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In both the 55+ communities that we have lived/are living in, the activities have been started by the participants. Management designates which space they use based on how many members they attract. In both of those places Boomers clubs were started by/for the younger folks. We are old geezers and participate elsewhere.
The scale of the operation plays a part. The community we were in previously had 29000 residents, where we are now has only 9000.
I tried to explain that there is a hierarchy of older ladies that have been there the longest; they try to solicit your time/services for their cash till that funds activities for (supposedly) ALL tenants in the building - which means they really shouldn't be age specific. A) They don't address other age-groups when hiring/planning (since they solicit from them); B) This "hierarchy" is connected to management that lets it run the way it does and gives these "volunteers" too much lee-way. (In other words, the volunteers are their own bosses and go unchecked).
All I can say in my defense as far as moving here is that I wasn't savvy enough to pick up on the online deception (activities, amenities) and haven't had an actual previous experience with this sort of set up.
The rent here is slightly lower than other similar buildings in Madison. Several tenants revealed to me last year that they used to have more "section 8" and "people on oxygen" and "other people that didn't belong here" for other reasons, as they put it. Now, less oxygen tenants, but still a number of lower-income people remain. Several times at meetings other (younger) tenants asked if the office was vetting new tenants or just renting to anyone. This came after a new tenant moved in and took all the food out of the community room refrigerator.
There is a lot of theft here (someone actually stole two pairs of my slacks). I (and another tenant) at the laundry room on our floor spotted one of the maintenance guys polishing one of three dryers. When he got to the bottom of the dryer, he got on his one good knee and took off the bottom of the dryer and looked around slightly and took a small, folded piece of paper and slid it into his pocket. Then put the door back on and went on his business (outside of the laundry room). Funny, he didn't clean the other two dryers (or washers) which were dirty...
Everyone suspects something about the building, but it's like Teflon. (Non-stick)
I tried to get out last summer when the lease came up to renew, but hubby talked me into "giving it another year." I'm just trying to ride it out and at the same time, be as helpful as I can since I can't get to the exact nature of the problem of the building/management.
I did suggest to hubby that we need to start looking or moving. It's not about saving $ at this point.
I'm just not clear why there need to be activities (for anyone) if it's an "independent" senior building.
We recently started renting after 30 years of being homeowners. In the past, when we rented, the apartment complexes didn't have so much as an exercise room.
Things have changed since then. Now many places, that aren't even considered to be upscale have exercise rooms.
We are in a somewhat upscale place that offers activities for the tenants. For example, my husband goes to water aerobics once a week. They also offer yoga classes. Plus there is a really good exercise room with all sorts of equipment.
While our building is for all ages, there are a good number of us older folks here. I find it nice to have a good range of age groups around.
As for the laundry room --- you need to find a place that has in unit washers and dryers. Even when I was much younger, taking clothes to the laundry room got old very quickly.
Look around at all your options in your area. Decide what is more important to you. Is having activities available important? Is that more important than having your own washer and dryer?
We are hoping that we won't need to move into 55+ housing. The 55+ housing in our area is not well located. If you want to go anywhere, you will need a car. One place that keeps sending us flyers, despite having shopping nearby, there are hardly any sidewalks so forget about walking. Plus, down the street from it, there is low income housing that has problems with crime. This 55+ community isn't one where I would want to live. Others in the area (managed by the same company) are also not well located either.
OP, your maintenance guy sounds like he was picking up some drugs that were left for him in a stash spot. They often call it a "dead drop". One person leaves money in a hiding spot, and later the dealer takes the money and leaves the drugs, then the first guy picks up his drugs at a later time, etc... Drugs are often packaged into a small "bindle" consisting of a piece of paper folded into a tiny envelope shape, about 1 to 2 inches wide.
This doesn't sound like a good place at all. Having tenants collecting for club activities and then spending the money with no accountability at all? I would never contribute to that, and unless it's a requirement in writing in your lease, you shouldn't either. Sounds like a recipe for embezzlement. Look for a nicer place as soon as you can get out of your lease. I'm sure there are nicer places around. Look for something billed as an active retirement community, if that's what you want, and be sure to see the schedule of activities and talk to a few residents who seem similar to yourselves, without management supervision, before agreeing to anything. Check the facilities and don't go by photos, etc. Visit during off hours when management is not likely to be around and see what really goes on there first.
OP, Not all independent living places are like yours. Mine is a nice one. Sure we have our problems but what place does? Still they might not be for you. Maybe if you still want to consider going into one, you could talk to some of the tenants or even find online reviews FB often had them, so you can have an idea of what you are getting into. That’s how I chose mine.
My inlaws moved to a house in a planned community, with a concentration of older but not old residents. They aren't a retirement area, but they offer specialized activities to older residents, and craft and other groups, like a reading group for everyone. They have services for those in need of them as well, like checking on those who need it. They've had one of their adult kids living with them for a while and it was legal, and some with grandkids.
It's been very comfortable for them, and the neighbors were friendly. They've done well there. Neither are in good health but can get help fast with the setup. My father in law can go somewhere knowing my mother in law can get someone if she needs.
The important part here is that the activities and options are just that, options. If you never walk into the office, its okay and nobody will come and bother you.
My worse nightmare would be somewhere where they 'took care of you' by defining where you could go and what you could do and things like when you go to bed and get up. I'm a night person and I tend to go to bed at two, three am, and would not take kindly to be told I have to be up in the morning for something. And when I choose not to cooperate, I don't. If its voluntary, if you need some help getting somewhere, now and then and its provided is vastly different than being told you need activities when you'd rather sleep 'late' and make your own hours.
