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I too have this great fear of what would happen if I pass before my wife. I have never seen her pay a bill on time, she does not even open the mail when a bill arrives. I wonder also what I can do to help her if I am gone. Paying the bills is a big concern but I also know she will never put in the effort to understand the investments, and how to plan or use them wisely. Someone will also have to make sure taxes are filed etc. This is all a big worry for me.
You have received such excellent and valuable information on this thread. Thank you to all of those that responded with such great advice.
OP it’s smart of you to foresee the problem your untimely death could have on your wife’s ability to handle the finances. Best of luck as you pursue a good plan to help her in this regard.
Yes, you are reading it correctly. She is who she is (a wonderful person who I would do anything for, and she for me).
We married young with no money and she has little interest in finances. Whatever we had was good enough in her eyes, but not mine.
I've received some great advice here and I believe I can move forward with this.
I wouldn't necessarily give up yet. My Mom didn't know how to pay a bill or even write a check until after she was 60. She only learned because my Dad became terminally ill with ALS and knew that she would HAVE to take over the bill-paying after he died. In the 20 months between his initial hospitalization and death he turned her into quite a knowledgeable person about finances, plus he also set up a number of CDs and IRAs that would provide for her. She was meticulous about her recordkeeping until she got dementia almost 30 years later. She also had a good estate attorney and financial advisor as well.
How much would this cost? I imagine the cost of a lawyer would be pretty high to do simple tasks like paying bills that everyone does on their own, but looks like in this case might have to do something like that.
I don't know. You'd have to shop around.
However, lawyers don't pay bills. Today it's all electronic fund transfer.
What's sad is every 90 days the newspaper here publishes all the properties with delinquent taxes, and most of them are elderly who forgot to pay or let family members wheedle money out of them and now the don't have enough money, so their property is being seized.
All you need is the attorney to review the account quarterly or bi-annually.
There are other types of trusts that are self-operating. You can set up EFTs for electric, cable, cell-phone, car insurance, home insurance, property taxes, water bill, or whatever and then place a limit on the amount that can be spent/withdrawn in a month for cash.
Sometimes you have to do that, because people will fritter away money until it's all gone and then they got nothing.
Finding an accountant/trustee might not be easy. I needed to do this for my dad. I asked an elder attorney for a recommendation and spoke to a couple of accountants and some trust companies. One accountant said he was just doing a favor for a family friend, the other quit returning my calls. I called full service trust companies but their services aren't available for net a worth of less than $500k. OP, you may expect to have a comfortable cushion well over this amount but I wanted to mention my experience.
I eventually found a referral through my church of someone who is an organizer with some accounting background though not a CPA. It has worked out really well but my point is take time to find someone well in advance. Of course it needs to be someone you can trust but I'd recommend having someone fill out and mail the checks with your wife's signature. Of course getting accounts set up for auto pay is a good idea.
Dad also has a traditional financial planner through his credit union. Those are easy to find but getting someone for the weekly visits is a challenge.
Don't count on your wife finding the ability for these tasks. Even if she does catch on there will come a time when it is a struggle.
Everyone's circumstances (including intrinsic personalities, financial savvy, relationship dynamics, family history, type and amount of investments, etc, etc) are different... so I won't pretend to "tell you what to do." But I can tell you how it has worked for us.
My wife is similarly disinterested in financial matters, or at least is not as interested and hands-on as I have been. She does, however, pay the bills. We talk about any big expenditures. When it comes to investments and retirement accounts, once or twice a year I summarize EVERYTHING on a single page.... just a simple itemized listing of assets (name and current amount), liabilities, and net worth. Getting everything plugged into an online tracking system (I use Personal Capital, but Mint is another) has made this much easier than it used to be, tracking manually. With that tally in hand, I sit down with her and run the list, then file away in a folder. She is interested enough to see where things are, how they are doing, and it provides a handy tabulation in case I am not here someday, for her (or someone helping her) to know what we have and where it is. Granted, this doesn't do anything to change spending habits or inclinations, but I am more comfortable knowing that she has this general knowledge.
BTW, I note that you and I were born within days of each other, so happy birthday to both of us!
[ETA: I didn't read through all responses yet, so my apologies if already suggested, or far off the mark for your circumstances.]
It doesn't sound like your wife can't do this, just that she won't, or maybe just has no good work habits to get things done timely. See, if she doesn't do a good job, eventually you will take it back over and she's off the hook for this work. Do you think a couple's counselor session or two might be helpful?
My DH is perfectly able to do this stuff. He used to run his business by himself before I began to help and eventually it all got left to me. I have to keep telling him basic things like which banks we use, where our records are kept, etc. etc. He's a very frugal guy so I don't have to worry about that, but he's just sure I'm taking care of it fine so he doesn't have to think about it. For sure he'd have to get up to speed quickly if something happened to me, and like you I am concerned. I think he'd be lost for a while.
How about if you sat down with her and did it together...over and over. Would that work? I do wish you luck..
When my husband starts talking money, I start to yawn. Wanna see me fall asleep fast? Turn on CNBC... or golf. We have a trusted finance guy that mans the helmet. I believe I'll be just fine in my ignorance.
ASpendthrift Trust is a trust that is created for the benefit of a person (often unable to control his spending) that gives an independent trustee full authority to make decisions as to how the trust funds may be spent for the benefit of the beneficiary. Creditors of the beneficiary generally cannot reach the funds in the trust, and the funds are not actually under the control of the beneficiary.
The thing you would need to decide is who would be the trustee. Frequently it is a trusted family member, but in your case that probably isn't appropriate. In your case, an actual trust company would give you more peace of mind. https://www.investopedia.com/terms/t/trustcompany.asp They are not free, of course. Talk to a few local companies. Talk to a few national companies.
Specifically talk to them about your unique personal situation and why you need to set up a spendthrift trust. You also need to decide about the types of investments in which you want your assets - how much risk to incur, etc, which will in turn have an impact on how much money can be spent over time.
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There are many trust companies to choose from, ranging in size and fees. The larger trust companies provide more products and services but may lack the personal touch of smaller institutions. Some of the larger trust companies are Northern Trust, Bessemer Trust, and U.S. Trust. These trusts generally charge their fees based on a percentage of assets, ranging from 0.25 percent to 2.0 percent, depending on the size of the trust.
Last edited by RationalExpectations; 07-14-2019 at 08:40 AM..
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