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A child hardly ever heard the "f-bomb" in public -- I personally never heard that word until I was in my mid-teens -- and most mid-60's TV sit-coms did not even hint at the act of sexual intercourse. (In 1968, "Romeo and Juliet" was almost scandalous because Olivia Hussey very briefly flashed her breasts and there was about a five-second view of Leonard Whiting's bare bottom. I saw it with my 10th grade English class, but many of my classmates' parents refused to give permission for their children to see it.)
This is so true -- I did not hear that word uttered by anyone until college, which was the late 1980s for me. There were some additional words I learned later during college on an outing to Yankee stadium :-O
Traffic -- little to none. I drove from Kansas City to Massachusetts and vv. four times per year (home to college for summer and Christmas break). The roads were never crowded. There were still nice places to eat and shop in the little towns along the way -- no superstores to speak of.
Half of the population smoked, so there were significant accommodations made for smokers everywhere (standing ashtrays by every elevator, for example).
Everyone spoke and also dressed more formally. Suit and tie was the norm until the mid-1990s. Worn every day at work, while shopping in a nice area, and always at church or at a dinner out. Fashion hats and gloves had mostly disappeared, although some of the older ladies still wore them.
"Fast casual" dining was not yet a thing: restaurants were either formal or cheap fast food. Not a lot in between, except the odd lunch counter. Accordingly, much of the socializing took place at dinner parties in private homes.
Drinking -- beer or cocktails. Very few people drank wine (I think California may have been an exception). Imported wine was exotic to say the least. Recipes were also much more "traditional" -- lots of baked casseroles or rich sauces. The term salad could apply to noodles or even gelatin. Amazingly, everyone was much slimmer. You just didn't see morbidly obese people out-and-about.
Mentally ill people were also kept out of sight. Even children with mild disabilities were not yet "mainstreamed" and went to alternate schools. A very conformist, even perfectionist image was maintained by many families regardless of what was going on behind the scenes (people were more private, too).
Duck and cover. I don't think these last couple of generations understand the fear that could generate in young children. That's why the first version of Red Dawn did so well. The Russians and Cubans taking over the U.S. was a real life threat. There was no similar fear to use in the remake.
Thanks for the reminder... I'm old enough to remember those drills,
but I don't recall them affecting anyone's mood: when the drill was over,
class resumed... and of course we kids eagerly awaited the next recess,
and the 3:30 bell. Duck and cover was like the fire drill, except we stayed
in the classroom.
And perhaps even at our young ages we already knew the truth --
if there really were a nuclear war, we'd all be vaporized instantly;
ducking and covering wouldn't make an ounce of difference.
The air conditioning doesn't work very well. Air conditioning?
I wouldn't date him, he smokes. Doesn't everyone?
Ugh! I don't care if her father did die, I could never visit a funeral home. When a high school classmate´s father died, her mother flung herself across the body in the coffin, grabbed the corpse's crotch in one hand and screamed, "He (some would later say she said "it") was mine, all mine!" You had to go, but sometimes it was better than the World Series.
We have an IRA. I didn't know you were Irish.
LOL to the last one! Best laugh of the day so far.
I'm trying to remember how old I was when my parents put a window air conditioner in the house. There was only one, and it was in the dinette window so the kitchen was the coldest room. Just looked at a couple of old photos of me in that room and it's not there yet, so they probably didn't get it until I was at least 10 years old.
I don't think my mom got a clothes washer until I was six or seven ( I have clear memories of her doing laundry on a washboard in the kitchen sink) and even then didn't get a dryer. I think I was in my teens before she got one of those. We weren't poor, it was just that household stuff was not on my dad's spending-priority list at all. He found all that stuff boring and would rather spend his/our income on fun things like taking us on vacations, out to dinner, shopping, and a buying new car every 3 years like clockwork.
Last edited by BBCjunkie; 06-19-2019 at 02:11 PM..
Half of the population smoked, so there were significant accommodations made for smokers everywhere (standing ashtrays by every elevator, for example).
Mentally ill people were also kept out of sight. Even children with mild disabilities were not yet "mainstreamed" and went to alternate schools. A very conformist, even perfectionist image was maintained by many families regardless of what was going on behind the scenes (people were more private, too).
Thanks for posting.
The first paragraph brought a very vivid "memory picture" to my mind, and you are SO right! It seemed that "everyone" smoked, and there were ashtrays everywhere, including the elevator ashtrays you mentioned.
And regarding the second paragraph above, that is a very good example and reminder that not everything was wonderful about our youth! Sometimes I get very nostalgic for the world as it was 50+ years ago for white middle-class "normal" (meaning those without any disabilities) Americans, and tend to overlook the darker side of that world -- so thanks for the reminder.
P.S. My brother was put into "special ed" classes because he had muscular dystrophy, and most of the kids in his class had physical handicaps, with only a couple of mentally retarded kids*, and none with emotional, behavioral or personality "disorders" that I recall. I also don't recall any child being labeled with any of the terms used to diagnose so many kids today, such as having ADHD, being "on the spectrum", etc. It seems to me that in some ways, people were more accepting of differences then than they are now. For example, people might describe a boy as being "girlish" or as being hyperactive, but most of the people I knew just accepted as simple fact that not all people are the same.
So, I do think that it is true that in some ways people back then were absolute conformists, but in other ways, to repeat, they were really more truly accepting of differences. (I could be wrong about that, of course!)
*Btw, back then, it was acceptable to say both 'handicapped' and 'mentally retarded' because most people weren't paranoid about using very blunt terms. If someone couldn't see, s/he was described as being blind -- not visually impaired, for example.
