. I had to go to the ladies room until I could compose myself enough to go back to work.
Don't all jump up and say if you really want to do this you'll find a way and there's always time and it ain't over until it's over -- blah, blah, blah. I am a total realist and practical person. This will not happen for me and it's sad and this is the last time I'm going to think about it
I always said I would go to Africa, stay at the Karin Von Blixen estate and spend weeks touring the jungles, having a Masai guided tour of the Savannah and seeing all the animals. Each penny I socked away was with the thought of "someday" I will do this.
A few months ago I saw an article on the web about a dream tour of Africa. It was a three week trip. It included every single thing I ever wanted to do, down to the Masai guided tour.
Then I saw the price tag (and that didn't include all the airfare and the fact I would have three weeks of no pay from my job) and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was never going to get to do this. Not in this life. It was absolutely devastating to me. I had to go to the ladies room until I could compose myself enough to go back to work.
Don't all jump up and say if you really want to do this you'll find a way and there's always time and it ain't over until it's over -- blah, blah, blah. I am a total realist and practical person. This will not happen for me and it's sad and this is the last time I'm going to think about it
I would have gone with you. Now I know what I am going to do this afternoon....... watch Out of Africa and look for a documentary on her life
... I am a total realist and practical person. This will not happen for me and it's sad and this is the last time I'm going to think about it
There’s something to be said for realism. And per the discretion-is-the-better-part-of-valor theme from earlier in this thread, there is value in considering that by having gone on that trip to Africa, one might have caught some dreaded disease, been subjected to violence or the caprice of nasty local law-enforcement, or have some other disaster happen. By staying at home, one avoids that unpleasantness. And besides, what if one encounters squalor, truculence and blight, instead of gorgeous vistas or exotic animals? Then that beautiful illusion of exoticism is ruined. Isn’t there value in being allowed to retain our beautiful illusions?
(I got this from LinkedIn, and did not vet it - but seems to pass the ha-ha test)
At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA. At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job. At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer. At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school. At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare. At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter. At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs. Julia Child released her first cookbook at age 39, and got her own cooking show at age 51. Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure skating team, didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue, and designed her first dress at age 40. Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 40. Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career and landed his first movie role at age 42. Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first major movie role until he was 46. Morgan Freeman landed his first major movie role at age 52.
This is arrantly true! Quite possibly, the mistakes that we made, carried a negative opportunity cost: by thwarting and diverting us, they forestalled the making of even greater mistakes. And the chances that we failed to take, were the “failure” to ruin ourselves through excess indulgence or ambition. For example, by never getting the chance to competitively drive race-cars, I may have precluded a severe injury. By never trying to start my own business, I may have cleverly avoided bankruptcy.
The life not lived, is also the life not suffered.
Love this. It also ties in with "be careful what you wish for." I always regretted not being able to have my own biological kids, so we adopted two older siblings when we were in our early 40's. Big mistake for us and almost certainly for them, too. However, had we not done so, I would have lived with even more regret, and who is to say that our children's lives would not have been even worse without us?
I always thought that if I could have had just one personal and selfish wish granted when I was younger (other than for lifelong perfect health until I was 75 or so), that it would be to know where I would find my greatest happiness so that I could concentrate on that and forget the rest.
Last edited by katharsis; 04-28-2017 at 06:03 PM..
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
Your post made me chuckle a little. I know a commercial pilot who is retiring. The wife is encouraging him to by a stunt plane for his retirement hobby, because she wants his big Harley GONE as his hobby! I guess we each see the risk of different activities differently....
We went through that motorcycle stage too I swear it was like raising a teenager with his constant need for that adrenaline rush. He gave up his motorcycle license for my birthday one year. I used to dread when motorcycle accidents were coming in our ER. It was usually pretty gruesome. It was the best birthday present ever for me. One year he bought a new H&K P7 on my birthday for work, but I told him it would be mine when he retired. It was a much safer gun for him and we were pretty poor at the time. It was worth it for me. I'd much rather see him come home every night. I can see a commercial pilot retiring to something that would be childs play after flying jets for a living, but for someone you know is too reckless to be detail oriented. I'm glad to see that motorcycle gone though, for both of them. "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes well you might find, you get what you need." Rolling Stones. Life is usually about trade offs. Regrets? Yeah, they're there, but not so serious if you keep them in perspective.
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I swear it was like raising a teenager with his constant need for that adrenaline rush. He gave up his motorcycle license for my birthday one year. I used to dread when motorcycle accidents were coming in our ER. It was usually pretty gruesome. It was the best birthday present ever for me. One year he bought a new H&K P7 on my birthday for work, but I told him it would be mine when he retired. It was a much safer gun for him and we were pretty poor at the time. It was worth it for me. I'd much rather see him come home every night. I can see a commercial pilot retiring to something that would be childs play after flying jets for a living, but for someone you know is too reckless to be detail oriented. 
I'm glad to see that motorcycle gone though, for both of them. "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes well you might find, you get what you need." Rolling Stones. Life is usually about trade offs. Regrets? Yeah, they're there, but not so serious if you keep them in perspective.
