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Interesting article in the NY Times on the assisted living industry. Apparently it has grown significantly the last few years. The article points out that it is based on the hope that seniors have that they can be mostly independent with just a little assistance, but that it is hard to deliver on that promise because people often need more than just a "little" assistance.
Basically, growing old is hard. I have no idea what DW and I are going to do when we can no longer manage on our own. We have no close family, so it is all on us to figure it out.
Everyone should have an “exit” strategy. Personally I do not understand the desire to cling to life when the quality of that life is declining and headed for a comatose state. Could it be the growth in assisted living facilities is fueled by a need to assuage guilt? Available Medicaid funds?
We are still considering a CCRC. Our preferred one includes Independent Living Villas, Independent Living Apartments, Assisted Living Apartments, and Skilled Nursing Facility.
But these are not cheap, and affordable facilities may take you far from friends and your social centers.
My mother spent 3 years in assisted living before I had to move her to memory care 15 months ago. She couldn't have possibly lived independently. I had to take her car. I had a couple of employees I paid privately to supplement the limited things an assisted living facility will do. I was working with a heavy business travel schedule. My sister is 3,000 miles away with even more business travel. Assisted living was the only option. Even then, assisted living wouldn't have lasted very long without 4 or 5 days per week of outside people looking in for a few hours. I managed to delay memory care by maybe 18 months that way.
For-profit Elder Care exists to extract money from old people. Most people who land in assisted living have at least mild dementia issues or they'd still be at home aging in place.
Timely thread. I turned 62 a few weeks ago and almost immediately got invited to tour a local CCRC. Independent Living through Hospice Care. I will be seeing it next week. It looks like a good concept but something I'm not ready for yet. Maybe could put off till I'm 70-75. I am expecting some pretty heavy bread is required.
sounds like those people should have been in nursing homes - more hands on care
My mother is in a modern memory care facility that is in the middle ground between assisted living and a nursing home. There are 4 wings of 13 rooms and a common area shared by the four wings. A couple of the rooms in each wing are double occupancy for Medicaid residents. Each wing has a dining area and a TV lounge. Each wing has 24x7 staff. A geriatric physician or NP is on site every Thursday and a geriatric psychiatrist weekly. An RN is in the building 24x7. I write a $9,000 check every month. This place requires mobility. If you require a hoist for in and out of bed to a wheelchair, you go across the driveway to skilled nursing.
Not many posts but let me tell you of my situation. My wife was ill with cancer. Not debilitating at first but then she had a minor brain aneurysm so her days of being able to drive, go out alone, etc. were over. I became concerned about how would she do without me? The answer is she could not live independently. We began looking at places that offered independent living but could be upgraded to assisted living. I wanted to be sure she would be taken care of if something happened to me. Well she passed before we made any decision.
After she passed, I had to change my thinking from us..us...us to me...me..me. Took some time to do it but it has been 4 years and I have a good handle on it. I am 77 and still active. No running marathons but active enough to get around and do most anything I want to do. I would not remarry (unless she was quite a bit younger....LOL) as I never want to be in a position of taking care of and worrying about an ill wife ever again. My Final Exit plan is that when I get to a point that I, and I alone, consider my quality of life is no more, I plan on taking my own life. As of now, I am far from that point but I do have a plan.
It also varies by state - some communities have what the call an age-in-place strategy, some places require you to be ambulatory (walkers are fine, wheelchairs are not). The licensing varies by state. The big one on the hill close to me has a 6 figure buy-in (low to high, depending on the type of unit) plus a monthly fee.
I suspect a lot of seniors won't be able to afford the $3,000-$6,500 a month plus charges for extras that a lot of these assisted living places require, much less an actual nursing home. The era of the extremely generous pension has closed for people still working (they are out there, just not as common as they were) and even with millions in savings it gets eaten up quickly.
My MIL had a long-term care policy that she relied on, but it wasn't very good and her out-of-pocket fees were pretty high.
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After she passed, I had to change my thinking from us..us...us to me...me..me. Took some time to do it but it has been 4 years and I have a good handle on it. I am 77 and still active. No running marathons but active enough to get around and do most anything I want to do. I would not remarry (unless she was quite a bit younger....LOL) as I never want to be in a position of taking care of and worrying about an ill wife ever again. My Final Exit plan is that when I get to a point that I, and I alone, consider my quality of life is no more, I plan on taking my own life. As of now, I am far from that point but I do have a plan.
My thinking is along those lines if DW goes before me, or if she is completely out of it and has no idea I even exist. We talk about what we want and while I am adamantly opposed to assisted living of any kind, as I see it as a slippery slope to 24/7 care, DW is not adverse to that. So I need to think about her. But I have no wish to be warehoused someplace so just so I can have a few more years. It seems nightmarish to me. But avoiding that fate is not an easy decision either.
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