Do people think you're ditzy? :) (physically, alcohol, acquaintance, friendly)

[Travelassie]

Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153

Well thank you, but it's more than that, much more. It's a social justice issue. Actually it's two social justice issues, ageism and sexism. Are you suggesting that ageism and sexism are imaginary and based on the inadequacies of the victims? Sure sounds like it.

Your response was classic "blaming the victim."

Well, as I see it, you can concentrate your energies on fighting all those so- called social justice windmills, or you can use them to direct your own unique talents and accomplish your goals. Your choice, of course, but IMO you deprive the world of the gifts your talents and accomplishments could bring by choosing to limit them within confines construed by those who identify as victims beyond all else.

Your response was classic chronic victim, and IMO that's sad.

[KaraZetterberg153]

>> I don't know what world you grew up in, Travelassie, but it wasn't my world, and I do not have a victim mentality. I didn't read that in the OP's post either. (edited to say I first wrote "victim reality" haha)

Thanks! Yeah, I'm ignoring that one. No sense in tussling with someone that maybe doesn't feel well (?) or is not amenable to reason.

[SmartMoney]

Stop letting what other people think of you define how you think of yourself.


Own it and use it, use it to get what you want.

[kyb01]

Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153

Let me start by saying I'm 67. Not really retired but retirement age. The grandfather of one of my students, only a few years older than me (6-7 years, I think), was just put in a retirement center by his family. He had serious memory loss/confusion. For example, he initially brought his grandson to me to study, bought a violin from me, and then shortly afterwards stated he wants to buy the violin (after he already had paid for it). My mother had this, too, real loss of short term memory.

I'm finding if I forget something, people may assume I'm ditzy, too. For example, on YouTube, on my tablet at least, it you don't click on this little triangle on the bottom right under the video, the date doesn't drop down. I didn't realize that and posted an inquiry about an old video on Hillary Clinton, thinking she was going to run again. A friend gently corrected me on Facebook; it was an old video, she's not running again.

Well, there was a rumor she was running again (she isn't), but posting that old video made me look ditzy. I hadn't noticed the date.

So, if you're retirement age, do you worry about people thinking you're losing it?

No, why should I care? Lol. Well, my worrying days are over anyhow.

I've been retired for 6 years. I'm 68.

[LillyLillyLilly]

Originally Posted by bpollen

Ironically, what I tend to hear occasionally is a comment about how smart I am. I guess I should be flattered, but I get the impression that they're surprised by that, so not really a compliment. (Did I look like an idiot, so they're surprised I know how to multiply in my head, or how much power a nightlight uses?)

My favorite saying has become "I'm not as dumb as I act!"

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by Travelassie

If you are truly competent, or better than just competent, ie, outstanding in your chosen field, your reputation, hard work and your own engagement with your public will supercede any concerns anyone who matters might have about your gender, or your age. These simply will not be issues. I can speak from experience in this regard.

A chronic victim mentality does the holder no favors, it saps the energy that would be better placed in the hard work of making a name for oneself, and achieving one's goals. Better to work on one's "competency" than to use the victim mentality as an excuse for a perceived ( real, or imagined) lack of same.

This is true no matter what one does in this life.

So unless you are "outstanding" you deserve to garner the misperceptions of others? That is, if you're in the top 10% you'll be judged "fairly" but if you're merely in the top half (but not top 10%) you are fair game to be deemed a ditz...sorry, but I'm not buying it. Or I should say, I have no doubt that people like yourself make such judgments but I don't believe that being unhappy about an unfair judgment makes you a victim.

More generally, what is interesting is that women are ditzes...men are absent-minded or eccentric...another one of those "women as victims" misperceptions, I guess.

[TamaraSavannah]

They might but if they do, it is because I am theatrical. I can shift in the blink of an eye into character to change the mood, to demonstrate a point, to get someone's goat, to release my tensions, or whatever other reason.

So-o, if you think at a latter age you might be ditzy, start early to have a good cover story, an alternate explanation.

[Travelassie]

Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153

>> I don't know what world you grew up in, Travelassie, but it wasn't my world, and I do not have a victim mentality. I didn't read that in the OP's post either. (edited to say I first wrote "victim reality" haha)

Thanks! Yeah, I'm ignoring that one. No sense in tussling with someone that maybe doesn't feel well (?) or is not amenable to reason.

LOL, classic response for lack of a valid response to an argument, ie, personal attacks.

You are right, though, you have no clue as to how or where I grew up, where I have been or what my experiences were. Suffice it to say that I'm only too aware of the existence of both sexism and ageism, having experienced both in my life. But I have chosen not to concentrate on those negatives, instead focusing over the years on developing my own talents, character, my personal and professional relationships with others, my work ethic and integrity, and I believe these are the attributes that define me to those I know and who matter to me, not whether or not I'm an old lady, or I'm ditzy. And for those who might judge me based solely on my age or gender, (or even my posting comments they don't like)they simply don't matter.

So off you go onto my ignore list. Have a nice life.

[CatTX]

I've always been kind of ditzy, but I am trying to suppress it. Because at 56, the age of ditzyness being misconstrued as "early onset dementia" or other unpleasantness isn't all that far off.

[HappyDogToday]

Don't know and don't care!