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Ironically it has to be written by the doctor for the dnr.
Then the staff must abide by the physicians order.
My parent had such a living will. The doctor abided and entered into order her directives. Although two of them I had to over ride since the blood transfusion did need to be rendered. It was a doctor/family decision.
I had to reflect here on ltc facility and realize quite painfully. I worked at one...and witnessed some horrific medical misfortunes. How sad on my part that I didn't step up and be more considerate on the person laying there. Yes I sat with a few. And looked into the eyes of a panic laden lady as she slithered from my arms to pass. No I wasn't harming her...I was following her passionate plea that she didn't want to die in bed..so up she stood and seconds later she slumped. Seriously I do not fair well watching a person pass...it is not like seeing life come into the world. It's the darkest of feelings.
Nope, I never fear the unknown. We will all get to deaths door someday. I just would like to go quick like my dog. He got a real stupid look on his face and fell down dead.
Yes, I'll admit that I am. I know we will all die some day but I am in no rush. Neither was my grandmother who died at 99 years old and lived a full and happy life. I do fear the unknown and I still have things I want to do on this earth. I will be 45 in July and I hope I have another healthy 45 years of life left in me as well as wishing the same for my dear husband. When the time comes, of course, I would like it to be pain free and swift. I hope there is some sort of existence after death, but I have no idea; none of us do.
A big surprise to me was finding out, first from my doctor and later from my own research:
There is no state in The US that has a law that requires MDs to follow a DNI/DNR. I think every state should have a law making the following of a DNI/DNR mandatory.
Secondly, EMTs are forbidden to follow a DNI/DNR. They must ignore it. They have no discretion. They must try to save the patient, at all cost(s).
I think there was a story going around the Internet not long ago about a guy who had DNI/DNR tattooed on his chest. And the EMTs ignored it, and so did his doctor(s). I don't know if it was true or not -- but it sure made me feel secure in my DNI/DNR. Not.
Regarding the guy who had DNR tattooed on his chest, I read about that in an article in the New England Journal of Medicine. The editors presented the article for general readership precisely because it presented an ethical quandary.
I can't remember the entire article, but I do remember that one possible interpretation suggested by the authors was that the individual may have been drunk when he got this tattoo, and therefore it does not express his wish.
When I read that, I was flummoxed. To me, it was obvious that this individual knew exactly what he was doing when he got this tattoo, regardless of how medical personnel might (mis)interpret it.
A big surprise to me was finding out, first from my doctor and later from my own research:
There is no state in The US that has a law that requires MDs to follow a DNI/DNR. I think every state should have a law making the following of a DNI/DNR mandatory.
Secondly, EMTs are forbidden to follow a DNI/DNR. They must ignore it. They have no discretion. They must try to save the patient, at all cost(s).
I think there was a story going around the Internet not long ago about a guy who had DNI/DNR tattooed on his chest. And the EMTs ignored it, and so did his doctor(s). I don't know if it was true or not -- but it sure made me feel secure in my DNI/DNR. Not.
It's true that there are no laws regarding the DNR/DNI.
I am not sure about EMTs though.
My father (77) had a massive heart attack this Memorial Day and my mom found him on the bed when she got home from running an errand for him. He had previously had a cardiac arrest back last September. My mom noticed that the wall unit air conditioner had been installed (about 80 lbs) and the wall unit for their bedroom was sitting up by the window. My dad was not a big guy; about 5'5" tall and 140 at his heaviest. He was pretty stubborn and had lifted the AC units by himself; stubbornness kind of runs in the family. She couldn't 'wake' him so called 911. When the police, fire department and EMTs got there they asked if he had a DNR which he did. This was in Upstate NY in the Syracuse area. They didn't try to revive him and respected the DNR order. I'm gutted that my dad is gone but he didn't want to be revived so I have to respect that.
That was the longest drive from Erie to Syracuse I've done and it's scary because it only took me 3 hours instead of the usual 4 hours and 15 minutes...and I don't remember any of it.
I did hear about the guy with the "DNR" tattooed on his chest who had the heart attack and was revived via AED. If you do have a DNR keep it on your refrigerator at home and let your family know your wishes; also make sure that your primary healthcare provider has signed off on it and knows your wishes. You can also keep a copy of it in your wallet as well as my dad did.
If we had legal suicide, there’d be no need for LTC insurance.
All those highly paid lobbyists from the nursing home industry wouldn't allow legalizing physician-assisted suicide. Their for-profit business models would take a hit.
I’m not afraid of death, it’s the dying part that worries me.
I have a living will and medical power of attorney in place. I pray my wishes will be carried out. At this point in my life, I wouldn’t subject myself to chemo or other radical measures to stay alive. For me, quality of life far outweighs longevity of life.
Good answer. In the bold, I think we all worry about that part. When it's our time to go, we can only hope to go quickly and painlessly and it would be nice to be able to say goodbye to loved ones.
Being born late in my mothers life. She was 48 and didn't realize she was pregnant until her 7th month.
When you are born late in life, you witness the deaths of your grandparents, my father when I was 6, aunts, uncles. I remember seeing people crying, shocked, going to funeral masses, cemeteries, etc. as a child. These people were important in my childhood and I really didn't understand what was happening.
Death scares the hell out of me. My father died in our livingroom. It scared me and no one explained what was happening.
Anyway, death is not something I can be comfortable about. I know it is coming but I see it as so final, no going back.
When people say they are not afraid of the unknown, I don't understand that. While I'm living, I'm not afraid of the unknown, I am not afraid of most things. I'm strong and not a nervous type. But death is not something that is unknown. It is final. Not something you experience after you die. Its what was, before you existed...nothing.
I do believe in the comment about energy. I do sort of believe there is something which can pull in the energy of the dead by thinking, talking to them or the person who they once were. My mother's death was very traumatic for me because she raised me alone after my fathers death. We were close. My brothers were grown men when I was born. They married and moved away shortly after. They were surrogate fathers while I grew up and their death was very upsetting as they were only in their early 70's.
Anyway, I feel my two children will be at my side, I have no doubt about that.
However, I don't think I will ever feel comfortable about death or dying. I will fight it as long as I am able.
There is dying, and then there is death. Former is a process, while the latter is an event, if not final one of a lifetime.
Dying can take many forms and I for one wouldn't want to linger a slow death such as with cancer or another mortal illness. Seen it too many times......
OTOH death is just when your heart ceases to beat.
Believe what most fear about death is the unknown. All we truly have are what the various faiths tell us is *supposed* to happen after we enter that grand sleep. But no one has ever awakened and given concrete and solid evidence.
One of my favorite episodes of The Twilight Zone is " Nothing In The Dark". It stars a young Robert Redford as "Death", and Gladys Cooper.
When I first saw this episode it gave me nightmares for weeks. But then as got older and people began dying (family and friends) realized there isn't really anything to fear. Death is simply a part of living. For some life is long, others it isn't, but there isn't anything one can really do; when your number is up....
"There was an old woman who lived in a room. And, like all of us, was frightened of the dark. But who discovered in a minute last fragment of her life that there was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. Object lesson for the more frightened amongst us in, or out of, the Twilight Zone."
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