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Remember, WW II and Vietnam for that matter, interrupted a lot of relationships.
My own FIL had a girlfriend back in Pittsburgh. After he was away 3 years, she met someone else and wrote him a Dear John letter.
He returned from the 2 wars (WW II and Korea) and got married to a wonderful woman he met at a dance.
After her passing, he wanted to visit the old girlfriend back in Pittsburgh, wrote her a letter so she knew he was coming. She was then widowed also.
She would not open the door.
He would never visit Pittsburgh after that.
We found the letters (the Dear John, the letter he wrote to her - she returned it, the final letter she wrote him returning his letter and why she did not open the door).
I think she was his first love. Obviously, he never forgot her.
Shortly before he passed though, he had dreams and saw his wife in those dreams and his mind was clear to the end.
Remember, WW II and Vietnam for that matter, interrupted a lot of relationships.
My own FIL had a girlfriend back in Pittsburgh. After he was away 3 years, she met someone else and wrote him a Dear John letter.
He returned from the 2 wars (WW II and Korea) and got married to a wonderful woman he met at a dance.
After her passing, he wanted to visit the old girlfriend back in Pittsburgh, wrote her a letter so she knew he was coming. She was then widowed also.
She would not open the door.
He would never visit Pittsburgh after that.
We found the letters (the Dear John, the letter he wrote to her - she returned it, the final letter she wrote him returning his letter and why she did not open the door).
I think she was his first love. Obviously, he never forgot her.
Shortly before he passed though, he had dreams and saw his wife in those dreams and his mind was clear to the end.
Confusing, who wrote who a 'dear john letter'. This post doesn't make sense.
I've thought often about "the ones that got away". I didn't have to be on my deathbed to think about it. I even revisited the possibilities when one of them contacted me a long time ago. It turns out I was also his "one that got away".
I found that it really is one of those cases of "You can't go home again". When you try to rekindle what was lost, it's just not the same. Our memories are looked at through the rose-colored glasses of time. The hurts are forgotten, and the highs are magnified in hindsight. When we are actually there, with them standing right in front of you, you realize that they have changed, and so have you. The memories are just a crystallized, frozen moment in time, one that probably never even existed as you remember it. When confronted with the reality, we see it is so much less than our idealized fantasy of what could have been. We tried, but it was like trying to capture lightning in a bottle. Our moment was past.
Knowing this, I doubt that I will think back on my own deathbed at the lost opportunities of lovers from the past. I will just be sad for losing the opportunity to have any future.
I was engaged about ten years ago. We were in our early 20s, young and dumb, both drinking heavily, and often said things we didn't really mean. She also had some mental health issues that were exhausting. She ended up seeing a guy I knew growing up, and they got married.
We didn't talk for a few years, then got back in touch, and there was still chemistry there. We stopped talking a couple of years ago after she said it was interfering with her marriage. I got the impression that she wasn't very happy in her marriage. She has a lot of things going professionally and socially that keep her busy.
If she ever gets divorced, I'd love to see if we had anything left.
I was engaged about ten years ago. We were in our early 20s, young and dumb, both drinking heavily, and often said things we didn't really mean. She also had some mental health issues that were exhausting. She ended up seeing a guy I knew growing up, and they got married.
We didn't talk for a few years, then got back in touch, and there was still chemistry there. We stopped talking a couple of years ago after she said it was interfering with her marriage. I got the impression that she wasn't very happy in her marriage. She has a lot of things going professionally and socially that keep her busy.
If she ever gets divorced, I'd love to see if we had anything left.
Who wants to be at the end of their life will all that regret?
Oh, regret. You said resentment. Big difference.
I thought you were referring to my comment, which was really about the loss of an illusion, the fantasy of reuniting with lost love, and the acceptance that time has moved on and so must we.
Far more common is they converse with people that are no longer of our realm.
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