What will you do after you lose your spouse? (move, spouses, marriage)
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This weekend my dear wife is away visiting grandchildren. I'm home alone with the dogs. We all miss her.
But it got me thinking, what would I do if she suddenly died? I don't like being alone. But I also am not inclined to find a new wife. I learned here that most women would prefer to not get involved with an old guy who might end up needing a caretaker.
This weekend my dear wife is away visiting grandchildren. I'm home alone with the dogs. We all miss her.
But it got me thinking, what would I do if she suddenly died? I don't like being alone. But I also am not inclined to find a new wife. I learned here that most women would prefer to not get involved with an old guy who might end up needing a caretaker.
What would you do?
You literally carry on and find positive ways to enjoy your new life.
A deep and interesting question. But why say a woman would not want to be a caretaker? Are you in poor health? Most, actually all my of my friends are in good health. One of my friends, age 73~a widower just got remarried in February.
As for me, what would I do if Mrs5150 died? Well I would prefer to be one of those spouses who also die soon thereafter after the loss. Baring that, I’d sell the house and move closer to town. Join a Greifshare group and tell all my friends to visit or let me drop by or call or let me call on a daily basis (as they would surely ask “what can I do to be a help?”) Stay super busy and in shape. And when ready, open myself to the possibility of encountering a potential new spouse, like my 73 year old friend.
I too would hate to be alone, but I would do something about it.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Yes... do the grief counseling, take the time you need... many guys (including FIL) jump into a relationship that sours their previous family ties & spends their retirement (he bought a $100k motorhome That never got used, traded the Ford for a new Caddie (previously drove pickups), sold the beautiful view home he had built for the deceased, left lifelong friends and moved 2000 miles to meet the desires of the ‘Gold-digger’.) Has been a very sad 20 yr ‘remarriage’. New spouse refuses to spend a dime on ‘family expenses’ (saving it for HER kids...). Hates the FIL kids (competition for dough). FIL has OTHER future plans if she goes first!... and that can’t be soon enough (for last 15 yrs).
Others find very compatible spouses (they take their time)
Some can stay single and cope (many cope well)
I would hate to put someone else through the pain of my family and relationships. I would seek a new single life, and spare the agony to someone elsew
I like to believe that I would do all the "correct" stuff, some of which has been noted here already.
But I know in my heart of hearts that I would mourn and mourn and mourn first and foremost and likely forever, even after I was finally able to pull myself together and create a different life for myself.
Thinking about this teaches me something in the here and now- I have the good fortune to have something to mourn and I am still in a position to show my spouse how much I love and appreciate him.
So, Vision67, do something extra special for your spouse when she comes home.
i tease my wife , i tell her i will visit the local college for a new one .
"say , did i tell you ,that you look just like my next wife "
I just told my wife that she can't trade the current 66yo one for two 33yos even if she tries to make up for the difference in cash.
At least, I HOPE that's not the way it works...
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