What advice would you offer 38-year-old me? (spouse, depression, cousins)

[southkakkatlantan]

Originally Posted by jrkliny

You are from Chicago; i.e., Shy Town?


If you want to get out more and meet people and you have an interest in photography and travel, then you are in a good place. There is an association with 35 photography clubs in the Chicago area.

I'm in Atlanta. I lived in Atlanta from 99-2012, took a job in Chicago and lived there from 2012-2017 and am now back in Atlanta as of earlier this year after a 5 year stint in Chicago. I do have friends here in Atlanta but I do keep a very small circle. As I get older although I totally recognize it's all about quality of friendships. I am blessed with a couple of very very good ones although things have changed and some friendships did weaken or disappear in the time I've been gone. I wouldn't mind having more friends. Especially single ones/ones I could travel with since pretty much everyone I know has a DH or boyfriend now at this point.


I will definitely work on getting out more either way.

[mschrief]

Never underestimate yourself.

[BucFan]

Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan

So with that said, tell me: what are some things you would have told 38-year old you that could be advice applicable to me for the future? What are some things you did right that have led to a good life in retirement? Did you have worries going into retirement that aren't worries now that you're actually retired? Any insight/advice at all you feel like sharing, please do...

Balance your life during your career. Make sure you don't work yourself to death - live life while earning/saving for retirement. Reward yourself for your hard work. I know of so many that work themselves to death and never make it to retirement. Also, exercise and try to be physically fit during your working years. Don't enter retirement unhealthy, out of shape, in poor physical condition. Finally, make time to develope hobbies, interests outside of work - be well-rounded in your interests so you have something to do when retired. Be multi-faceted (ie. don't just golf during retirement - you may become bored).

[Neerwhal]

Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan

...

I don't have a goal yet of a specific retirement age because I don't have much in retirement funds and hardly any assets, so honestly right now I'm thinking I have to work until full retirement age. Basically I would like to be financially independent enough to pay all of my bills from investments, SS (I include getting 50% of projected benefits as an estimate in my future budget) and maybe a few gigs here or there by age 57ish.

....

Editing because for some reason I didn't see how many pages this thread has.

You need to make more or spend less so you can save more. The easiest way to do that would be to pay less for your mom. That would be hard to do. You could also fight for promotions internally if you don't want to lose the pension.

[AlaskaErik]

Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan

And if they reached 38 and did not ask the question until 38 then what should do they do? I am not 18, I am 38 therefore your point above is mute.


There is always "one" I swear...

Go to work for a governmental entity that still has a defined benefit pension and max everything out that you can, such as IRAs and deferred comp plans. But not in Illinois. My Illinois retiree acquaintances are starting to sweat about the viability of their pensions. Yes, I know it's constitutionally protected, but you're not going to be able to get blood out of a turnip much longer.

[Mr5150]

Originally Posted by jrkliny

With few exceptions it seems like almost all of the comments and advice you have been given relate to money. I find that incredibly sad.


Life, including retirement, should be about much more. What are your passions? What do you want to learn? What do you want to experience? What do you want to accomplish? Those are some of the things you should really consider. Saving for retirement is sort of like eating and sleeping. Those are things we have to do. They are not necessarily what is important.

Very true. Good post. Sure money is important, but happiness is key. Money is not worth much if you are not happy mentally, physically and spiritually. In my former job some of the happiest people I worked with lived on $2000 a month.

[StealthRabbit]

Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan

I haven't given up completely...I'm just (a female ) nearing 40 who is pretty rational in her thinking .......
,

Thanks for the real estate tips

1) do consider that your RE investment does not have to be your home! Other stuff may cash flow much better and allow you to rent ‘where-ever’. Like Tahiti!

2) having my income property in income tax free states...as well as living and working in income tax free states has been a help for early retirement. Overseas jobs can have tax advantages, as well as working in a US protectorate. when I worked overseas... my travel and housing was covered, so I spent on vacations

[Ron61]

Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan

I dream of retiring one day and I read the threads here often.


My idea of retirement is changing as up until my mid thirties I thought retirement would mean exiting the workforce early and not working (at all). However, lately I've been thinking that some form of work is actually very healthy for me and I probably need to be doing 'some'thing come retirement time. Ideally it would make some money but I know after a certain age I might not have the ability to do things that generate an income.


I digress...


The real purpose of my thread is I'd like some/any advice from those who are already retired. It can be any type of advice (personal, financial, health-wise, etc etc) but mainly I was hoping moreso for things you would have done differently in life leading up to retirement....it could be anything.


I don't have a goal yet of a specific retirement age because I don't have much in retirement funds and hardly any assets, so honestly right now I'm thinking I have to work until full retirement age. Basically I would like to be financially independent enough to pay all of my bills from investments, SS (I include getting 50% of projected benefits as an estimate in my future budget) and maybe a few gigs here or there by age 57ish.