Last edited by katharsis; 06-19-2019 at 02:28 PM..
I guess it depends where you are from. The weddings I went to in my younger days were either in a fire hall or an ethnic club such as the Sons of Italy or the Slovak Club.
Well, "Long Island weddings" have always had a rep for being over the top compared to other parts of the country. A 2017 survey of wedding costs nationwide found that the average wedding expenditure here is twice the national average.
Long Island ranks third nationally for highest average wedding costs, behind Manhattan and North/Central New Jersey.
The total cost of a Long Island wedding, excluding a honeymoon, was $61,113 on average, nearly twice the national average of $33,391, according to the study.
At an average price tag of $27,685, Long Island couples spend more on their reception venue than some spend on their entire wedding.
The average Long Island bride in The Knot survey spends $2,347 — topped only by Manhattan — compared with the national average of $1,509 for a bridal gown.
Long Island couples surveyed by The Knot said they spent an average of $9,500 on the engagement ring in 2017, nearly twice the national average. ... Of those surveyed, 45 percent went with a custom ring.
Weddings have always been a big business here culturally. One difference, I think, is that nowadays the couples themselves are shouldering more of the cost. When I was in high school and in my twenties, it was expected that the bride's parents would pay for the entire wedding; the only thing the groom was expected to pay for was the engagement and wedding ring, and either all or part of the honeymoon (if it wasn't entirely covered by the wedding-gift checks!) But with costs the way they are today, we baby boomer parents can't always afford to pay for the whole shebang and so it's usually some percentage and the couple pays (or borrows) for the rest. So in that one respect (who pays for what) weddings here have changed from then to now.
I look back fondly on many of the cultural norms of my youth. But now I am older and have lived life, and got to know many people outside of my own group. I can't help but think what the culture was for them when I was young.
There were no African Americans in management or running large companies. They were not welcome in many neighborhoods or suburbs, and could not obtain a mortgage from a bank. If they could buy a house, it was in a poorer and segregated neighborhood. Their chances of economic advancement were slim.
Women couldn't have a checking account or credit card in their own name. Women couldn't get a loan, only the husbands were able to.
Gay people could be fired if anybody found out. Even in the 1950s and 60s, they could be arrested simply for who they were. They had no civil rights as a citizen. The government purged and fired them during a crusade in the 1950s.
I'll go with community unity. It's all but gone. These days everybody has a cause or a low trigger point about something or another. This causes such distrust and anger. It was NEVER like this when I was growing up. America is one now big unhappy dysfunctional family. Truly sad.
On a date, it was just her and you. She would look into your eyes and you felt like you were on top of the world. With no cells phones to check, the date was exclusive to the company present. Not til the end of the date when the boy walked the girl home and hoped for a good night kiss did she get on the telephone [on the kitchen wall] to give an update to her best friend on how the date went.
You were boyfriend and girlfriend and after a couple weeks you asked her to go steady with you. Jeri and I had been steady for three weeks when she began to discreetly ask my friends when I was going to kiss her. I was terrified (NewYorkGal, where are you when a guy needs moral support??!!!?)!!!!
You have to understand something. Jeri really liked me a lot. I mean a lot. When I did get up the nerve, I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest. Somehow, I pulled it off. And Jeri was so overjoyed she could not stop talking about it. In class. And had to write 500 times 'I will not talk in class'.
You see, Jeri had that beautiful combination of blonde hair and brown eyes (Going down the old mine - with a transistor radio -- Van Morrison) and when she looked at me with those brown eyes, I just knew she was the prettiest girl in the world.
We were at her little brothers Little League game when she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, Man, that was nice... To this day I know that kisses on the cheek are the best.
Now days it is about getting laid.
Duck and cover. I don't think these last couple of generations understand the fear that could generate in young children. That's why the first version of Red Dawn did so well. The Russians and Cubans taking over the U.S. was a real life threat. There was no similar fear to use in the remake.
We didn't have "Live Shooter Drills" at school. My daughter does and has since kindergarten.
And she knows that school shootings are real, not a hypothetical threat. She sees one occurring almost once-a-week at a school or college in the U.S.
On a date, it was just her and you. She would look into your eyes and you felt like you were on top of the world. With no cells phones to check, the date was exclusive to the company present. Not til the end of the date when the boy walked the girl home and hoped for a good night kiss did she get on the telephone [on the kitchen wall] to give an update to her best friend on how the date went.
You were boyfriend and girlfriend and after a couple weeks you asked her to go steady with you. Jeri and I had been steady for three weeks when she began to discreetly ask my friends when I was going to kiss her. I was terrified (NewYorkGal, where are you when a guy needs moral support??!!!?)!!!!
You have to understand something. Jeri really liked me a lot. I mean a lot. When I did get up the nerve, I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest. Somehow, I pulled it off. And Jeri was so overjoyed she could not stop talking about it. In class. And had to write 500 times 'I will not talk in class'.
You see, Jeri had that beautiful combination of blonde hair and brown eyes (Going down the old mine - with a transistor radio -- Van Morrison) and when she looked at me with those brown eyes, I just knew she was the prettiest girl in the world.
We were at her little brothers Little League game when she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, Man, that was nice... To this day I know that kisses on the cheek are the best.
Now days it is about getting laid.
Y'know, I think I am going to save your post, and from now on, when people ask me, "Why do so many old people think the old days were so great?", I will show them THIS ^^^
[Sigh]
(Btw, I bet a lot of people have told you that you're a romantic, and I don't think there are very many young men like you today. I hope I'm wrong.)
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...go on and kiss the girl...
