Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I live I south Florida. I have no family in the entire state. You ask why and how drink wind up here alone. Well long story short. Hubby died. Had 2 places as were snowbirds. My north home was in the pa Pocono mountains, cold cold winters and far from stores. Hubby took care of the snow, leaves, etc.
When he passed I had to chose which place to live as I couldn't financially or physically take care of two places. I chose here in Florida because tons to do and plenty of sunshine.
But oh how I miss my kids. And if something were to happen to me I would face it alone, although I'm sure my church friends would be there for me somewhat.
I've decided to move near my son who lives in NC. At least ill be near one child and he's settled there. He won't be moving again. DILs family is there.
I'll be 12 hours closer to my other 2 children, and NC winters aren't nearly as bad as the poconos. Ill have seasons again which is fine with me. This perpetual summer gets old.
Years ago, we moved to Austin, Texas. When I had my second child, I needed help caring for my 2 1/2 year old. Our families were in NYC/NJ. I really missed having a family for support.
It's a good thing our families didn't follow us to Austin, because we moved back. We brought a house in Westwood MA. My in-law's couldn't drive anymore, so a town with an Amtrak station was the solution. The distance between the train's platform and the parking area was short. It was easy for them to handle.
Many posts suggest airplanes. JFK and LaGuardia airport are really hard to navigate for seniors. These airports require the ability to walk long distances. Not even taking into consideration, standing in line for security 30+ minutes in lines that snake around. Then having to take off shoes and belts, etc.
We are considering towns with Amtrak stations - anywhere from Portland ME to Washington DC. With the exception of NYC/NJ, due a number of factors.
In NYC, to limit cars, car lanes are being reduced for bikes lanes. How many seniors are riding bikes in NYC? Subway with their long stairs are not friendly for seniors (or handicapped or new moms) either. The solution for seniors is driving into NYC and parking. Unfortunately, this is going to be a financial hardship. Congestion pricing is coming - nearly $12 to drive into midtown, after paying $15 for the George Washington Bridge or $7 for the Henry Hudson Bridge.
Between property taxes, increased bridge tolls and congestion pricing, I really don't think NYC wants the middle class or seniors anymore. I love NYC, but feeling isn't reciprocated. Same for NJ.
I've explained this to my kids. They get it. We all feel like we are being pushed out. I am hoping wherever we go, the kids will follow. Even if they don't, we can save money for a few years and then revisit our decision.
My mother went into a nursing home. My sister lived within fifteen minutes of her.
My sister still had to work and care for her son. It wasn't like she was there everyday - more like once a week. I was two hours away so I handled purchases with Peapod delivery. The nurses kept me updated. I talked to my mother every couple of days. It is hard regardless of how physically close your are.
My mom lives in south Florida and expects me and my brother to visit often.
I'm up in PA and way back when my parents moved to Florida in the early 1990s they told us that they would visit often. In reality it was more like 2-3 times a year. I was busy raising my kids and it was too expensive to buy round trip tickets for a family of four often so we would go down there every other year. I just couldn't afford it in addition to all of the other things one spends money on when raising a family.
Now mom is 92 and can no longer travel. While she still lives in the over 55 community that she bought into with dad 26 years ago she has health issues and has aides helping her. My kids are adults and are on their own and my husband is disabled. I will go down there once a year to see her but I don't like to leave my husband too long and too often. He has issues traveling and so he hasn't been down there for several years.
I have tried to encourage her to move back up here but she claims to be happy down there even though her once thriving social life has been reduced to one friend who is still around.
As others have mentioned sure one can easily fly. However flying has become so uncomfortable I find myself dreading it each time! I also have my own issues with leg pain and find it hard to drive for more than an hour at a time...one never knows what issues can suddenly arise when it comes to health! There is no way that I could personally drive 8 hours anywhere now!
This week, on a bit of a whim, my husband and I traveled to Tucson from Seattle area and put on offer on a home in a 55 plus community. The price was amazing and comes with all the bells and whistles that we love. However, my adult daughter with her 5 children are devastated. I broke the news to her last night and have not stopped crying since. She is happy for us, but said she cannot tell the children, ages 11-1 year as it will destroy them. I'm no wanting to cancel the deal...here's the kicker, she and her husband are hoping to move to Idaho once he can relocate his business in real estate. I have such anxiety. Husband is planning on putting our home on the market as soon as we get home. I'm 2nd guessing this decision...
