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I was a military brat, so I've been a lot of places, but after 25 years in the San Francisco Bay Area I'm seriously thinking of retirement in Canada, in the Ottawa area. That's where I went to high school, and I have family and friends there. As for home, the only place that has ever felt like home is where my cats are.
That sounds like a good fit after being away for so long
One does not need to be "very elderly" to have zero or no remaining family. I was 61 when both of my parents died and 65 when my brother died.
And plenty of us do not live in our home town where we grew up or where we attended high school or where we lived after attending university.
And plenty of us have very very few relatives - and/or most of them are distant, not living anywhere nearby.
And many older people find themselves without many connections - not just when they have "recently moved to an area". It's a product of today's society.
Oh Matisse.. you Zen master you.
So true, so sadly true. Its like we are the only ones hearing the music.
Life doesn't feel homey, rather it feels like I am slowly vanishing.
Hi there,
Well, what are your passions? iow the kinds of activities you can not help but continue enjoying... do Understand your passions go with you, wherever you may roam, so you're always 'home' &
then
just connect with others also passionate be it Gardening, or Sports, or a Book-club, or whatever... God wants you to have fun...
If you do not have an adventurous spirit and new adventures and new opportunities are not appealing,
maybe move back to your "roots". Don't be surprised it that turns out different than you expect also.
Most of us find we cannot live in the past even if we might want to.
Actually I treasure... significant childhood experiences, that helped me be who I am today. For example
1. my love of plants to grow, & look at, & eat
2. my love of God/Jesus Christ, & our personal relationship
3. my love of sports (then it was gymnastics, snow-skiing, & sprinting). Now my passion: Iceskating
4. my love of learning, & experimenting, & asking ever more questions
Additionally,
as another "adventurous spirit, I do seek out new adventures and new opportunities".
It is the lack of people with whom to interact with that causes that feeling of 'disappearing'. It can come from moving away from where you know people, from no longer having work colleagues, from no longer meeting people at church or a club, and so forth. If we do not interact on a more than superficial basis, we may as well disappear, and it will feel like it. Everyone is in their own little world it seems.
Yep!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar
I've been in the same spot for about forty years but I know what you are saying I think. I am slowly becoming invisible.
That is not always a bad thing. Young people would be surprised at how much amusement you can have when people aren't noticing you.
40 years living in the same place. Me too. That's rare these days.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb
I absolutely know I am vanishing ! I was always 5'5" all my life. Today I am 5'1". I guess that's called vanishing (or shrinking). LOL
LOL Me too. Just wish I was vanishing horizontally instead of vertically.
I have a serious question to throw out if you want to volley.
For those of you who have moved very far from your roots..
does the distance feel greater than the miles?
I live in a different state from where I grew up.
Life doesn't feel homey, rather it feels like I am slowly vanishing.
I wish I could relate to how you feel. I left home at 17 and went 2000 miles away from the Midwest to California. Never, ever regretted it. That was over 40 years ago.
I went back to live with my mom for a couple of months in 2012 and discovered the further away from her I was, the happier we both were. She's the only one of the family I talk to now. My brothers have more or less disowned me and I don't really know any of the other relatives.
Besides leaving home at 17, two other times I've had to pick up and move to a totally strange place where I didn't know anyone. When I retire, I plan to travel around the country and see if I can find any other place I might want to settle in permanently besides where I'm currently at. I might be settling in a strange place once again, but when you settle into a new place, you bring yourself and your personality. Then you make new friends and move on with your life.
OP, it sounds more like you're looking for an earlier time, not an earlier place. Childhood is gone and it's not coming back. So stop looking backwards and look ahead. You have to make your own "homey" feel now.
For some people, not having an automatic mixing with people every day which work provided, can make one feel as if they are disappearing or somewhat invisible or lacking identity or lost or lonely or isolated.
For some or many, it was the automatic daily mixing with people at work which provided a sense of place or of purpose - all with no effort to find people to mix with.
I do agree that one needs to create one's own sense of home.
Last edited by matisse12; 05-11-2017 at 05:31 PM..
I disappeared from my childhood hometown about 1980. I didn't disappear slowly, I bagged it for oil field work in Texas, then for nuclear work in Idaho, Colorado, Iowa, and eventually here in Washington State. Never looked back.
Never had much in common with the dimwits I went to high school with anyway. They have disappeared from my "screen" too. I don't miss them.
I feel more at home where I live now that I did where I grew up.
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&
be it Gardening, or Sports, or a Book-club, or whatever... God wants you to have fun...