I will admit here that sometimes I think I read a lot of retirement forums and threads because deep down maybe what I really need to focus on is creating a life I don't want to retire from (those that can relate will know exactly what I'm talking about). I want to make sure I'm balancing having a good life and fun now with making sure I have a plan for when I get older...I mean I'm almost 40 and really need to start thinking about what life will look like for myself when I'm 60+.


By the way I'm currently single, no kids (no plans to have any), live in the southeast and work full time from home. Any questions, ask away. So with that said, tell me: what are some things you would have told 38-year old you that could be advice applicable to me for the future? What are some things you did right that have led to a good life in retirement? Did you have worries going into retirement that aren't worries now that you're actually retired? Any insight/advice at all you feel like sharing, please do...

I retired five months shy of 62. I had planned to work until 65 but life had other plans for me.

Several things I can suggest to you. First and foremost is save more than you currently are. Even if it hurts for a while. You will adjust to the lower income level sooner than you think. Max out your 401 contributions and stay with it.

Secondly find a good fee only financial planner to guide you in your 401 investing. Don’t think you are savvy enough to navigate all the ins and outs of investing. Find an expert, develop a plan, and don’t stray from it.

Third, when you are ready to retire, make sure you have a plan for what to do with your time. I failed miserably in this area. Most days I have nothing to do, and coming from a high level job it can get very discouraging at times. I am seriously considering returning to the work force, so save yourself the hassle of all of this and have a good plan for your retirement.

I wish you the very best as you work towards your goals.

[galaxyhi]

OP south,

Hi again. Now that I've read more about you and your situation. I'll add 2 cents more.

First: romance. It's overrated. The whirlwind Prince on the white horse, may be the garbage collector. Also, I echo almost what a previous poster said; I was 37 and my OH 41 when we met, fell in love fairly quickly and got married. It hasn't always been a bed of roses. The initial romance was fine, but we both were used to being by ourselves and in "control" of things and out lives....and we each vied for "control" of our relationship. That didn't work so well. Yhen there was the year my OH ran around cheating on me behind my back. Eventually I got us into therapy and counseling. Our relationship is ok now, but we still have our rough spots and ruffled feathers. I'm not saying you'll experience the same thing, but be wary. Also it's not "too late" to find a man, or the man of your dreams. Child bearing? Well thst may be closing out but they can perform miracles or there is always adoption, or the man of your dreams may also come with kids.

Next you weakness for travel....plan to spend only a certain dollar amount or %. When you have enough for a big trip go on one. When you don't and need to get away, go on a weekenders. As someone said "all work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy ", or in this case, " Sally a dull ballerina", lol. We've exchanged some travel for now rather than later, as in my medical condition I may not be able to later in retirement. I can't, for example, climb a volcano again now, good thing I can cross it off my bucket list in 2005 when I could walk without a cane.

Yes, my % was of gross, but if you can swing 30% of net, even better. If you can't, do what you can. Just don't "put all your eggs in one basket ", was what my point was. Id you save 20% but only in the company 401k, what happens if the 401 k changes or the company "mismanaged it".? That's happened to people as well as pensions going away.

Third, your mother, it's nice to help her out, but when I was living under the bridge, family 13 miles away REFUSED TO HELP. That was tough for me, and I'm not sure it easy for mother either but father called the purse strings. I thi k you were "beat up enough" over that, so I'll leave that to you, I'd just think twice about helping her now. She may really really need financial help when she is a senior. My father figured id figure something out, and i did, i finally got welfare when I needed it and Medicaid health insurance the most. That's what it's there for, not for freeloading off the system. Your mother gets help. Two things she needs is food and a place to live. Help only with that, nothing else. She'll figure out how to get to job interviews on her own. Trust me she will. Ok I guess I kinda beat you up a bit more than I intended.

Lastly, I didn't think it needed saying, but as noted, find out what you like to do for a hobby. Try different things, join different organizations, volunteer. Find out what you like. If it's a hobby, don't spend too much until you are sure you'll enjoy it long term. I've had about 6 hobbies I no longer enjoy, and sold off my supplies, or in some times gave away. If you volunteer you can try different things, just don't let it become like work, unless you can figure out how to be paid too. Lije seeing and want to try quilting? Look for a quilting bee or quilting club, for example. That's also creative. If you like clay, make pot and goblets and bowls to sell at crafts fairs, just don't expect to a killing.

Yes recreation is important, just don't let it cost you your savings.
Yes romance is important, but don't give up.
Yes working is important, just figure out how to get paid for whatever you do in spare time from your regular job.
And keep saving, both for retirement, for unseen circumstances and for house.

Best of luck.....you turn out fine if you follow ALL of the advice in this thread. Other things you'll figure out on your own.

[loveautumn]

Stay in the stock market and don’t be fearful of any corrections because you have lots of time to make up for them. In the long run the market is your friend. Also, buy a home and don’t waste money renting.