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Old 12-29-2017, 11:57 AM
 
2,212 posts, read 1,066,787 times
Reputation: 1381

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
This remark is for a few of the above posters.

Geeze. The only thing you can "see" in my post is the word DREAM.

So, I didn't use what you consider to be correct word. Really??

You can use whatever word you want in YOUR post. This one is MINE. And I know how I DEFINE the word dream.

Geeze.

I don't see any post saying you used the wrong word.
And some posts, like mine for instance, are comments on a post other than yours.
Not all posts in this thread are directed to you personally.
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Old 12-29-2017, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Redwood City, CA
15,242 posts, read 12,836,963 times
Reputation: 54012
Quote:
Originally Posted by skycaller23 View Post
I don't see any post saying you used the wrong word.
And some posts, like mine for instance, are comments on a post other than yours.
Not all posts in this thread are directed to you personally.
No kidding.

The OP asked us what we thought. Not what we thought about her situation.

But what do I know? When I want something badly, I find a way to get it or do it. Always have. I would mention "dreams" I have achieved but I don't want anyone to take it personally.

Last edited by fluffythewondercat; 12-29-2017 at 12:28 PM..
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Old 12-29-2017, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Redwood City, CA
15,242 posts, read 12,836,963 times
Reputation: 54012
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johanna25 View Post
When I see an older person in a sporty car, I think, "Good on 'em." It's better than driving an ugly tank of an SUV. Why not enjoy the drive if you've got the means in your old age? you don't have to drive at sports-car speeds to feel the superb handling and enjoy the wind in your hair and the stars above. What's there to ridicule?
Exactly.

And many high-end sports cars now have assistive features that actually make them safer to drive for people whose reflexes may have slowed a touch or whose attention may have drifted a bit.

Even my Mercedes-Benz Sprinter has these features.
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Old 12-29-2017, 12:34 PM
 
12,050 posts, read 10,192,862 times
Reputation: 24772
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaDL View Post
The OP asked: "Have any of your dreams changed? Something you thought you really wanted, didn't get, now settle for other."

My answer is a big NO.

I have wishes and goals but never dreams. My personal definition of dream is something fanciful, unrealistic, not attainable - the bolded words in the dictionary definition below

definition of dream

1 : a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep had a dream about climbing a mountain gives me bad dreams — compare rem sleep
2 : an experience of waking life having the characteristics of a dream: such as
a : a visionary (see 1visionary 2a) creation of the imagination : daydream the dreams of her youth[b]
b : a state of mind marked by abstraction or release from reality : reverie walking around in a dream
c : an object seen in a dreamlike state : vision a man that was her dream come true
3 : something notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality - the new car is a dream to operate
4 a : a strongly desired goal or purpose- a dream of becoming president
b : something that fully satisfies a wish : ideal a meal that was a gourmet's dream

I remember the OP had cited the phrase "if you want the ocean don't settle for the stream" heard from an inspirational speaker. IMO, if this 'want' is attainable with some efforts, it is a goal. If it is unrealistic, unattainable then it is a dream.

I don't like the term 'settle' because of the connotation of being unfulfilled and disappointed. Bottom line is that I have never followed the above advice!

I am an optimistic person and can state that throughout my life, I pretty much get what I had wished or wanted. My wishes, wants or goals have always been attainable for two reasons. First, I never wish or set any lofty, unreachable goals way beyond my capabilities, efforts and means. Secondly, I make efforts to achieve my goals but constantly assess the situation to make appropriate changes (both downscaling and upscaling). Since I never felt that I had 'settled' for something less, I always feel fulfilled, contented and satisfied. So since all my wishes have always been fulfilled, one can say that I have attained my 'dreams' as per 4b definition. However, I have never considered any of my 'rubberband' wishes as dreams ;-)

Each person is different. If I was the OP who had always dreamed of living near the oceans or lakes and to travel but thought those dreams are now way beyond her financial means and physical abilities, here is what I would do:

1. Scale down the 'dreams', wishes or goals.

- Instead of living by the oceans or lakes, how about just take a vacation at a place with ocean or lake front?
- Instead of travel coast-to-coast or to a far flung destination requiring flying (which she does not want to do) or long distance driving (expensive and could be too much for a senior woman), how about just to take mini vacations, driving to nearby parks, lakes and staying there for a short time.