Where I live they have a retirement center, but aside from the ride to the store I would not get involved as I don't trust them enough.
Nightbird - I think the only place that would do that would be a memory care type unit - you (the patient) do not know what you are doing, so have to keep an eye on you
At my mom's nursing home, if the patient didn't want to eat at 8 in the morning, they would just let them eat later. They didn't force them to do anything unless it was unhealthy - maybe not wanting to bathe for more than a week for example. There were people that stayed up all night in the TV room watching movies.
Nightbird - I think the only place that would do that would be a memory care type unit - you (the patient) do not know what you are doing, so have to keep an eye on you
At my mom's nursing home, if the patient didn't want to eat at 8 in the morning, they would just let them eat later. They didn't force them to do anything unless it was unhealthy - maybe not wanting to bathe for more than a week for example. There were people that stayed up all night in the TV room watching movies.
I'm basically a night person. I do my writing after midnight, when everyone else shuts up and there's no distraction. I do crafts while sitting but if its something I'm almost there I'll finish it over waiting dinner. I don't recognize between 5am and noon as useful for anything but sleeping and hate being woken. Won't get you anywhere since I'll make sure to wait an additional hour before getting up.
I like choosing these things for myself. I'm not a 'group' person. I've lived here in OK for ten years and found ways of entertaining myself just fine, and don't miss any of the 'worker visit' crap at all. I'm different, not the conventional mold, and proud of it. They'd say I should visit their center each week. I'd go once, bring a book and notebook for notes and some pens, find myself a spot and work on the story I was working on til it was time to go home. But I was getting the bills paid, had food, was functioning and otherwise okay, so they had to agree even if they still didn't like it.
But what I've learned most of all about myself is I very much LIKE to be alone. At least alone from people. Give me a dog and some cats to snuggle and I'm very good. A friend or two interested in one of the esoteric stuff I like would be great. Those right now are my goal.
So far, I've not met any social service types who don't feel the need to correct me and turn me into another robot who rises with the rest and sleeps with the rest and I'm sure they'd prefer if I did all the rest of it like THEM too. But sorry, tain't gonna happen......
I'm basically a night person. I do my writing after midnight, when everyone else shuts up and there's no distraction. I do crafts while sitting but if its something I'm almost there I'll finish it over waiting dinner. I don't recognize between 5am and noon as useful for anything but sleeping and hate being woken. Won't get you anywhere since I'll make sure to wait an additional hour before getting up.
I like choosing these things for myself. I'm not a 'group' person. I've lived here in OK for ten years and found ways of entertaining myself just fine, and don't miss any of the 'worker visit' crap at all. I'm different, not the conventional mold, and proud of it. They'd say I should visit their center each week. I'd go once, bring a book and notebook for notes and some pens, find myself a spot and work on the story I was working on til it was time to go home. But I was getting the bills paid, had food, was functioning and otherwise okay, so they had to agree even if they still didn't like it.
But what I've learned most of all about myself is I very much LIKE to be alone. At least alone from people. Give me a dog and some cats to snuggle and I'm very good. A friend or two interested in one of the esoteric stuff I like would be great. Those right now are my goal.
So far, I've not met any social service types who don't feel the need to correct me and turn me into another robot who rises with the rest and sleeps with the rest and I'm sure they'd prefer if I did all the rest of it like THEM too. But sorry, tain't gonna happen......
When someone says you "should" that isn't an order to do something. It's more of a suggestion.
i doubt anyone would force you to do anything you don't want to do.
Recently one of our activities directors asked me if I would like to join the arts workshop since she saw me in their room chatting with sone of the people there. I told her no, actually I was giving a woman there advice about her printer. She just happen to be there working on an art project at the time. So I knew where to find her.
I pointed out I couldn’t draw a lick and didn’t want to learn. The activities person said that’s okay. There’s no teacher, no leader, no real formal projects unless people decide they want to work together on something. They can get supplies from the room, whatever they need. Some people just come and color in coloring books. I can do that. I liked to do that when I was a kid. And the people in the group are nice.
When someone says you "should" that isn't an order to do something. It's more of a suggestion.
i doubt anyone would force you to do anything you don't want to do.
Maybe. I was dealing with the county types, and they have predetermined ideas about what is 'good' and what doesn't fit that norm. I had my apartment organized with my chair and some boxes with yarn and stuff at one end. They said I should put it away. I said it was. I sit there to crochet and stitch, and want all my stuff within reach. The woman figured out she wasn't going to win the argument and quit, but still wasn't happy. They also didn't like my chosen hours. And I was supposed to go to their social area, so I'd take the bus there, and a large bag with yarn. I did try the ceramics class and made one thing, but ignored the models and did it with my fingers. But it wasn't fun if we weren't allowed to touch anything but the clay. No putting in the baking mold or anything. Not fun that way. Never tried again.
They insisted so I and my yarn went, sat, finished the piece I was working on, got repacked and was out for the next bus. woopie. I had tried talking to people but they all seemed rather mundane, and I don't run that way. And the bus was annoying. And they ended up not noticing.
I have the feeling if you actually lived in a place that they'd push until there was an explosion because I'd just plain had it. Not good. And I just don't feel relaxed when there are bunch of people around. I like me and the four legged kids and me being the one who decides when and what for dinner and so on. It was interesting that when I moved out of housing for moving I talked to the worker, and told her about how I just don't like lots of bodies around and never will, and to have my own space, even if I hadn't moved yet, had made a difference, and she could see it. She even agreed with me.
We're all different and unless a system figures that in without treating people like children its broken.
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