This week, on a bit of a whim, my husband and I traveled to Tucson from Seattle area and put on offer on a home in a 55 plus community. The price was amazing and comes with all the bells and whistles that we love. However, my adult daughter with her 5 children are devastated. I broke the news to her last night and have not stopped crying since. She is happy for us, but said she cannot tell the children, ages 11-1 year as it will destroy them. I'm no wanting to cancel the deal...here's the kicker, she and her husband are hoping to move to Idaho once he can relocate his business in real estate. I have such anxiety. Husband is planning on putting our home on the market as soon as we get home. I'm 2nd guessing this decision...
Go for it! You can't wait around on your daughter's life decisions. Sell your house and move and enjoy all the excitement it brings.
This week, on a bit of a whim, my husband and I traveled to Tucson from Seattle area and put on offer on a home in a 55 plus community. The price was amazing and comes with all the bells and whistles that we love. However, my adult daughter with her 5 children are devastated. I broke the news to her last night and have not stopped crying since. She is happy for us, but said she cannot tell the children, ages 11-1 year as it will destroy them. I'm no wanting to cancel the deal...here's the kicker, she and her husband are hoping to move to Idaho once he can relocate his business in real estate. I have such anxiety. Husband is planning on putting our home on the market as soon as we get home. I'm 2nd guessing this decision...
Why are you second guessing ? Daughter wants you to stay until after she moves away ? Then what ?
Will she want you to move to Idaho as well ?
Why are you second guessing ? Daughter wants you to stay until after she moves away ? Then what ?
Will she want you to move to Idaho as well ?
That scenario seems kind of odd to me as well. Her daughter is devastated that the mom will be moving away, yet the daughter has no problem with moving away from the mom
It is hard, I moved away a little over a year ago from Ca to Tucson, and because of Covid, haven't seen my little grandson for almost a year. BUT...I also know that my son has told me they're planning to move to Washington state next year, and I can't live my life following my kids around. It is different now than when raising my kids with distant grandparents. We have Zoom now! And, hopefully, fears will lesson with Covid, and my kids will feel okay with me traveling by air soon.
You'll love the golf here. Played yesterday, and it was gorgeous, sunny, short sleeved weather. Not that I played well, lol.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,700 posts, read 58,022,681 times
Reputation: 46172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Golfergirl2
This week, on a bit of a whim, my husband and I traveled to Tucson from Seattle area and put on offer on a home.... .... I'm 2nd guessing this decision...
Airplanes are your friend. Budget return trips into your relocation budget.
Have DD establish an additional and seperate living space in her home (or next home). Visit often, and stay for awhile (weeks/ months). We keep an inexpensive car at each destination, often traveling solo while other spouse does their own thing as well. (Sibling trips to Hawaii, eldercare, other interests, visiting relatives and friends...) We take between 50-100 flights / yr ~1/2 of them separately. We often meet at resort / desirable destinations, so your DH could have the freedom to stay in Tucson and meet up with you on sunny days in Seattle or Idaho. Be sure DD relocates near an airport, as you want to make the air commute quick and simple.
We really enjoy visiting Tucson, as do several retiree friends from who escaped from PNW (and Colorado) to live there.
Embrace the change, if quite leary, you can retain a 'lock and leave' property of your own in either WA or ID. Or fund the ADU at DD place, as a place you can call your second home. Trust me... The grandkids are gonna love visiting you in Tucson, especially during PNW winter. Our kids were homeschooled, so they would head to Lake Havasu grandparents for a month or so in winter. Be sure to take grandkids on your vacations, especially international trips. (1 kid at a time is very special to them). Hot springs are another great place to meet spouse and take grandkids. Idaho has plenty of those!
We both moved away from parents and family to this country, and everyone did well with that. Now that we're retired (and for 15 years before that) we've lived far from our kids, and that seems to work well for all of us. We get together every couple of years, and with no grandkids so far, I doubt that will change.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Relocating for retirement or staying put
