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Yes I remember this tragic incident in Redding. There was also another one a few hours North. 2 Lesbian Real Estate Agents were found murdered in Southern Oregon. They were showing a property, to someone that intentionally targeted them. It is true many want this region of NoCal, and at least part of Oregon to become Jefferson. For some reason this region attacks some hateful groups.
I know its not just in the southeast. California as well as Oregon and Washington, are not completely liberal regions. I lived in the region for close to 20 years of my life. There is ignorance everywhere and I know that. Its just some areas attrack more of it, and I've experienced it. Im more careful because of it, but I don't live in a shell either. No one tells me where I get to go in America. However I'm going to be more comfortable in Live and Let Live regions.
I'd rather retire in some areas of Calif. That is really where I should be, and anyone that knows me would say so. Its just like for so many now. I'm completely priced out even renting. I'm completely amazed the state has not had to, declare a State of Emergency over housing issues in CA.
A few months ago I applied for senior apts in San Diego. A brand new development just down the street, from where I once lived in working years. I was called and they told me the waiting list had to be closed. Reason being the units which were still rather expensive for retirees were immediately rented. They were rented from the moment ground was broken for construction. The waiting List was closed because it had hit 500 people waiting for units. Its a 75 unit complex. A person would be waiting years for a unit to open. So scratch that idea.
Anyone living in the Western States, that formerly lived in Calif or Oregon? Where did you retire to, and did COL force you out when retirement. came?
My advice is you need to look for an area budget wise that will get you an area with more educated people, you stand a better chance of being surrounded by more open- minded or live let live people. So when you say the West, I have found most areas to be more expensive and so your budget might put you in with the type of people that might not be the most open minded. So my pattern has been to look not for the cheapest area in town and close enough to a major city or university towns which tend to be more welcoming.
We've discussed a bit the difficulty in how to answer the OP's original question, which to me, has a lot to do with avoiding generalities that gloss over variations between places and even peoples' behavior. Nevertheless, we always have to wind up generalizing to some degree.
Personally, I expect to wind up in a large metro area; in such a place, I would feel safer. If I were considering small towns, I would follow Beach Sportsfans's advice. In addition, I just remembered knowing a lesbian couple who lived in Los Alamos, NM. Very highly educated community, in the mountains (but perhaps the winters would be too cold for the OP), and maybe an hour or so from Santa Fe. For an outdoors person, I imagine it would be great, but I hear that some people consider it too expensive ... but, that aspect is one that each person must evaluate for themself.
I agree that Ashville SC seems pretty nice. I visited there last summer, but as much as I liked it, I did find it to be a bit warm & humid while I was there. Not as bad as Houston (where I'm from), but still. However, it was quite pleasant to go up into the Smokey Mtns from there. It seemed very youth-oriented downtown, but I actually enjoy that even though I would expect to suffer a bit of age discrimination.
As for Redding CA, I remember (from the 70s) riding a bus that stopped there, getting off for a break, and being told by an old guy on the street that I needed a haircut. That was weird, I never experienced that growing up in Texas. However, Guerneville (closer to SF) is known as a gay mecca of sorts and is in a pretty area. Not sure of the COL living there.
Anyway, I agree that it could be tough to make a decision, unless money were no object.
I can understand your friend fitting in with SF. When I lived in Portland I had a similar feeling with some. Those two cities have similar populations and politics. I like both of those cities, but at times way to radical for me.
We've discussed a bit the difficulty in how to answer the OP's original question, which to me, has a lot to do with avoiding generalities that gloss over variations between places and even peoples' behavior. Nevertheless, we always have to wind up generalizing to some degree.
Personally, I expect to wind up in a large metro area; in such a place, I would feel safer. If I were considering small towns, I would follow Beach Sportsfans's advice. In addition, I just remembered knowing a lesbian couple who lived in Los Alamos, NM. Very highly educated community, in the mountains (but perhaps the winters would be too cold for the OP), and maybe an hour or so from Santa Fe. For an outdoors person, I imagine it would be great, but I hear that some people consider it too expensive ... but, that aspect is one that each person must evaluate for themself.
I agree that Ashville SC seems pretty nice. I visited there last summer, but as much as I liked it, I did find it to be a bit warm & humid while I was there. Not as bad as Houston (where I'm from), but still. However, it was quite pleasant to go up into the Smokey Mtns from there. It seemed very youth-oriented downtown, but I actually enjoy that even though I would expect to suffer a bit of age discrimination.