I believe that the OP lives in upstate NY in the Finger Lakes region. There are many beautiful lakes and parks to explore. I just did a quick check for lake vacation rental and found this one for $100/night.

https://www.vrbo.com/617759

2. Find ways to achieve your scaled down dreams, wishes or goals.

Let's say if I was in the OP's situation and wanted to vacation at the above cottage but thought that $100/night minimum 2 nights was too much. Here is what I would do

- Try to find a travel mate to share the cost.
- Try to put aside a bit of money here and there towards the goal such as substituting a banana or a fruit for ice cream for dessert, cancelling or scaling down cost of subscriptions, postponing buying some items etc.

3. Never think of scaling down or making necessary adjustments as 'settling for something less'. Think of the glasses are half full and not half empty. This is the secret of my contentment or 'life success'.

Again, these are the things that I would do and not what I suggest the OP or others to do.
I like the advice of scaling back the "dream". Mini vacations can be very invigorating.
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Old 12-29-2017, 01:08 PM
 
13,395 posts, read 13,420,258 times
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Dreams change as we change. Only you can determine if you've given up vs moving on to new dreams.
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Old 12-29-2017, 01:20 PM
 
17,004 posts, read 21,686,573 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinbrookNine View Post

My (now entirely late except for me) family consisted of 4 boys and 2 parents (typical in most every way). My mom's lifelong dream was to one day, lead the hokey pokey at her son's wedding reception. Drat. None of us ever married. 3 never cared much for girls and one just went West coast hippie.

Poor thing. Despite all the nudging and matchmaking attempts, she went to her deathbed never getting to do that lead the hokey pokey thing. I do sorta feel guilty.

.
My buddy had a nutty girlfriend that really wanted to get married. He is early 40's, never married so I didn't expect him to jump to the task. Girlfriend was a live in but it was his house. She had an old grandma that was looking to see her get married so her reasoning was, we need to get married before grandma dies!

Well grandma died, a week later she tells him that he killed her grandma......by not proposing and marrying her! Grandma couldn't wait any longer......Well that was the end of the relationship, she got booted to the curb.

I still kid him to this day when he is talking about the latest girlfriend, I always ask, "Is her grandma healthy?"
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Old 12-29-2017, 01:27 PM
 
17,004 posts, read 21,686,573 times
Reputation: 29091
Dreams do change, I do believe the two travesties in life are getting what you want and of course not getting what you want!

Money and health can come and go quickly. I think one of the worst things is waiting "until retirement" to do something that you might not be able to do at that later age.

I had a friend die of cancer at age 54, his last accomplishment was taking his daughter back to Europe. His saddest realization, he would never see her graduate, never see her marry, never get to be a grandfather to her kids. He said, forget about what you saved for (retirement), what plans you had (they are not happening) and while he put up a remarkable fight the reality was he was dying.

He died over 10 years ago and I still think of him often, think of our last conversation! I hope I get to accomplish more things in life and have less plans "on the drawing board!"
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Old 12-29-2017, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
30,271 posts, read 16,025,879 times
Reputation: 43995
I used to dream of raising pheasants until I priced the cost of getting set up for them.


Don't know as I say I'd given up the dream so much as made a choice to head in another direction.
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Old 12-29-2017, 01:32 PM
 
2,012 posts, read 3,166,576 times
Reputation: 4067
As I get older, I'm just more realistic about things.
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Old 12-29-2017, 02:15 PM
 
6,277 posts, read 4,148,601 times
Reputation: 24731
Quote:
Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan View Post
I wouldn't mind if you shared/posted some of your fondest memories thus far. What do they involve? Family? Children? Spouse? Friends? Travel? Things? Hobbies? Please do share...
All of them and just too much to list,some too personal �� Let's just say that these two sayings speak volumes about how I live life, carpe diem and joie de vivre. i had a devastating childhood filled with abuse,tragedies,loss and poverty. After a desperate plea for help as a teen and not getting it I decided the only person that could help me was me. I wanted to live a happy life and meeting that patient and her comment on making memories nailed it for me.
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