Do you ever feel like you know more dead people than live ones? (friends, years)
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No, not really. Although for my age about 5.4 times as many friends with have passed as should have based on the averages. If anything it allows you to be better at both cherishing the moment and allowing you to let go.
Maybe get a pet to keep you company?
I am hoping to start an interesting discussion on CD, nothing more.
I rescue dogs and enjoy plenty of human company, thank you!
Well, this year we've lost two people (one old and one young) that are related to us and one older friend (not a close friend, but still...). It's also getting harder to relate to how our country, its ways and its people have changed. I also dread to see what the future will be like.
Of course, I am practically 80. Most of the people I knew well or were related to are deceased
.
One reason I have no desire to be 80. I certainly don’t want to outlive most of my friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy
This is why I try to have a broad range of friends ,but it isn't easy.
One “hobbie” I took up after retiring was getting more connected with people and my community. In the last year year, I’ve made two new real friends and am getting to know other people. It isn’t easy, but is doable. And so worth it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow
My mom used to say that when she was in her 80's. Not true so far for me. Most of my family is dead but my friends are still alive and kicking!
Yes! Thus my “hobbie”. Planning for the future and enjoying new friends
And to the OP, more alive than dead. Most of the dead were family.
And I am only 62. But I counted them up one day and the number of friends and family who are deceased far out number the ones remaining ''above ground''.
I remember talking to my then 90 year old mother-in-law a few years before her passing in 2006 and she told me that she really didn't mind dying now because she ''didn't know anybody anymore from my crowd'' as she called them.
I am starting to feel this way some days myself.
Yes, I am in your position, & I’m less than 5 years older than you, & it started years ago.
Part of it was due to being born to older parents, with my only sibling, who I was very close to, being much older than me. So, I lost family at a younger age than most.
Many of my friends, the long-term, deep friendships, died relatively young. Many were from my small home town, a very toxic place...if you stayed, or went back, you died young. Of course, my best friend of 50 years is alive, but did something unspeakable, so is dead to me.
I had a lot of coworker friends who have died in the past 10 years.
We relocated to a new state, in a small town where there are a lot of “lifers” who do not need new friends, & others are just plain unfriendly, many are transplants. Oddly, they are the worst.
Really, if my hometown was not so awful (crime, climate, economy), I would move back for the familiarity.
So, I certainly understand, and empathize. At our age, you don’t make true friends anymore, just superficial acquaintances. When family dies, that’s it.
Oh, for those of you who are not experiencing this, please don’t brag about all the people you know, that solves nothing. You’re not special & it does not help anything but your ego. Suggestions re volunteering, getting a pet, are irrelevant to the topic, this is not Dear Abby. As OP stated, they opened the thread for discussion only.
Last edited by MarciaMarshaMarcia; 10-08-2017 at 04:59 PM..
yep, at 69 years old I figure it's typical for my age..lots of coworkers from 30 years on the job..lots of old friends from way back in the day..dead and gone..at my age you can't make 'lifelong' friends..I miss them all..
Out of close friends and family I do know more dead people than live ones even though I keep making new friends. New friends don't know me from my prime and I don't know them that way either. We only know each other as retired people.
When my grandfather was 90 he had a heart attack. Physician was pressuring him to get a pacemaker. Grandfather refused. Said everyone his age was dead except his friend "old Herb" who was a few years younger so he was ready to go. He died a week later. He could have lived longer because before the heart attack he was never ill and always active but would he have been happy or just waiting for the end?
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