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Want to Leave a Legacy? Be a Mentor!
By Jane E. Brody
“Older people are uniquely suited for a mentoring role,” he said in an interview. “The critical skills for nurturing relationships — emotional regulation and empathy — blossom as we age.” And, of course, those who are retired also have more time to devote to younger people, be they grandchildren, neighbors or strangers.
It sounded like an intriguing idea that might be of interest to some retirees. I kept reading and looked for the specifics. The specific suggestions seemed to involve volunteering to provide free child care especially for disadvantaged, abandoned or emotionally challenged kids. Sorry, but just being old and looking for something to do does not qualify someone to provide help in those areas. Kids with special needs also deserve help from those who are trained and knowledgeable. This is not a casual endeavor to be taken lightly. The first step would be to go back to school and get some training.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny
... volunteering to provide free child care especially for disadvantaged, abandoned or emotionally challenged kids. ... This is not a casual endeavor to be taken lightly. The first step would be to go back to school and get some training.
I would start with some bullet proof liability insurance and NEVER be solo with someone else's 'disadvantaged' kid.
I will stick with mentoring aligned with my skillset (which is vanishing into the sunset.)
I also like Master Gardener mentoring.
Childcare?... Duct tape worked pretty good for mine, followed by Dairy Farm Boarding school, then directly to the military. (in jest... (or not) but that path can work OK for the 'disadvantaged' or 'over-advantaged'.).
Working out your emotions on a 1600# dairy cow or shoveling manure for 12 hours / day can provide you with a pretty quick 'attitude adjustment'. Too bad many don't recognize such opportunities and instead exhaust yrs of professional counselling (Needed for some, not all).
I concur that mentoring is a very valuable contribution from seniors. Mentoring Youth or Adults.
My SO has a special needs child, well, young adult. I can tell you for sure young people like him benefit from mentoring. You do not need a PhD in Child Development to help with reading or remind them to use their inside voice. Or take them to the grocery store or Starbucks. Or to just sit and converse with them. Take an interest in their lives.
This is just my opinion and I am nobody. But I think special needs kids need time away from other special needs kids. They benefit from spending time in the world the rest of us live in. Too much of the time they are with others who have similar disabilities and sometimes they borrow each other's problems. Reinforce unacceptable behavior. My SO's child makes more progress when he is away from that environment. And I know there are a lot of kids who would benefit from time spent with an older adult as a role model.
I would love to do this but I don't because as StealthRabbit said it's not a good idea to be alone with these kids. SO's kid and his friends LOVE drama(if there isn't enough, they will manufacture their own) and lie often. They just don't have the same filters we do. I won't put myself in a position where I could be accused of doing something wrong/inappropriate. I know these kids are very easily manipulated and love to say and do things that will get them attention. But my experience is limited to my SO's son and his group of friends. They are high functioning disabled and bored.
I would be more likely to help older people who need to get to the pharmacy or the store, etc. But I bet you need special insurance for that and it's not cheap.
But i echo the others...this day in age i wont even babysit the great nephews alone. Heck i told them long ago...." I'm NOT changing diapers"!
Let alone be alone with other unknown peoples children.
Nowadays they are taught in school about abuse and neglect, and i know the kids next door used to call social services and complain of abuse when they didnt get their way, which set in motion a thorough investigation into the parents who were considered guilty before being proven innocent. Each complaint, right or wrong, causes its own investigation!
Nowadays in ALL maters one is guilty before proven innocent. Take employers, many will immediately side with a complaint against an employee before finding out the facts or interviewing the employee or checking security camera tapes. Its happened to both me and my OH.
So, thanks but no thanks.
I can mentor my great nephews from afar in a room full of their parents and grandparents. But NOT alone. NEVER.
I dont trust "the system" any more.
Be alone with any child? NEVER.
And my OH works with special needs adults. Has been accused erroneously by a woman about something. My OH was immediately suspended. Unpon the investigation the woman was shown to be wrong on camera and mistaken. Only then was my OH reinstated.
Want to Leave a Legacy? Be a Mentor!
By Jane E. Brody
“Older people are uniquely suited for a mentoring role,” he said in an interview. “The critical skills for nurturing relationships — emotional regulation and empathy — blossom as we age.” And, of course, those who are retired also have more time to devote to younger people, be they grandchildren, neighbors or strangers.
Sounds pretty presumptuous to me. Just because retirees are no longer working doesn't mean they have more time to devote to others. Many here have said they are even more busy in their retirement. Mentoring is great if someone wants to do it whether they are retired or not.
Not all "older people are uniquely suited for a mentoring role." Just being retired and having more time doesn't make one qualified to be a mentor. I have never been a nurturing person and I'm not going to turn into one now.
I have a special needs grandson, he is on the autism spectrum. He is now doing well and reading exceptionally well thanks to very knowledgeable people who have been working with him for 7 of his 9 years. No way do I qualify to provide what he really needs for learning and development.
Mentoring adults sounds like a great idea. It happens on a regular basis in the workplace. I no longer work.
No, I limit my "mentoring" to setting an example. I have all sorts of interests, accomplishments and things I do that are well out of the ordinary. In addition to pursuing my dreams, I hope I set a good example for others on how life can be led to grow, learn, excel and achieve.
But i echo the others...this day in age i wont even babysit the great nephews alone. Heck i told them long ago...." I'm NOT changing diapers"!
Let alone be alone with other unknown peoples children.
Nowadays they are taught in school about abuse and neglect, and i know the kids next door used to call social services and complain of abuse when they didnt get their way, which set in motion a thorough investigation into the parents who were considered guilty before being proven innocent. Each complaint, right or wrong, causes its own investigation!
Nowadays in ALL maters one is guilty before proven innocent. Take employers, many will immediately side with a complaint against an employee before finding out the facts or interviewing the employee or checking security camera tapes. Its happened to both me and my OH.
So, thanks but no thanks.
I can mentor my great nephews from afar in a room full of their parents and grandparents. But NOT alone. NEVER.
I dont trust "the system" any more.
Be alone with any child? NEVER.
And my OH works with special needs adults. Has been accused erroneously by a woman about something. My OH was immediately suspended. Unpon the investigation the woman was shown to be wrong on camera and mistaken. Only then was my OH reinstated.
You can even have the police knocking on your door if you send a minor an email that is taken the wrong way, or on Twitter.
It sounded like an intriguing idea that might be of interest to some retirees. I kept reading and looked for the specifics. The specific suggestions seemed to involve volunteering to provide free child care especially for disadvantaged, abandoned or emotionally challenged kids. Sorry, but just being old and looking for something to do does not qualify someone to provide help in those areas. Kids with special needs also deserve help from those who are trained and knowledgeable. This is not a casual endeavor to be taken lightly. The first step would be to go back to school and get some training.
I agree that it's not necessary the most brilliant or the most comprehensive article in the world, but I liked the idea of comparing mentoring to a legacy. And if it inspires people, then great! I'm not sure that retirees are in the mood to go back for more schooling, but there are certainly many people who've had successful careers and might be interested in helping younger people in their fields.
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