As for Redding CA, I remember (from the 70s) riding a bus that stopped there, getting off for a break, and being told by an old guy on the street that I needed a haircut. That was weird, I never experienced that growing up in Texas. However, Guerneville (closer to SF) is known as a gay mecca of sorts and is in a pretty area. Not sure of the COL living there.
Anyway, I agree that it could be tough to make a decision, unless money were no object.
Yes it can be very tough to make such an important decision. As we get older things get in the way, and money and COL have to be addressed.
I've found I'm going to have to put my decision to move on hold. At least for the summer. I've got Medical things going on, and its no time to move right now. I took my house off the market until things ease up. Believe me life can get in the way, and. obstacles seem to accelerate as we age. Make the most of each day, because you never know what's going to happen.
I use to think New Mexico would be a nice retirement area. The Albuquerque area. I've gone to visit several times. It must not be meant to be. Every visit I have serious nose bleeds, from dryness I'm sure. Though I've wondered if altitude is part of the problem. Anyway I decided against it, though I enjoy the open countryside. I also like one can get away from crowds, unlike here in Fla. I do recommend parts of NM, for those that enjoy the outdoors as I do. Its actually a nice climate there. Sadly though the crime is very high, as is the high rate of poverty.
Yes it can be very tough to make such an important decision. As we get older things get in the way, and money and COL have to be addressed.
I've found I'm going to have to put my decision to move on hold. At least for the summer. I've got Medical things going on, and its no time to move right now. I took my house off the market until things ease up. Believe me life can get in the way, and. obstacles seem to accelerate as we age. Make the most of each day, because you never know what's going to happen.
I use to think New Mexico would be a nice retirement area. The Albuquerque area. I've gone to visit several times. It must not be meant to be. Every visit I have serious nose bleeds, from dryness I'm sure. Though I've wondered if altitude is part of the problem. Anyway I decided against it, though I enjoy the open countryside. I also like one can get away from crowds, unlike here in Fla. I do recommend parts of NM, for those that enjoy the outdoors as I do. Its actually a nice climate there. Sadly though the crime is very high, as is the high rate of poverty.
Don’t know what your budget is. But did you look at Palms of Manasota. Just south of St Pete and north of Sarasota. It was originally an LGBTQ retirement complex with about 40 homes or so. It went bankrupt during the downturn but someone told me they are still around just not advertising as strictly LGBTQ.
My advice is you need to look for an area budget wise that will get you an area with more educated people, you stand a better chance of being surrounded by more open- minded or live let live people. So when you say the West, I have found most areas to be more expensive and so your budget might put you in with the type of people that might not be the most open minded. So my pattern has been to look not for the cheapest area in town and close enough to a major city or university towns which tend to be more welcoming.
Yes you are completely correct. Look for an area with educated people, within ones budget. Otherwise an I'm a prime example. You may find yourself in a 55 + Mobile Home park. Thinking everyone will be retired people that want quiet respectable residents. However Fla allows as the park ages, to allow the exact opposite to move in. Younger troubled people with mountains of problems. Not very educated and don't keep their homes up. Fla allows 20% of these types in Retirement Parks. I wouldn't have moved in if I knew this. It makes it next to impossible to sell for a fair price. I find this type of situation a form of elder abuse.
So your suggestion of retiring in areas with educated populations, is definitely the thing to do.
Yes you are completely correct. Look for an area with educated people, within ones budget. Otherwise an I'm a prime example. You may find yourself in a 55 + Mobile Home park. Thinking everyone will be retired people that want quiet respectable residents. However Fla allows as the park ages, to allow the exact opposite to move in. Younger troubled people with mountains of problems. Not very educated and don't keep their homes up. Fla allows 20% of these types in Retirement Parks. I wouldn't have moved in if I knew this. It makes it next to impossible to sell for a fair price. I find this type of situation a form of elder abuse.
So your suggestion of retiring in areas with educated populations, is definitely the thing to do.
I am so sorry to see that you are not happy where you are. It is a sad thing when people cannot live their own lives and not have to be concerned about trouble. Best wishes to you Jimrob.
hi;
Any ideas for 55 yrd old gay man moving to Knoxville for 2 things. Jobs and decent priced housing/whether mobile home or condo? Still a paralagal but not lawyer. Don't know if Knowville has gay clubs or even a gay friendly church which matters more. Otherwise I assume no other way to meet other gay people. Just the way it goes i guess when you leave the big cities of the north. If you know of large areas where area are in a community park or condo that would be nice.. tks, Tom
North Hampton Ma....not so mild winters.....otherwise it fits the biil
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