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For some who don’t know my history, I’m a retired Social Worker. With my experience I can assure you the likelihood of winding up in assisted living is very small. So small we are not spending money on LTC or any type of assisted living insurance.
The “fantasy” that we can be self sufficient until we die is the actual reality for 90% of elders and most of the other 10% will do ok with a little in home help
The CCRC’s we have visited have lots of happy elderly residents in their Independent Living area. The supportive life style helps give them a community of peers with all they need close at hand.
The CCRC’s we have visited have lots of happy elderly residents in their Independent Living area. The supportive life style helps give them a community of peers with all they need close at hand.
We are also looking into CCRC's. There are several people I know who live in a nearby CCRC in the independent cottage areas. Over the past few years, 4 of the husbands have died. The surviving spouses had built in emotional and financial backup in dealing with the final illnesses and eventual loss.
One negative that I see, as one of the women once said, "living where I do, there are a lot of people here who need help." She appears to be very busy giving rides and other wise "doing" for others.
My widowed mother, approaching 80 years old, looked at a nice assisted living facility in exurban Philly (former farmland maybe 40 miles out of town) last year. It's near my sister, her only daughter, but far from where she has lived for the past fifty years. The place was new and shiny, with lots of bells and whistles, but she decided not to do it based on the cost/expense primarily, and secondarily because the idea of moving from her existing apartment and community of friends was overwhelming.
I think the apartment was roughly $200k for a 1-bedroom unit, with 90% supposedly refunded upon move out or death, and monthly expenses (meal plan and utilities and activity fees) were roughly $2500.
I have mixed feelings about these places. I sort of hope to go earlier, at home, suddenly, but it rarely works out like that.
As a social worker on this thread has noted, as has Consumer Reports, most elderly people do okay (not like an AARP commercial, and not like the walking dead) for most of their retirement years and then succumb to illness, stroke, heart attack fairly quickly. Most elderly can manage for the most part in their own homes, perhaps with some minimal assistance or adaptive devices (e.g., grab bars, ramps).
One thing I'll note is that my mother, elderly herself, doesn't like the idea of being surrounded by people older and sicker than herself. She currently lives in a large urban apartment complex with a wide range of tenants, including many single working people, families with young children, and some elderly folks.
For some who don’t know my history, I’m a retired Social Worker. With my experience I can assure you the likelihood of winding up in assisted living is very small. So small we are not spending money on LTC or any type of assisted living insurance.
The “fantasy” that we can be self sufficient until we die is the actual reality for 90% of elders and most of the other 10% will do ok with a little in home help
Thank you, most sincerely, for being the ray of sunshine breaking through all the forbidding-looking clouds!
My husband and I have been looking at CCRCs, as well. Three of our four parents ended up in nursing homes, two of which were nice but one was horrible. We have no kids or other relatives to watch over us, so we want to be somewhere where we won't have to worry about what's going to happen. We know where we'll end up and we won't have to scramble in the event that we get sick and have to find a place that will take us.
Yes, they are expensive, but worth it to us. It's like buying insurance. We may be lucky and drop dead while we're in an independent apartment, or we may need assisted (they call it "personal care now) or nursing. But we know that the cost will be the same as independent living if we need nursing care. No one knows how their final years will play out.
It's a risk no matter what you choose. And both have benefits.
Mom chose to move into a CCRC after Dad died. She couldn't stand to be in a house that 6 of us lived in--said every time the heat kicked on she would roll her eyes and think, "why am I heating this house for one person?" Her mother with Alzheimers also lived with us when the sibs and I were very young. Think 4 kids under 6 + Alzheimer grandmother. She didn't want that for us.
She moved into independent living and loved it. For all the older people there, there are tons of people who were tired of maintaining a home, or were planning for future issues. Bowling, special shuttles to cultural events, musical programs, etc., there is a group for every interest.
Fast forward 8 years, a stroke and seizure issues renders her far less independent. She needed private nursing 24/7 because she wasn't safe alone. $14,000/month for that. Plus, she was extremely isolated in independent living because she wasn't so independent.
So she moved to assisted living, which...not so much with the assistance. She barely made it in to assisted living instead of skilled nursing and quickly deteriorated in 3 months. So on to skilled nursing she went.
It's been about 4 years since then. She's very happy there and they do have a lot of activities, even for the skilled nursing group--field trips to movies, restaurants, etc. Now it's costing her $13,000/month, but it's a better use of her money and a much more stimulating environment.
I've said it on another thread, people often make the mistake of thinking either you're fully functioning and able to take care of yourself, or you're in a nursing home. It's the area in between that's problematic. (Okay, they're all problematic, but you know what I mean.)
Oh no, let’s not go into that. My brother’s MIL was relieved at her husband funeral. We all have our limits.
True. No one can understand what a person goes through w/ a very ill family member in which they're responsible for. I think a dementia patient esp. has got to be rough. It's not just elders. Parenting children w/ special needs, autism, etc. can be very challenging.
Younger people, too. I've seen a wife care for a quadriplegic husband. Very little arm/hand movement. Needed nurses everyday. Many body systems affected w/ that injury. She'd yell at the nurses, who could blame her? She was in beyond what she could handle. They were only in their 30's w/ two young kids.
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