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The place my dad was didn't look bad, but by the time he arrived, he wouldn't have noticed. He didn't know me anymore. When I visited, him asking once in a while who I was, he complained that people came in at night and did strange things to him. And sometimes he'd not see me and was talking with the strange visitors.
They fed him and he ate and he arrived with failing health, and I don't think he really noticed how good or bad it was. I'd sit in the car for a while before I could go in, sealing myself for him not remembering who I was anymore. I wouldn't doubt that there was more chance of disease with the number of people, but given he was failing fast, I don't think it made a difference.
We got a call he was dying, and came. He was out but I told him I loved him and held his hand. His heart failed that night. He was already shutting down that evening. For me it was the release he would want.
I know if he'd been 'there' and if there was a way, I'd have tried to do something else, but the man who was Dad had already gone, and only his body remained, still breathing.
My greatest fear isn't that I'll someday leave this plain of existance, and pass on to another, but do not want to go too late.
I often wonder how many nursing home residents are conscience of their surroundings. It's interesting that complaints seem to always originate with families, outside regulatory agencies, or the media. I've never heard of an uprising among residents, like say one does with prison inmates. This leads me to believe most residents are unaware, or simply are complacent considering the alternative is death. On the same note, I never hear of suicides in nursing homes either.
It seems everyone is concerned about nursing home conditions, except the residents themselves.
I often wonder how many nursing home residents are conscience of their surroundings. It's interesting that complaints seem to always originate with families, outside regulatory agencies, or the media. I've never heard of an uprising among residents, like say one does with prison inmates. This leads me to believe most residents are unaware, or simply are complacent considering the alternative is death. On the same note, I never hear of suicides in nursing homes either.
It seems everyone is concerned about nursing home conditions, except the residents themselves.
Baltimore County police and state authorities are investigating a Lansdowne assisted-living home after it was determined 16 people were living in the facility that is licensed by the state for four beds, police said.
I often wonder how many nursing home residents are conscience of their surroundings. It's interesting that complaints seem to always originate with families, outside regulatory agencies, or the media. I've never heard of an uprising among residents, like say one does with prison inmates. This leads me to believe most residents are unaware, or simply are complacent considering the alternative is death. On the same note, I never hear of suicides in nursing homes either.
It seems everyone is concerned about nursing home conditions, except the residents themselves.
There's some truth to this, as I still work part-time in a Long-Term Care/Rehab facility.
What the family members don't realize, by riding the staff continually, threatening lawsuits, is that one day, dear old Dad or Mom goes to the hospital, and when ready to be released, the facility they left will say: Sorry, no vacant beds!
Their way of saying, we don't want nothing to do with those family members again!
And then? Calls are made to all the facilities in the area, begging them to take their dear old Dad or Mom, and if you were in Admissions in these facilities, what would go through your head?
"If the those at the facility they left, considered this patient to be a model patient, and model family members, they'd do anything to readmit this patient! I think I'll pass!"
And, true, many aren't even conscious of where they are, as I've asked some patients if they knew of where they were and they're clueless!
I was called from the facility early this evening, begging me to come in as they were short (What's new!!!). Well, last night, they were short, and I had to take on 10 extra patients, and at age 67, sorry, I was still trying to recover from the night before!
Why don't they just call Agency and there'd be an aide there in record time? Because they want to save the money, much of it goes to a bonus for the Administrator at the end of the year. Medicare/Medicaid won't even send a patient to a facility that doesn't have a budget for Agency!
If I should end up in one of these facilities, I'll scream and yell continually until I get the required pain meds to forget where I am!
When we lived in Mexico from 2008-2012, there was an elderly British lady living across from us; her son lived on the same street.
She started with part-time care, days only and as she aged it proceeded to in-home care with more and more help. She and her family were and are, quite particular. She had wonderful care. She died a few years after we left Mexico at age 93.
Because we live in an area that has a lot of retired CDN, Euro and US expats, there is a burgeoning business in both in-home care, and assisted living and nursing homes. We prefer and have planned for on-site care-takers such as my neighbor had.
BTW...the assisted living and nursing homes here are far nicer than any I've seen in the US. They average about 1300 USD a month for assisted living and up to 2,000 USD a month for nursing home care. These quotes are from facilities owned and operated by US or CDN expats. There are others owned by MXN nationals that I have heard are less expensive but do not know the details.
I often wonder how many nursing home residents are conscience of their surroundings. It's interesting that complaints seem to always originate with families, outside regulatory agencies, or the media. I've never heard of an uprising among residents, like say one does with prison inmates. This leads me to believe most residents are unaware, or simply are complacent considering the alternative is death. On the same note, I never hear of suicides in nursing homes either.
It seems everyone is concerned about nursing home conditions, except the residents themselves.
My grandmother had a stoke, and was unable to walk, and had difficulty speaking. But the one week she spent in a nursing home she did. The staff did the minimum if that. There was nothing wrong with her mind. She was getting therapy for her body. But if she'd stayed there, I doubt she'd have WANTED to go on.
If the employees attitude is these are old people and we just do our job like they were cardboard cutouts, nobody will notice, then it is ABUSE. It's saying you're too old or too sick and there's no reason to care. Its saying they have no real discernable value except without them being there the employees wouldn't be working. So just skim over the minimum....
My grandmother left the nursing home and went to my aunt's house, and had a room of her own. She got to sit in her chair and share the evening with the family. My aunt made sure the therapist came and she got where she could stand and walk short distances. We came to visit regularly so she didn't lose her connection with the people who mattered in her life.
She died of a major stroke, quite suddenly, but she LIVED before that, even if she couldn't do all she'd done, and she knew she was cared for and about and loved. After she had the stoke, someone from family came to visit regularly as well. I imagine if a patient has family visitors, its in the employees interest not to have a complaint.
When dad was in the home, he didn't even remember who I was, and lived in his own imaginary world. He wouldn't have noticed, but as his life as he percieved it was still taking cues from reality, I think he would reflect it. He wasn't in our world, but he was happy in the one where all the people loved and lost were with him.
If a family member believes abuse or lack of real care exists in a nursing home, it should be investigated and said employees fired, not allowed to work for another. We owe respect and care to EVERY member of our society, no matter how old or young.
When I'm old and its my time, I want to pass in my bed, with my pets and maybe some family. No hospitals. No 'homes'. I'd rather not linger so long over lingering in misery.
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